Let the Angels Commit/Grey Matter

Stacy McKee on "Let the Angels Commit"

Original airdate: 11/2/06

You know what’s funny? I’ve been sitting here for a good – oh – hour at least (which, by the way, means it’s gone from being bright and sunny to darkity dark dark outside, all by what? 5:00pm? I’m just going to say it. I officially hate daylight savings time) grappling with how to start this week’s writers blog.

It’s funny, because I actually blog with you guys every week (I also write the Grey’s Nurse’s Blog, for those of you who don’t know) and I usually have NO trouble at all coming up with all sorts of fun things to say, only… I just realized – the reason I’m having so much trouble tonight is… I can’t hide behind a character. I know exactly what Nurse Debbie would say about this episode (“Hello. What is this – Bring Your Snarky Sister To Work Day or what???”)

But tonight… I have to simply write this blog as… Me.

Jeesh. It’s a lot of pressure, people!

So – after watching my episode again (looking for inspiration), then watching the sun go down outside (again, looking for inspiration) – it hit me. There’s really only one way to get this blog started—

I have to be Ham.

I am ham, and I am committed to dish with you about this deliciously murky, incredibly dark and twisty episode. H. A. M. – Ham.

Now, let’s talk about Meredith and Derek. I’m sure you all noticed they don’t have a lot of face time in this episode – but, put yourself in Meredith’s position. How COULD they? She broke up with Finn. Then she told Derek that… she broke up with Finn. And now – she’s waiting – has BEEN waiting for Derek to, in some way, react to her news about dearly departed ex-boy-toy Finn!!! Suddenly she’s single; he’s single. Finally. They have a real chance at being together and – there’s a McHottie in Derek’s bed.

Ok, so it’s his sister, but whatever.

If I were Meredith – there’s really no way I’d be able to do anything right now but bite my nails, try to focus on work, avoid the HECK out of Derek and spend way too much time over analyzing things with my closest friends, only… Meredith can’t even do that. Because her closest friend, Cristina, is dealing with her own crazy problems, so…

It brings us to one of my very favorite (heartbreaking though it is) moments between Meredith and Derek. When they finally run into each other, after a very long gut wrenching day. Derek finally fesses up to the fact that he hasn’t so much as even called Meredith – but he should have. (Damn right he should.) And Meredith – trying so very hard to keep herself together, not to cry or scream or whatever it is you DO in that situation – the situation in which Derek SO SHOULD HAVE CALLED – and she says, simply: “But you didn’t.” God, that moment kills me every time. It just breaks my heart because – by not calling, Derek has said so much more to her than he ever could have said in a conversation. He’s shown Meredith that he has things to sort out. He’s shown her he’s not necessarily ready to move forward with her right now. He’s shown her the very thing she realizes, right there in the stairwell – that despite all this being newly single-ness… Derek needs some space.

So, in that moment, Meredith gives it to him. And don’t you just know that it kills her inside to do so, but… that’s what it means to be Ham. You just have to commit to something. Whether you want to or not.

Now – as for Derek, I for one really enjoy seeing him with his sister. It’s fun, frankly, to watch him interact with a woman he ISN’T sleeping with. And it’s just so nice to get a glimpse of who he must be at home, with his family – with all of his sisters – as a brother. The line where Derek tells Nancy that she sounds more and more like Mom everyday? Yeah, my brother’s said that to me a few times. And the part where Addison and Mark watch Nancy leave – and they sigh to themselves about how much they miss her? Can’t you just picture what the pre-Seattle Shepherd family holidays must have been like? Don’t you just KNOW it’s a blast to hang out at their place? I LOVE how Nancy gives us this teeny tiny window into the family that helped turn McDreamy into McDreamy.

Ok – now I have to take a moment to talk about Bailey. Holy crap – the look on her face at the end of this episode? Killer. But the part that the ham in me HAS to talk about – is the exchange Bailey has with Burke, after the Humpty Dumpty surgery, when Burke (backed into a corner and with absolutely no choice) is forced to tell Bailey that he “just couldn’t use” her. Burke – Burke of ALL people – should have Bailey’s back, and yet – he says something like that. And Bailey, of course, thinks she knows exactly what Burke means – because Bailey said the exact same thing to Izzie Stevens earlier in the day.

Bailey doesn’t trust Stevens. Bailey is disappointed in Stevens. Bailey doesn’t even really want to work with Stevens (remember when Bailey questions the Chief about putting Izzie back on her service?) So to Bailey? It’s like Burke must feel that exact same way about her – it’s just horrible. For Bailey, for Burke.

Until that final moment when Bailey sees Cristina writing and erasing things on that OR board…. And it hits her. There’s more to this than meets the eye. Which tells us all that clearly – things are about to get even more horrible for Cristina.

Oh, Cristina. Seattle Grace’s own Lady Macbeth… what can I say about Cristina? She’s (barely) holding it all together. She and Burke have started this thing – they have become a team, a well oiled machine, only… how long do they really think they can keep something like this up? Theirs is a temporary fix to potentially very big problem… they’ve barely been able to put their system into place and already, it’s beginning to unravel. But the thing to remember is this – Cristina is the definition of Ham. She is doing precisely what she has to do to protect Burke – whether it earns her points or burns bridges with her friends or her colleagues – she’s doing what it takes. Because she’s committed.

Alright – it occurs to me that, by being such a committed piece of ham, I’ve managed to write a very long blog already, and I still haven’t been able to address many MANY of our other characters. SO – quickly –

Izzie understands Gretchen (The Crazy Burn Girl) so well, because that speech, where Gretchen talks about only being known as one thing, as a failure? Izzie gets that in SUCH a big way – I mean, here she is, finally at work, and she isn’t even allowed to touch a patient because the last time she did, it was Denny. Talk about only being known for one thing? All anyone at Seattle Grace knows Izzie as is “The Intern Who Quit After Killing Her Boyfriend.” Izzie has a lot to prove – just like Gretchen. Luckily for us – Izzie’s journey doesn’t wind up with IZZIE being committed…

And George & Callie. Poor poor Callie – I’m on her side, folks. The girl’s so damn in love with George. And he’s blown her off over and over and now that she’s finally really truly broken things off with him– NOW George decides he’s the Pig? Is he kidding? Could his timing be any worse?

There’s a reason so many people (including our characters) have a fear of commitment. It’s a tricky thing. It usually comes at a cost – and sometimes that cost can be very high.

Or in the case of this particular blog, far too wordy. So this me, signing off for the night, hoping you enjoyed tonight’s episode– and, btw – don’t look for Debbie’s Blog right now – I’m sure I won’t be posting it until tomorrow… After all, even Ham has to sleep some time!