Save Me/Grey Matter

Some thoughts on Meredith, Derek, and faith...

''"Save Me"

Original Airdate 5/15/05''

Two more episodes from season 1 will air tonight. The first episode was written by the ultra-talented Mimi Schmir, who also wrote season 2's episode "Let it Be." You might remember "Let it Be" because it includes the single most memorable Meredith-Derek moment in the whole series -- when he's behind her in the elevator, only inches away, trying with all his might not to touch her because he's already chosen to stay with Addison. Meredith: "I miss you." Derek: "I can't." It's a painful moment not just for them, but for every viewer rooting for them.

On the other hand, when "Save Me" first aired last year, it had no such painful moment. It had the exact opposite. The big scene at the end between Meredith and Derek -- the one where we see his trailer for the first time -- is romantic and sweet and refreshing. No pain to be found.

Throughout the episode, Meredith wants to know more about Derek. They're finally in what looks like an actual relationship -- but she doesn't even know where he lives. What his family is like. What kind of music he listens to. Nothing. Who is this guy who's been waking up next to her in bed for a week?

And that leads up to this great Meredith and Derek scene. (here's the actual page from the script)

''EXT. FIELD - NIGHT

Derek and Meredith walk through the field. The stars are out. He marches her up to an Airstream trailer which is parked on the grass. Its lights are on.


 * MEREDITH
 * Where are we?


 * DEREK
 * Shut up. -- My mother's maiden name is Maloney.
 * I have four sisters, eight nieces and five nephews.
 * I like coffee ice cream, single malt Scotch and
 * occasionally a good cigar. I fly fish, I cheat when I
 * do the Sunday crossword puzzle and I don't dance
 * in public. My favorite color is blue.  And not that
 * light blue. Indigo.  The Sun Also Rises?  Favorite
 * novel. The Clash?  Favorite band.  This tiny little
 * scar by my nose? That's why I don't ride motor-
 * cycles anymore. And I live in that trailer!  And
 * all this land is mine and I have no idea what I'm
 * gonna do with it!! That's it, that's all you've earned.
 * For now. The rest...well, the rest you'll have to
 * take on faith.

Beat. He searches her face. Hopeful. Waiting to see what she'll do.


 * MEREDITH (V.O.)
 * Once in a while, people may even take your breath away.

She holds out her hand. He takes it.


 * MEREDITH
 * Nice castle.

And they go inside.


 * MEREDITH (V.O.)
 * That's what you have to believe.''

Shonda tells us that Grey's Anatomy is about fairy tales. That scene could be the end of one. In an episode about Faith, Meredith finally learns to have some faith of her own. Faith in Derek.

However, that faith is tested in a later episode, "Raindrops Keep Falling on My Head." When Derek takes Meredith back to his trailer, he tells her just how badly Addison hurt him, why he had to leave New York, and what Meredith has meant to him since he arrived ("You were like coming up for fresh air," he says).

And remember what Meredith says? "That's not enough."

And remember how you shouted at your screen "NOT ENOUGH?!? HOW CAN THAT NOT BE ENOUGH!?!?"

The above scene is why Meredith says that.

"The rest...well, the rest you'll have to take on faith."

That is why this scene is so painful to watch now -- just as painful as the elevator scene in "Let it Be" -- because we know what "the rest" is.

Not only did Derek not tell Meredith about Addison, but he told her everything except that, and then asked her to have faith in him.

And when Meredith takes his hand, she's believing in him.

And then in the next episode the fairy tale comes crashing down.

I don't know about you, but if that were me, I'd have trouble ever trusting that man again... Just something to keep in mind, not just as you rewatch the episode tonight, but, well, as you watch every episode that comes after (including those for this upcoming season).

-Eric