With You I'm Born Again

"Every cell in the human body regenerates on average every seven years. Like snakes, in our own way we shed our skin. Biologically we are brand new people. We may look the same, we probably do, the change isn't visible at least not in most of us, but we are all changed completely forever. When we say things like "People don't change" it drives scientists crazy. Because change is literally the only constant in all of science. Energy, matter, it's always changing. Morphing. Merging. Growing. Dying. It's the way people try not to change that's unnatural. The way we cling to what things were instead of letting them be what they are. The way we cling to old memories instead of forming new ones. The way we insist on believing, despite every scientific indication, that anything in this lifetime is permanent. Change is constant. How we experience change, that's up to us. It can feel like death, or it can feel like a second chance at life. If we open our fingers, loosen our grips, go with it, it can feel like pure adrenaline. Like at any moment we can have another chance at life. Like at any moment, we can be born all over again."

- Meredith Grey

''' In the season premiere, the hospital staff is trying to deal with physical and emotional trauma in the wake of the deadly rampage of a vengeful gunman. As Dr. Perkins, a trauma counselor, is brought in to help in the recovery and to assess each doctor's readiness to return to work, Derek makes a spontaneous decision to resign as Chief and rushes back into surgery, taking everything a little too fast, and Cristina buries herself in her wedding planning.'''

Full Summary
A month has passed and everyone is dealing with the fallout from the shooting differently and getting their own set of flashbacks to put the pieces together.

Meredith is in a session with Andrew Perkins, the shrink the hospital brought in to make sure they're all okay before they're cleared for surgery. She keeps insisting she's fine, not freaked out about Derek almost dying and really more concerned with Christina's impending nuptials.

Derek has taken to crazy speeding on the freeway and getting arrested for reckless endangerment. On his first day back at Seattle Grace he is handed an X-ray by April of a kid with a crazy inoperable brain tumor that would require Derek, Callie, and Sloan's expertise- not to mention splitting the kid's face open. He decides to resign as chief - in front of the whole staff that has assembled to welcome him back- and go back to surgery with this as his first case and he's clearly overly jazzed about it.

This results in Chief Webber doing a happy dance in his office. This dance is interrupted by Meredith who hopes he will override the shrink's determination that she's not cleared for surgery. Webber says Andrew is the best and Meredith has to get his okay.

Bailey went home to visit family with her son and is confused when she hears that she must be "cleared" for surgery.

Christina is obsessed with wedding plans.

Callie and Arizona seem as smitten as ever.

Teddy tells Karev his bullet is nearing the surface and could be removed but he decides to keep his "war wound" because "chicks dig it."

Lexie is dealing by deflecting, by talking to Perkins about Yang, Hunt, and Derek. (We flash back to an earlier group session with the whole gang in which Perkins didn't get much further as Yang talks tacos and Lexie talks about mass murders.)

Hunt asks Derek to be his best man, mostly because of Christina and Meredith's friendship. Derek agrees.

Bailey tells Perkins that the shooting day was the worst day of her life and that a boy died in her arms. (We flash back and see her rushing off to see her family immediately after the shooting and Jason George trying to figure out when she's coming back. She didn't say.)

The mother of the boy with the tumor doesn't want to go through with the crazy surgery plan. Derek tries to convince her. It doesn't take much more than a quick speech and a nod from the boy. Meredith tries to warn her of the dangers- blindess, coma, pain, die on the table, excruciating recovery. The boy and mom confer again.

Karev talks to Perkins about an incident the previous week with Lexie in the pit. Lexie was freaking and yelling at a patient and knocking stuff over. Karev walked away from her. He decides life's too short to have a girlfriend and almost being a hero is getting him chicks. Perkins wonders if Karev is always this crass or if it's a defense mechanism. Sloan busts in angry that Perkins cleared Lexie for surgery after he checked into her psych after the incident. Perkins says she was "snowed"-- doped up for 50 straight hours-- and when she woke up she was no longer a risk to herself or others. She has PTSD like everyone else but she just needed sleep. (And to dye her hair apparently.)

Owen and Teddy discuss his impending wedding. She claims she's happy for him.

Some of the gang sits on the gurney eating lunch and talking about getting pointed at in the cafeteria. Karev walks in waving his "cleared for surgery" form. Bailey walks in and very seriously says she's happy to see them all. She orders them all around and tells the interns she's sorry about the loss of their friends.

Derek meets with Perkins. He says he always wanted to quit the chief job, the shooting just gave him the courage. Derek flashes back to a bloody April and says a lot of people died in the shooting. We then flash back to Derek in recovery and April apologizing for Derek getting shot. He says he got everyone shot by pulling the plug on the guy's wife.

Cut to Derek driving crazily with his "cleared for surgery" form in the passenger seat.

Meredith goes back to Perkins and catches him making out with Teddy. She wonders if this is what she needs to do to get cleared. She wants to know what she needs to say. He says she's not being honest with him or herself and she needs to get her head straight first. We flash back to Meredith telling Christina to not say a word to Derek about what she's doing with the miscarriage/D&C. The fetus was at 5 weeks. She doesn't share this with Perkins.

Teddy tells Arizona that Meredith caught her and Perkins. Arizona says Callie is watching her sleep and she's worried that Callie is going to ask her to marry her and talk about having babies again. She doesn't want to "pop the bubble" and talk about it.

Webber tells Derek that he's been cleared to be chief again. He asks Derek if he's sure about going back to surgery and not being chief. He himself is struggling and he didn't even get shot. Derek says he feels adrenaline and the adrenaline is making him feel good.

They begin the surgery on the boy's brain tumor.

The whole gang watches from the gallery. Meredith can't believe she's not down there. Hunt observes that he saw war wounds that didn't cause this much damage. Yang reads a wedding magazine and Meredith drags her out. She says she and Christina are not better. Christina says in a couple of days they'll be fine. Meredith asks if Christina is really ready to get married. Why can't she wait six months? Christina thinks Meredith needs to tell Derek about the miscarriage. Meredith doesn't think he's ready.

Yang sits with Perkins. She is silent. He says if she's not ready there's no pressure. She skipped one appointment and was late to this one. She says she's getting married. She wants to go. He asks how she feels about going into the OR. She leafs through a wedding mag and talks about brides instead. She says she used to feel sorry for them, simple girls who just wanted to get married. She says you're either born simple or "born me." She wants to be the person who gets happy over finding a dress because no one holds a gun to the head of a simple girl. We flash back to the gunman holding the gun to her head. And then again to a post-shooting meeting with Owen where she is very skittish. She tells him she doesn't want to be alone and he says he's not ever leaving her again and he proposes. Instead of yes, she says thank you. Dr. Perkins thinks about this.

Bailey leaves the hospital tired and tearful and runs into Jason George. He apologizes for playing golf the day of shooting. He says he missed her. She says he's a handsome, good, kind, smart, and perfect man but she's busy holding herself together with tape and glue and a piece of her wishes he hadn't played golf because then he'd be all taped and glued and with her where she is. She breaks down and says he's too much for her in her current state. He tells her to take care of herself and kisses her hand and walks away.

Derek and Meredith make out post-surgery. She says he was amazing in the OR. They're about to get it on when he's paged.

The boy is seizing in recovery. Derek tells him this is "the fight" and he is in the driver's seat. The boy squeezes his arm. He tells the boy's mom this isn't a dying pain, it's a healing pain and that she wants it.

Derek is back being a menace on the road. Going over 125 miles an hour. he gets pulled over again. Meredith goes to bail him out.... again. He says they'll still make the wedding. She says she'll make it and grabs the ring from his pocket and leaves him in jail.

In the kitchen at the wedding Karev tells Lexie she looks hot. She says he thinks he's badass because he lived. She says she's the reason he lived and while he was dying he was crying out for the wife who left him, not so badass.

Sloan is telling Callie he's jealous of hunt. Callie says she's going to 'do it.' Arizona arrives and Callie asks her to move in with her. Arizona wonders if that's it. She's relieved and says yes. They kiss.

Meredith checks in with Owen and tells him that Derek isn't coming and that she's got the ring. He's a little worried that Christina isn't coming down. Meredith goes to check on her. She looks beautiful. She's wearing red. Meredith reports that Owen is perfect. Christina comes down the stairs with Meredith by her side.

They walk past their smiling friends as Meredith voices over about the nature of change and how it's constant and how we cling to old ways instead of allowing things to be the way they are. How we experience change is up to us: it can feel like death or a second chance at life. Christina says "I do" and she and Owen look like it feels right to them. They kiss.

Music

 * "Midnight Hour" - Reflection Internal: Talib Kweli & Hi-Tek
 * "Undertow" - Timbaland feat The fray & Esthero
 * "Teach You To Fly" - Wiz Khalifa
 * "Thistle & Weeds" - Mumford & Sons
 * "Backed Into The Corner" - Amy Stroup
 * "Stare Into The Sun" - Graffiti6
 * "Salt In The Wound" - Delta Spirit

This episode's title originated from the song , originally sung by Billy Preston & Syreeta.

Quotes

 * Cristina:  [to Owen] I do.


 * Prisoner: [to Derek] Your lady looks pissed.
 * Meredith: [to Derek] Again, Derek?


 * Cristina: Perkins is no dummy. He can see the crazy right under the Meredith Grey surface.
 * Meredith: Again, Cristina, it's not funny, because you're not gonna get cleared either, and the two of us are gonna be surving slushies at the multiplex.
 * Cristina: Really? I'd choose dermatology over multiplex.
 * Jackson: No, I'd go gynecology over dermatology.
 * Cristina: Of course you would. Perv.

Main cast

 * Ellen Pompeo as Dr. Meredith Grey
 * Sandra Oh as Dr. Cristina Yang
 * Justin Chambers as Dr. Alex Karev
 * Chandra Wilson as Dr. Miranda Bailey
 * James Pickens Jr. as Dr. Richard Webber
 * Sara Ramirez as Dr. Calliope 'Callie' Torres
 * Eric Dane as Dr. Mark Sloan
 * Chyler Leigh as Dr. Alexandra 'Lexie' Grey
 * Kevin McKidd as Dr. Owen Hunt
 * Jessica Capshaw as Dr. Arizona Robbins
 * Kim Raver as Dr. Teddy Altman
 * Sarah Drew as Dr. April Kepner
 * Jesse Williams as Dr. Jackson Avery
 * Patrick Dempsey as Dr. Derek Shepherd

Guest stars

 * James Tupper as Dr. Andrew Perkins
 * Jason George as Dr. Ben Warren
 * Debra Mooney as Mrs. Hunt
 * Judy Prescott as Donna Bevell
 * Matthew Fahey as Greg Bevell