I Am a Tree/Grey Matter

Krista Vernoff on blogging and "I Am a Tree"

Original Airdate: 9/28/06

Blogging. I used to think it was all fun and games. I used to think it was just li’l ol’ me happily telling stories to you, our most avid fans. Until this morning. Know what happened this morning? The freaking NEW YORK TIMES QUOTED MY BLOG ON THE COVER OF ARTS AND LEISURE. You think I’m kidding, but I’m not. It was traumatizing. Because you know me (you, our most avid fans). And you know by now that I have a little something called Truth Tourettes. I am an over-sharer. I should join over-sharers anonymous. But my intention here is not to over share with the entire readership of the NY Times, dammit! Okay, rant over. I shall now commence with the over sharing:

I love McSteamy. I loved him when I introduced you to him in “Yesterday” and I love him even more when he’s standing in a towel at the end of this episode. I wrote it. I saw the dailies when it was shot. And still, when I first watched the cut, my jaw dropped with giddy surprise when I saw him emerge from that bathroom. Love me my McSteamy. Maybe cause he reminds me of my husband whose nickname is “Dirty Chops” cause he is just always saying wildly inappropriate and off-color things and I like that in a man. Also, Eric Dane is um…I don’t want to say anything here that the NY Times will quote and my in-laws will read so…I’m leaving it at Eric Dane is um. You can fill in the rest.

Okay, also? I love Izzie in this episode. I love that she bakes like, a gazillion muffins. I love that she’s even functioning enough to put them in pretty baskets and bring them to a bar which may be the most bizarre thing ever. I spent my share of time in bars and I don’t remember there being any muffins. I love what it says that she brings the muffins to the bar. It’s like, this place used to be a part of my life, a part of my routine, and I am clinging desperately to hold on to some vestige of that old life even though it feels over and like nothing will ever be the same again. I love Katie’s performance --- like she hasn’t slept in days. Like baking has replaced sleep and it’s all she can do to move her facial muscles and form words. Cause in my experience that is what it’s like when people you love suddenly die. And I love that she’s not afraid to go there. You just don’t find that many beautiful actresses working in prime time TV willing to spend an entire episode without any make-up – know what I mean?

As for Meredith, my inner single girl is flippin’ jealous. Cause really – did you see that bar scene? With McVet walking in all slo-mo and hot and then McDreamy doing the same damn thing? And all the kissing earlier and the almost kissing and the longing and the confusion? Okay, I don’t covet the confusion. Cause while it all looks sexy and pretty on TV – have you ever been torn between two boys who you super like? I have. And a lot of my friends have. (Maybe. Sort of. I might be lying NY Times, you don’t know – so DON’T QUOTE THIS IN ANY PAPERS CASUE I’LL FREAKIN’ DENY IT!!) And I have to say – it really isn’t ever any fun. The confusion is confusing and the heartbreak that always feels imminent is scary -- so freaking scary the idea that you could make the wrong choice and lose the right man -- even the idea that you might make the right choice and lose the wrong man is upsetting when you really, really like them both. Which Meredith does. And how could she not? Seriously.

And now I need to talk a little bit about Derek finally being a grown up in his marriage and doing the right thing. And I’m not gonna lie to you – I didn’t feel bad for him that Addison drunk-dialed Mark. I think she had every right. I did feel bad for him however when he sat there on the bed acknowledging that ending his marriage was incredibly sad. Cause I think a lot of Derek’s less McDreamy behavior has been about avoiding that moment right there. The moment where you just have to sit – beyond the blame and anger – and just feel the extraordinary sadness that comes when a relationship ends. Anyway, I was proud of him.

Almost as proud as I was of Bailey when she came to talk to Izzie. That woman makes me cry. Bailey. She’s just honest and real and straight forward and good and whole and kind and complicated and I love her. And honestly most of that could describe Chandra Wilson too. She just rocks. She broke my heart when she said “It’s enough muffins.” She broke my heart when she admitted that part of what happened to Denny was her fault.

I wish I could go on and on about every single character in this episode, but I have all sorts of stupid work to do in an attempt to bring you more episodes, so let me just say this: I loved that Cristina stripped for Burke. Because all appearances to the contrary, she really isn’t all that selfish. Well, she isn’t only selfish. (And btw – how amazing is Diahann Carol? I don’t feel qualified to blog about her. So that’s all I’ll say. Just…Holy crap, y’know?) I loved when Burke brought his Mama a scone and just stood around stuttering like George. I loved when George was flirting with the little nurse and I loved that he managed to be enough of a grown up to stop in time. I loved when Callie got busted dancing. I LOVE CALLIE. I LOVE HER. And I LOVED her dancing. Don’t write me any meanness about my Callie cause I won’t read it. Plus I’ll get mad when I do read it after I said I won’t. Callie rocks. And she is, to me, about the sexiest woman I’ve ever seen on TV. Finally, can you guess what my very favorite moment in this episode was? It was when Alex followed Dana Seabury to the ladies room. Freakin’ funny. Seriously, Justin Chambers doesn’t get enough credit out there in the world, I think. He’s brilliant. (Quote THAT, NY Times!)

Finally, I have to take a moment to write to you about Benjamin. Oh my God, he broke my heart. (And not just because the actor who played him, the brilliant and multi-talented Peter Paige has been one of my very best friends for the last 20 years.) When they had to shock his heart on the table, I burst into tears. (and not just cause I’m four months pregnant and everything makes me cry and it almost killed me to see my Peter looking like he was maybe dying.) I love Benjamin because he makes me laugh. And he really made me think, just like he made Meredith think, about how much we should really run around all day controlling every impulse we have in favor of being “polite.” I mean, life is short, people die – and if your hair conditioner isn’t working, don’t you want some to tell you?? I know that my Peter Paige tells me, which is why he’s my best friend.

Finally, I’m going to take this opportunity for a moment of unadulterated self-promotion. A play I wrote, “Me, My Guitar and Don Henley” is opening in New York on October 7th in a tiny little theatre in the East Village. If you are an East Coast dwelling theatre-goer and you like my episodes of Grey’s Anatomy and you like my rambling and over-sharing on this here blog, I think you will like my play, which is, coincidentally, directed by Peter Paige and includes a large amount of over-sharing. If you don’t like my rambling and over sharing? Like, if you’re about to write to me and go, “Stupid Krista! Why do you think we CARE about you and your stupid life? GEEEEEZ – we wanna hear more about Meredith cause you’re stupid, you stupid dummy” – then, um, you probably shouldn’t come see my play. But if you do want to see it, here’s the link [LINK UNAVAILABLE SINCE POSTING]. * (rumor has it the NY Times is going to the play too – these people will seriously NOT leave me alone!! Sheesh. …Just kidding. I love you NY Times. I love you and I love your reviewers. Really. Swear. )

And by the way, Thanks. Thanks for following us to Thursday nights, Thanks for loving our show as much as we do. It means the world to us.