Suicide is Painless

"Dying isn’t easy. The body was designed to stay alive; thick skull, strong heart, keen senses. When the body starts to fail, medicine takes over. Surgeons are arrogant enough to think there's no one they can’t save. Like I said dying isn’t easy. Living is better than dying... until it's not. But even if letting a person die is the right thing to do, it's not what surgeons are built for. We are arrogant and competitive. We don’t like to lose and death feels like a loss even when we know it’s not. We know it’s time. We know it’s right. We know we did everything we could. It is hard to shake that feeling that you could've done more."

- Owen Hunt

 is the eighteenth episode of the sixth season and the 120th overall episode of Grey's Anatomy.

Short Summary
When Teddy's patient seeks to end treatment and her life, she turns to Hunt for help. The situation triggers Hunt's memories of his life at war and his past relationship with Teddy. Meanwhile, Callie and Arizona have a difference in opinion on what their future holds, and Richard tries to adjust to his role as a surgeon.

Full Summary
Hunt was up in the middle of the night and he was doing the voiceover, telling us about how surgeons are arrogant and think they can save anyone from dying. That day at the hospital, Teddy told him about a cancer patient of hers who'd decided, "Today's the day." Teddy told Hunt the patient wanted them to help her die. There needed to be two doctors to approve it.

For Hunt to sign off on physician-assisted suicide, she had to orally request it from him (having already asked Teddy). The woman's husband didn't seem terribly comfortable with the whole thing, and neither did Hunt. He walked out. The woman asked how long it would take to die after she took the medication, and Teddy told her it would be 45 minutes.

Sloan was sharing with Callie and Arizona how much he'd learned about Teddy by spending three dates with her and having no sex. Arizona left and Callie told Sloan about how Arizona doesn't want kids. Callie does. Sloan said she had to tell her.

Meredith interrupted a meeting Derek was in to tell him about how "Shadow Shepherd" (apparently the brain surgeon who's taken Derek's place) was going to let her scrub in and maybe let her remove the tumor. Derek was less than impressed and went back to his meeting.

Charles got caught checking out a paramedic's (Nicole) behind.

Teddy and Hunt argued about the cancer patient because Hunt thought Teddy was killing her. She said she'd find another doctor. Owen had a pleasant flashback to playing soccer in the desert with Teddy and them running off to treat some patients. The flashback continued as Hunt played Dr. McGyver in the field and treated injured soldiers alongside Teddy. A sandstorm was coming so they had to evacuate.

The cancer patient pressed her husband to tell her how he was feeling about her decision. He didn't, but went home to get wine (she wanted it) and other items. She told Cristina, who was now in the room with her, that men may not know what they're feeling.

Meredith was going over the scans with "Shadow Shepherd" and April came in and took them, saying Derek had decided to do the surgery himself. Meredith was not happy with this development.

Hunt's flashback continued and his ambulance was hit by a roadside bomb while he and another doctor were transporting some patients. His superior was also badly injured. Hunt started grilling Cristina about the cancer patient.

Sloan and Callie were treating another patient (a guy who'd hurt himself in an avalanche while heliskiing) when the guy's friend showed Sloan a picture of his daughter dressed as a ladybug for Halloween. Sloan teased Callie about wanting "one of those." She smiled.

Meredith was upset with Derek for stealing her surgery. He didn't want her to scrub in with him, either, for fear of appearing like he was playing favorites. Meredith shouted to anyone who would listen, including Webber, "He stole my surgery!" Derek assured Webber that everything was alright. Webber invited Derek to have lunch with him in the cafeteria, but Derek said he couldn't eat lunch in the cafeteria because the "vultures" would come after him. He said everyone always seems to need something from him now that he's the chief. Webber smirked as Derek walked away with Hunt, who asked to speak with him.

At lunch, Sloan encouraged Callie to tell Arizona about the kid thing, but she didn't. Webber came by to sit down, but he went to another table when no one made room for him. Teddy showed up and yelled at Hunt for going to Derek about her cancer patient. "What the hell is your problem?" she asked him. He said nothing and walked away.

Sloan found Webber, who was eating alone in a meeting room, and told him about Teddy's outburst. Webber was sad that no one wanted to talk to him at lunch, but Sloan told him he's still "like a coach," and that it's a sign of respect. "It would be wrong to take it any other way," he told him.

Teddy went back to the patient and started doing another test (the one Hunt wanted). When the woman's husband demanded to know why the test was being done, Cristina finally jumped in and said, "This test is unnecessary and the hospital is just covering its ass." Teddy thanked her.

Webber was in surgery and trying to be one of the guys when a nurse walked away and he told Alex and Avery, "If I wasn't happily married, I'd hit her. I'd hit her hard." After some awkward silence, Alex corrected him and told him what he wanted to say was, "I'd hit that." But Bailey jumped in and said, "I don't think you wanted to say that at all." More awkward silence followed.

Meredith was still upset about her surgery being stolen by Derek when Avery told her to be like one of the "Whos" in "Whoville," which sang on Christmas morning even after the grinch had stolen their presents. He told her to go in and sing in the surgery that she was going to do.

Owen flashed back to the desert again, where he was still trying to save his superior when he noticed blood squirting from the man's neck.

Back at the hospital, Derek told Hunt that Sloan signed off on the physician-assisted suicide after the last test determined nothing more could be done. Hunt went into one of his Hunt episodes and started muttering, "They're not going to kill him. I won't let you kill him." Derek told Hunt the patient is a female and that he should go home.

Flashing back to the desert, night had fallen as Hunt kept trying to keep his partner alive. The guy wasn't feeling too good about his chances and asked Hunt to say a Hail Mary with him. He then decided he wanted to die, and ordered Hunt to move his hand, which was applying pressure on the neck wound. Hunt refused.

Back in the hospital, Callie was talking to the friend of the helicopter skier and learned that he doesn't like all the action-adventure trips he goes on with his friends. He just sucks it up and goes to be a part of the team. Callie thought about her and Arizona.

Teddy wrote her cancer patient the prescription for the barbiturates that would kill her, but Hunt walked in and asked the woman whether it was worth risking her life when there's a chance they'd find a cure. Teddy said she was going to call security. The woman's husband wanted to hear her answer. She responded that at a certain point, death is no longer scary and hope is more frightening because hanging on to it just makes her feel alone. "I don't want to die alone," she said.

She looked at Hunt and said, "I am not afraid of this -- why are you?"

Later, Hunt sat outside alone when the woman's husband came over to him and was holding in his hands "the pills that are going to kill my wife."

Hunt told him there would be a moment when she dies and all the pain she was in will be gone, "and there will be relief." He said he'd know "what absolute certainty" that he did the right thing. -- "just for a moment."

Back in the desert, Owen's commanding officer told him he had to let go and Hunt finally did, reluctantly. Within a few seconds, he bled out and died.

Back in front of the hospital, Hunt told the man to hold on that to that moment, "because all the rest of it is just your own garbage."

Callie broke the news to the non-adventurous guy's friends that he didn't even like going on their trips -- their next adventure was the running of the bulls in Pamplona, Spain. They all began to realize that they didn't really like the trip, either. The helicopter skier guy said, "I can't believe you guys. I almost die jumping out of a helicopter, and what I really wanted to do was go wine tasting in Napa." They all decided to go to Napa next.

Webber met with Derek later that night and said he knew Derek stole Meredith's surgery because he was jealous and missed the thrill of surgery. Webber told him to schedule himself one surgery a day, in the morning, to start the day right. He also gave him a tip about eating in the cafeteria: Never eat alone. He told him to eat with someone else, "that way, they're more likely to leave you alone." Then he offered to eat with him.

Hunt's voiceover told us that living is better than dying -- until it's not.

The cancer patient took her medicine and she smiled at her husband, who told her he was scared. She pulled him close and they laid together on her bed.

Derek went home and apologized to Meredith, but she smiled and said she wasn't mad -- she was "in Whoville."

Callie went home and talked with Arizona, who thought Callie was breaking up with her. Callie revealed that she wanted to have a baby "at some point in my life." Arizona let go of Callie's hands.

Teddy showed up at Sloan's place. She said, "I helped my patient die today," and Sloan asked her if she wanted to talk about it.

"No," she said, and they got it on.

Hunt laid in bed, unable to sleep, reliving the moment he let his officer die and moments later a helicopter arrived with Teddy inside. He got up and did push-ups in the middle of the night. Cristina came out and asked if he was OK. He wouldn't tell her what he was thinking, and she went back to bed.

Main Cast

 * Ellen Pompeo as Dr. Meredith Grey
 * Sandra Oh as Dr. Cristina Yang
 * Katherine Heigl as Dr. Izzie Stevens (credit only)
 * Justin Chambers as Dr. Alex Karev
 * Chandra Wilson as Dr. Miranda Bailey
 * James Pickens Jr. as Dr. Richard Webber
 * Sara Ramírez as Dr. Callie Torres
 * Eric Dane as Dr. Mark Sloan
 * Chyler Leigh as Dr. Lexie Grey
 * Kevin McKidd as Dr. Owen Hunt
 * Jessica Capshaw as Dr. Arizona Robbins
 * Patrick Dempsey as Dr. Derek Shepherd

Guest stars

 * Kim Raver as Dr. Teddy Altman
 * Richard T. Jones as Captain Dan
 * Sara Gilbert as Kim Allen
 * Robert Baker as Dr. Charles Percy
 * Sarah Drew as Dr. April Kepner
 * Jesse Williams as Dr. Jackson Avery
 * Derek Cecil as Sean Allen
 * Lance Barber as Phil
 * Zachary Knower as Nick Kelsey
 * Adam Kulbersh as Tommy

Co-Starring

 * Phil Abrams as Dr. Jim Nelson
 * Moe Irvin as Nurse Tyler
 * Nicole Cummins as Paramedic Nicole
 * Aaron Perilo as Peter Gekofsky
 * Kinsey McLean as Billy Linneman
 * Seth McLaughlin as Corporal Burnett
 * Tristen MacDonald as Sgt. Rebecca Cohen

Notes and Trivia
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 * This episode's title originated from the song Suicide is Painless, originally sung by Johnny Mandel.
 * This episode scored 11.57 million viewers.
 * This episode focuses heavily on Owen and his time in Iraq.
 * This episode marks the last one in which Katherine Heigl is credited, although she didn't appear in it.

Quotes

 * Richard: If I wasn't happily married - I'd hit her, I'd hit her hard.
 * Alex: Sir, I think you wanted to say is - I'd hit that.
 * Miranda: I don't think you wanted to say that - at all.