Deterioration of the Fight or Flight Response/Grey Matter

From Joan Rater, one of the writers of "Deterioration of the Fight or Flight Response" (hour 1 of the 2 hour finale)

Original Airdate: May 15, 2006 (Note: The second hour of the two hour finale, titled "Losing My Religion," was written by Shonda, and she will be sharing her thoughts on that one herself in a bit...)

I know, I know, I KNOW!!!!!! Denny's dead and it sucks. More than sucks. Blows. Feels awful and empty and seriously, why couldn't Denny have lived?

Well, if you'd been hanging around the Writer's Room in March you would have heard the writers asking that very question, day after day. Does Denny really have to die? There was one particular day when most of the writers had decided that Denny couldn't die. He had to live. Seriously. Why not? And when Shonda came into the Writer's Room and Krista said, "Does Denny have to die?", I think Shonda's head almost exploded because it was about the 12th person that day who had asked the very same question. And here's the thing. The person who wanted Denny to live the MOST is Shonda. We all love Denny because he's so charming and Denny-ish and the actor is even more charming and Jeffrey-ish, but let me tell you there was no one more tortured and torn up about it than Shonda. So you say to yourself, okay, you're the writers, you could have saved him if you wanted to. But we couldn't. Denny had to die. And not for plot reasons or anything like that, it's just ... it's hard to explain. As bad as it felt, it also felt right. “Right” is so the wrong word, but it felt inevitable. But since Denny didn't die until hour two, and Tony and I wrote hour one, I'll leave it to Shonda to talk more about Denny ...

What I really want to talk about is you guys. The fans. I mean, we all know it was one hell of an emotional roller coaster, these last three episodes. And a lot of things are still up in the air … Mer/Der/Finn in particular. I watched last night with my nieces and nephew who literally were begging me for something, anything about next season. I so wanted to tell them that no matter what happens with Izzie, or who Meredith picks, it's all going to be alright (I'm a mother, I have 2 kids, so I'm inclined to want to make it all better and for there to be band-aids put on skinned knees and happy endings at the end of stories). But before I became a mother, I was a single woman living in New York City through most of my twenties. And I know from experience that before the happy ending there's a lot of bad choices, bad luck, one night stands and tequila. Not to mention amazing, magical times that make all those bad choices and one night stands worth it. Your twenties are when you figure out who you are, and what matters to you. You're forming friendships that will sustain you. You're making plans. Looking for your soulmate. Wondering if there is such a thing as a soulmate. These interns are struggling with all that while learning to be surgeons. I started this paragraph saying I wanted to talk about you guys, the fans, and I ended up talking about myself (something Tony says I do a lot). I guess it's because when I read your comments, I can relate. I might not agree, but I usually get and appreciate how you feel and where you're coming from, even if it's an angry rant about how dare we kill Denny. Seriously, you guys, we feel it too. All we're trying to do is do right by these characters, and write stuff we'd want to watch.

So I’ll leave you with what I told my nieces and nephew last night about next season: It’s gonna be great. You’ll laugh … and cry … and hate our characters one minute … and love them the next. And throw things at your TV.

And we'll keep doing our best to bring you stories about the messiness of being human.