Make Me Lose Control

"Surgeons are control freaks. With a scalpel in your hand, you feel unstoppable. There's no fear, there's no pain. You're ten-feet tall and bulletproof. And then you leave the OR. And all that perfection, all that beautiful control, just falls to crap. No one likes to lose control, but as a surgeon there's nothing worse. It's a sign of weakness, of not being up to the task. And still there are times when it just gets away from you. When the world stops spinning and you realize that your shiny little scalpel isn't gonna save you. No matter how hard you fight it, you fall. And it's scary as hell. Except, if there's an upside to free-falling, it's the chance you give your friends to catch you."

- Meredith Grey

 is the third episode of the second season and the 12th overall episode of Grey's Anatomy.

Short Summary
Secrets are let loose as Meredith's mother is admitted to Seattle Grace and Cristina's pregnancy becomes public when she collapses in the OR.

Full Summary
Meredith and Cristina are jogging. Meredith is very energized, but Cristina looks a little burned out. She says, "Oh, you're stupid. Oh God. You're a stupid evil sadist", to Meredith. Meredith says that endorphins are good that they elevate your mood. Cristina stops running and Meredith starts running circles around her. Meredith calls herself stupid and Cristina says, "Slutty mistress." Meredith comes back with "pregnant whore". Cristina sarcastically says, "Sleeping with our bosses was a great idea." Meredith stops running, exhausted, says, "You know what's ruined for me? Ferry boats. I used to love ferry boats. And Derek's got a thing for ferry boats. Now every time I see a freaking ferry boat --". Cristina jumps in, "You know what's ruined for me? Coronary artery bypass graphs AND aortic aneurysms." They both collapse to the ground and lie down.

Meredith asks if Cristina cried yet. Cristina is almost insulted and says "Hello?" look who you're talking to. Cristina asks if they'd feel better if they cried. Meredith says probably.

Cristina asks if they should cry now. Meredith says no. Cristina says, "Okay let's jog."

George, Cristina, and Meredith are watching Alex and Izzie be friendly towards each other. They're laughing and seem to be enjoying each other's company. Cristina wonders what she's doing. George says, "She's hanging out with Alex...I think they might be friends. [whispers] Make the lambs stop screaming." George, Cristina, and Meredith all look at each other very confused at Izzie's actions.

Izzie is defending Alex to Meredith, Cristina, and George saying that once a person gets to know him, he's really sweet. Geroge and Cristina both insult Alex. A little ahead are Bailey and Alex. Alex turns around and asks Meredith about her mother's surgery tapes. Izzie suggests he come over to the house and they can all watch it together. Meredith says, "Oh yeah, if this were a hell dimension." Cristina and George share the same sentiments. George cuts in front of Izzie and asks, "Do you have a thing for Alex?" Izzie denies it and no one believes her. Bailey says, "Are we saving lives or are we having a tea party?" Alex looks smug.

Derek is in the elevator when Chief walks in wearing a leather derby hat to cover his bandage from surgery. Derek says, "Nice hat." Richard tells him to shut up. Chief says that he's going back to work. Derek says he's not cleared for surgery. Richard says, "Leave me alone. I've been sitting home for a week watching Oprah give away things on TV. OPRAH, Derek." Derek looks amused. Richard tells Derek to clear him for surgery or he is going to hurt him. Derek says, "Maybe you should have thought of that before you gave chief to Burke and invited Satan to Seattle." Right when he says this, Addison comes into the elevator from the back doors and tells them good morning. She says she likes Richard's hat. Richard looks at Derek as if to say 'see, this hat is sharp'. Derek says, "Satan speaks." Addison says, "Actually, I prefer to be called 'Ruler of all that is Evil' but I will answer to Satan." Richard laughs. Derek asks what she's still doing there. Richard asked her to stay because a pediatric attending is on maternity leave. Addison says she needs a consult from Derek for one of her cases. Derek agrees and Addison leaves the elevator. Derek tells Richard he won't clear him for surgery. Richard says he'll catch up on his paperwork then. Derek chuckles.

Cristina presents Mr. Geston to Burke. He is scheduled for a resection non small cell carcinoma. Burke and Cristina act very professional to each other.

Cristina and Meredith are walking a few paces behind Bailey. Meredith tells Cristina that she should tell Burke about the baby because he should at least have the responsibility of paying. Cristina says, "No...once this prengancy is taken care of Burke won't even be a blip on my radar. He'll be smudge." Meredith says, "Right". Cristina says, "Leave the sarcasm up to me. Really. It doesn't suit you." Derek walks past and he and Meredith exchange a look with one another.

Alex presents 23 year old Kelly Roche to Bailey and the rest of the interns. She is there for treatment (ETS) on ereuthrophobia hyperpyrexia - excessive blushing. Bailey asks if she has any questions. As she starts talking about Derek she starts blushing profusely. She says he was very helpful and gave her things to read on the procedure they will perform on her. Alex tells her not to worry about blushing because "half the patients that come through here have the hots for Shepherd." Bailey says, "Dr. Karev." The other women interns look at each other.

Izzie asks Alex why he acts like an ass when there are other people around, that he's different when they're alone together. They already hate him and he's not helping the situation. Alex says, "So." Bailey tells them there's a surgical case coming from the pit. It could be diverticulitis. They hurry after her.

Meredith falls behind the others as they rush to the elevators. A woman is on a gurney yelling and calling them all amateurs. She is asking for the chief. Cristina looks at the chart says, "Patient's name..." and then trails off. Meredith looks taken aback. It is Ellis, her mother. Cristina mentions that she suffers from alzheimer's. Bailey asks for her name. Cristina is very reluctant to say it. They push her in Meredith's direction. Ellis yells, "What the hell are you doing here? ... How many times have I told you not to bother me when I'm at work!" Meredith walks away. Cristina tells Bailey that it's Ellis Grey. George looks concerned for Meredith. Meredith is hiding around the corner. Ellis continues to shout and call everyone amateurs.

All the interns are worried about Meredith and are trying to talk to her from the hallway. Meredith is in the locker room. Bailey tells them all to stop talking. She puts her hand on George's mouth to shut him up. She tells Alex to take care of Kelly and not use her blushing as a toy to play with. Alex leaves. Cristina trying to be sympathetic says, "Hey, Meredith, you know um my great grandmother she died with Alzheimer's." Izzie says, "My God, why would you say that?" Cristina was just trying to help. Bailey sends Izzie to go to Derek and Addison who need help with a case. Izzie is reluctant to go because they are two married people who hate each other and she'll be alone with them. Izzie leaves. Bailey tells Cristina to go with Burke for the thorcotomy with Mr. Geston. Cristina asks if she can have the married couple instead. Bailey says "I thought I was your resident not your hostess. I assign, you take... Is there some reason why it's inconvenient for you to spend the day in the O.R. learning from Dr. Burke?" Cristina says she's very happy to work with him, thanks Bailey, and leaves. Bailey tells George to take care of "Dr. Grey". George thinks she's talking about Meredith. He says, "Yes. Thank you" and hugs Bailey. He starts to go into the locker room. Bailey stops him. George says, "Oh. You mean Ellis. The mother." He leaves. Bailey comes in and goes to Meredith. She asks if Meredith will be able to work. Meredith enthusiastically says "Yes" and that she's fine, that it would be better if she was working. Bailey assigns her to "scut": to do chart work, run things to and from the lab. Meredith insists that she's fine. Bailey is just anticipating a certain level of distraction from her. Meredith leaves unenthusiastically.

Izzie, Derek, and Addison are with a premature baby girl whose mother delivered the baby and then took off. Derek is going over her chart. There are many things wrong with the baby. Addison says, "I know she's a long shot." Derek says that there's no way the baby will survive spinal surgery. Addison remains optimistic. Derek talks about the kind of life the baby would have, how many health problems she would have. Addison says, "You're not God...honey." Derek asks, "Did you just call me honey? Don't call me honey." Izzie makes a face like she is very uncomfortable being in the middle of all this. Then they start talking about responsibility and oaths. Addison says she messed up, that people mess up. Derek says, "You slept with my best friend on my favorite sheets." Addison says, "The flannel sheets? You hate the flannel sheets." Derek says he loves them. Then Addison says, "You like the Italian sheets with the paisleys." Izzie interrupts and says, "I'm sorry I'm just gonna go. I'll go check on the labs." Derek and Addison look at one another. Derek tells Addison not to do this. Addison says the baby is a fighter. Derek tells her not to get attached or involved and not to make the baby's life more painful than it already is. Addison pleads with him, "Please. She has no one to fight for her." Derek says she's too far gone and to let her go in peace. This whole conversation is a parallel to their relationship and marriage. Derek leaves and Addison looks sad and says, "Fine, Derek. Walk away. [more quietly] It's what you do best."

Burke is packing up his things because Richard is back. Burke is fishing for compliments from him. Richard tells him he did a good job but says that now he is back and not going anywhere anytime soon. Burke says he's just hiding his joy at Richard's return deep inside. Before Burke leaves with his things he says, "The hat, it's a little pimped out." Richard takes the hat off. Meredith comes in and welcomes him back. She tells him that Ellis was admitted to the hospital. Richard looks at her chart. Meredith sighs and apologizes to Richard for not telling him Ellis' condition sooner. She tells him that Ellis has been reliving her residency. Meredith thinks Ellis would appreciate it if he went to visit her. He says he will. He asks if Meredith needs a day off. Meredith says she's fine and leaves.

Ellis is giving George a hard time examining her. She calls him "Thatch". George is confused. They both fight over her chart. Ellis wins. He tries to continue the examination. Meredith sees this from the hallway. Ellis says she doesn't want to play doctor now. Meredith calls George. Ellis shouts, "Thatch! I mean it! No!" George goes to the doorway to speak to Meredith. She tells him that Ellis is allergic to penicillin and that he needs to be patient with her. George asks who Thatch is. Meredith tells him it's her dad, Thatcher. She asks if she's talking about him because she never talks about him. George says yes but leaves out that she was calling him Thatch. George asks if she's doing all right. Merediths says she's good and then says, "I can't be here" and leans against the wall as George goes back in. She peaks into the room one more time.

Standing outside her mother's room, Meredith sees Derek putting a chart back. She goes to him. He says he heard about her mother. She says, "Yeah, secret's out." She addresses him as Dr. Shepherd. He says she doesn't have to call him that. She says, "Dr. Shepherd, I want in on a surgical case. I can't just do nothing all day. And you owe me this. And I never ask you for anything like this so..." Derek looks sympathetic and says she can scrub in on Kelly's ETS.

Cristina has just scrubbed in and comes into the O.R. late. Burke is upset and she apologizes. He is operating on Mr. Geston. Cristina is a few paces behind Burke observing with another group of doctors. She rubs her shoulders, she looks like she is in pain.

Alex is examining Kelly when Derek and Meredith come in. Her face turns crimson because of Derek's presence. She is extremely embarassed and tries to calm herself down. Derek says, "This might be the last time that that ever happens." He asks Alex about her labs, they turned out well. Derek asks if she's ready. Yes, she has been ready since the third grade. Derek asks if she read about the side effects. She is very knowledgable on the subject and able to name off everything using their medical terms. Derek and Meredith look at each other amused. Derek leaves to alert the O.R. they are coming. Alex asks if Kelly knows what all of the words meant and explains all of them; that maybe she should be more worried than she is acting. Meredith asks if she is sure she wants to go through with the procedure, that there's a lot of risk just to get rid of "a little bit of blushing". Kelly says, "Is that what you think this is? A little bit of blushing? Just a school girl embarassment? You both saw what happened when Dr. Shepherd [starts turning red] was here. What did you think?" Alex says he thinks she likes Derek. Kelly continues, "I do but do you think I want a room full of doctors to know about it? ... It's not just this once. It happens every time I have a feeling for anyone in my life." Meredith empathizes with her. Kelly says, "I can't get mad. I can't be happy. I can't feel anything without the whole world knowing. I can't have a secret. Can you imagine living that way your entire life?"

There is the sound of glass crashing to the floor. Ellis throws her pillows at George and commands him to get out. Alex and Meredith come running. Ellis yells this for everyone to hear: "Don't give me that look, that sad little soulful little puppy routine. I know it by heart, THATCH! And I'm over it. I don't want to hear about your day or your students for your pathetic little research grants. My work is what counts! It's what pays for this house! It pays for you and it pays for Meredith and for your precious lifestyle! So why don't you just leave me alone and let me do it! Meredith may think she needs you but I sure as hell don't." Meredith walks away.

Meredith comes in to get away from her mother's shouting. Kelly asks if Meredith is okay. Meredith sighs and says, "That's something I'm supposed to be asking you."

George is running back and forth looking for something/someone. Chief, wearing a new hat, calls his name and tells George to keep him informed of Ellis and to take good care of her. George asks if Richard could help examine Ellis. Chief looks awkward and makes the excuse that he is busy. George says, "It's just that she seems to think that I'm her ex-husband and she won't let me touch her." Richard says, "It's funny. You do look a bit like Thatcher." George looks unhappy and says, "I look like Meredith's dad?" Richard kind of leaves George hanging and tells him to take good care of her. Chief walks away. Poor George says he needs help.

Izzie is going down stairs, answering a page when Alex comes from behind her. He sees an eyelash on her face, gently picks it up, and tells her to make a wish. A nurse comes up the stairs. Alex tells her there's a patient that is particularly smelly, she should do something about it before he rots. Izzie walks ahead and enters a hallway, Alex still holding the eyelash. She says, "See that is exactly what I'm talking about. [George comes into the scene] Why are you so afraid of showing other people that you're a decent human being?" Then George says, "Remember when he wallpapered the hospital with pictures of you in your underwear?" Izzie disappointed says, "Yeah, yeah I do." Alex defends himself and says it was before he really knew her. He sarcastically thanks George. George asks Alex to help him with Ellis. Alex says, "Oh, a standard exam. You did go to med school right?" George mentions how Ellis thinks he is her ex-husband.

Ellis is going through papers in a drawer when Alex and George come in. George says her name. She just gets upset at him and calls him Thatcher again. Alex comes in, pats George on the chest and says, "No more interruptions, Thatch, you heard the doctor." Alex introduces himself and compliments Ellis' work. Ellis thinks they are working together and says for them to scrub in. Alex plays along and tells her it's new hospital policy to examine her before surgery. Alex starts to examine her and says to George in a condescending manner, "Why don't you wait outside, Thatcher. I can take it from here."

Addison is with the premature baby. Izzie comes in and says the baby has a good grip, she's holding on to Addison's finger. Izzie gives her the baby's test results and they don't look promising - the antibiotics haven't been working. Addison suggests Izzie get transferred to another case because she's too far gone but adds, she does have a good grip.

Burke is still operating on Mr. Geston. Cristina looks even more uneasy, she is perspiring slightly. Burke sees her and says her last name a few times. Cristina looks dizzy and faint. Burke thinks she is day dreaming and not paying proper attention. She apologizes to him.

Izzie comes in and sits next to Bailey. Bailey asks "Do you have a problem? (Izzie: No) Do you have a mocha latte? (No) Then go away." She asks Bailey for a new assignment, that the baby cannot be operated on. Bailey asks if Izzie knew about Ellis' condition, if Meredith told her. Izzie, a little hurt, says, "No. It's just that, you think you know someone, know who they are. Share a house and make wishes on eyelashes with them. And we don't know each other, none of us. We're just a bunch of interns who work together. There's nothing there."

Cristina spaces out even more. Burke asks her questions regarding the surgery. She has a difficult time answering. He tells her to do her homework. Cristina collapses. Burke is very concerned and tells someone to help her. Izzie and Bailey quickly leave the gallery.

Burke keeps shouting Cristina's name and continues to tell people to help her. Bailey and Izzie come in and say they've got it. Burke is very worried. He keeps asking questions on her condition. They put her on a gurney and take her out of the room. Burke tells Bailey to give him a report once she is stabilized.

Bailey, Izzie, and a few other doctors are transporting Cristina. Bailey gives Izzie instructions on what to do with her. Cristina has an oxygen mask on and tries to talk to Izzie. She pulls the mask off her face and tells Izzie that she's seven weeks pregnant. They go into an elevator and Bailey instructs Izzie to find Addison but to be discrete about it.

Richard and Addison are walking together. Addison says she is going to leave the next morning. Richard does not want her to go. They go into his office. Richard asks about the premature baby. Addison says she is letting her go. She adds, "He calls me Satan, Richard...He wins. I'm leaving in the morning." George knocks on the door, something concerning Ellis.

Izzie is one floor below at the Nurse's station while Richard, Addison, and George are one floor up. George says they found a mass on Ellis' liver. George feels for Meredith who has to deal with alzheimer's and then potentially liver cancer too. They walk down the stairs. Richard tells him they need to do a biopsy before saying it's cancer. Izzie sees them and says she needs Addison. Izzie is reluctant to say why she is needed in front of Chief. She says that Cristina collapsed. George is concerned. Addison wonders why she's needed. Izzie does not say anything and they all understand. George says, "Cristina's pregnant!?!?" Izzie tells him to shut up and asks Addison to come. While they leave Addison tells Richard that this does not change anything, that she's still leaving. Richard rubs his hand on his head. George says, "This is a very bad day."

Derek, Alex, and Meredith are operating on Kelly. Richard comes in and tells Derek to clear him for surgery. Derek says he cannot do it. Richard tells him that this isn't a request. Derek says he just underwent brain surgery, he shouldn't practice medicine. More quietly, Richard says that it is a simple procedure. Derek does not understand what he's missing. Meredith says, "It's for my mother, isn't it? You think she has cancer?" Meredith scrubs out because they need her signature. Derek still doesn't clear Richard.

Meredith asks about her mother's tests. George tells her about the mass they found. She signs the paperwork regarding her mother. Meredith senses something else is wrong with George. She asks, "What aren't you telling me?" George says, "It's Cristina..."

Bailey and Addison are trying to help Cristina. She goes in and out of consciousness. Bailey asks if there's someone they can call. Addison sees that a tube in Cristina's uterus burst and she is bleeding out.

Burke is through with his surgery when he runs into Richard. Burke is in a hurry in search of Crisitna. Richard asks if he can do a needle biopsy. Burke asks if it can wait. Richard is not in the mood for a debate. Richard says, "You'll do it because I asked you to, because I need you to. It's Ellis Grey." Richard walks towards Ellis' room, Burke follows. When they're gone a nurse starts to write Cristina's name on the surgery board.

Addison is operating on Cristina. Izzie asks if Cristina's going to be okay. Addison asks how attached she was to the pregnancy. Izzie doesn't know because Cristina is a private person. Bailey is standing watch over Cristina. Addison says she must have another surgery to get to. Bailey says, "No, I'm fine right here" and strokes Cristina's head.

Derek is washing up and Alex and Meredith come in. She asks Alex if he can take care of Kelly's follow up so she can check on Cristina. Alex starts to ask what is wrong with Cristina when Derek puts his hand on her shoulder. He apologizes. Meredith says, "Don't be sorry. I'm so tired of you being sorry. Just don't do it." Derek addresses Meredith as 'Dr. Grey'. She says, "Dr. Grey? Seriously? Are you concerned about Alex finding out about us? Is that what matters to you? Do you really think he cares? Alex, do you care that I was the intern stupid enough to screw the married attending?" Alex says nope. Derek says, "It's okay." Meredith says, "It's not okay. You have a wife who's not easy to hate, who's annoyingly kind, and painfully smart and currently saving my friends life...Stop talking to me like you're my boyfriend. Stop talking to me at all." Meredith walks out. Alex says, "Du-u-ude, that was rough."

Bailey sees Meredith putting on a surgical mask in the scrub room. She goes and meets her at the door. She asks if Meredith needs something. Meredith says she's going in. Bailey says she's not going in. Meredith says she's going in because she's Cristina's friend. Bailey says, "Exactly. She's lying on the operating table, naked, exposed. She's sedated but she's probably scared out of her mind. And right now she's not a doctor, she's not your friend, she is a patient and she deserves to have all the privacy I can give her. You're not going in there." Meredith says, "We went jogging this morning. I made her go jogging. There's no way that could've [trails off]?" Bailey says, "No, no. It started out this way. Nothing caused it to happen." Meredith says she has to let her in. Bailey says, "You can try but I'd have to take you down. Hey, I may be short but you're pretty tiny. I could do it." Meredith replies, "Right now, just in this moment, I hate you." Bailey says, "Yeah, well, I can take it." They both look inside at Cristina.

Burke is going to perform the needle biopsy. He tells Ellis she'll be back to surgery in no time. Ellis thinks Burke is Richard and is glad to see him. She says, "You beautiful man. That husband of mine has been making me crazy." In the background, George gets a far off look in his face. Richard watches through the blinds of Ellis' room window.

It is pouring rain outside. Derek is looking out. He appears to be very distraught.

Meredith is seated alone in a darkened O.R. gallery. Thinking about everything going on.

Derek is inside with the premature baby girl when Addison walks in. She looks happy to see him there. The baby has gotten stronger since the morning. Derek says, "There's no reason in the world why she should be stronger since this morning" and sits in the rocking char in the corner. Addison says the baby is really beautiful. Derek says if she makes it through the night and gets a little stronger they'll operate on her. Addison is pleased. They both smile at each other. Addison says, "The way I see it we could deal with us in one of three ways. Option one, I could apologize, you could forgive me and come home and we could move on with our lives like adults. Or option 2, I could apologize, you could forgive me, come home but you could still bring it up to use against me whenever we argue." Derek smiles and asks, "Are you trying to be funny?" Addison bends and leans in towards him and says, "Satan has a sense of humor." Derek asks what the third option is. She says, "I don't know what the third option is." She kisses him for several seconds. "I just know I still love you." She leaves the room.

Burke and George are walking with Ellis' biopsy. He is giving him instructions so the results are quick. Burke glances at the board and sees Cristina's name along with "ectopic pregnancy".

Bailey is in a chair next to Cristina's bed. Cristina sounds very weak when she talks. She asks Bailey what happened. Bailey says her left fallopian tube burst and that there was too much damage, so much that Addison couldn't save it.

Meredith and Alex are tending to Kelly. Meredith tells her the surgery was successful and that they're just doing a follow up. Meredith says Dr. Shepherd's name, Kelly smiles a small smile but does not turn red. She tells Meredith to say it again. Kelly says it, "Dr. Shepherd". She feels that she's not blushing. She's so happy. She says his name again. Meredith and Alex look at one another when Meredith says, "I guess it was worth the risk." She and Alex leave the room.

Alex and Meredith walk together and have the following conversation: Alex: I still think it's nuts having major surgery just so people can't tell how you're feeling. Meredith: Really? You do? Alex: Nah, I guess not. You could talk, you know, I mean if you need to. Meredith: I'm fine. Alex: You've said that word so many times today it doesn't even sound like a word anymore. I'm just saying you can talk to me cause, you know, even if I repeat every word you say no one around here likes me. They'll just call me a liar and move on. Meredith: Izzie likes you. (Alex smiles) Meredith: You're blushing. Alex: Shut up (They both smile) Alex: Look, for what it's worth I don't know how you're still on your feet. If I found out my mom might have cancer I'd be under the bar right now. Meredith: You want the ugly truth? Alex: What? You have an ugly truth? I never would've picked you to have an ugly truth. Meredith: I'm more afraid she doesn't have cancer. Alex: Well, liver cancer's fast. Painful but it's fast and they give you morphine. They don't give you morphine for alzheimer's. Meredith: No. They don't. What kind of person wishes their mother had cancer? (They look at each other.)

Richard is visiting Ellis who is asleep. He says, "I know it's hard being the one who's gone. But, man, it isn't easy being the one who's still around."

George and Meredith are at the nurse's station when Izzie goes to them. She asks about Ellis' biopsy results. George says they haven't come yet. Meredith asks how Cristina is doing. Izzie says she'll be in pain for a few days, other than that she'll be okay. Meredith says she was glad Izzie was there for Cristina. Izzie says, "Are you?...It's just a lot of the time you and Cristina are kind of over there and I'm here." Meredith says, "So about Alex..." Izzie says, "I know, I know you guys hate him, fine." George groans in the background. Meredith says, "Yeah we do but I just wanna say that I believe you, that he's different once you get to know him." Izzie smiles. Ellis' test results come. Meredith looks at it, she looks disappointed. She hands the results to George so he can tell Ellis. Meredith starts to walk away and Izzie asks if she is okay. She says, "No, I'm not okay."

George comes in and Ellis is asleep. He wakes her up. She still thinks he is Thatcher and tells him to leave. George says with a convicted voice, "I am Thatcher Grey and I'm your husband. And, uh, I know you don't like me very much but the fact is, I don't always like you very much either. [Ellis looks at him intently] I don't like the way you speak to me. And I REALLY hate the way you speak to Meredith. She deserves better from you." Ellis says she's sorry and adds, "What's wrong with me Thatch?" George tells her the mass on her liver is benign (not harmful).

Meredith is sitting on a bench as Derek walks out of the hospital. He goes to her, stands behind her, says her name. She is crying. She says, "Don't. Please. Please just don't say anything." He says okay. After a few seconds she gets up and faces him. She says with tears in her eyes, "I'm just exhausted. My mother is exhausting. What happened to Crisitna. And you, hating you is the most exhausting." She leans in, holds his face and kisses him. "I don't want to do it anymore." She steps back and walks into the hospital.

&nbsp George is in Ellis' room. She pats the area of the bed next to her. George somewhat reluctantly sits then lies down. Ellis looks very happy and puts her head on his shoulder.

&nbsp Izzie and Alex are in the doorway of a hospital room. Izzie asks, "How can someone be so offensive and yet so charming all at the same time?" She moves closer to him, separated by less than a foot. Alex says, "It's an art form." They both smile and Izzie walks away.

Ellis and George are lying together and she kisses him on the cheek.

Meredith sits down next to Cristina's bed. Then Burke is shown in Mr. Geston's room telling him the result of his surgery. He says, "We went in simply expecting to remove the tumor. Instead, it was a little more complicated...there was a tear in the outer muscle of the heart...You had a broken heart, literally. But now you're going to be fine." Burke is a little choked up, probably because of what happened with Cristina, realizing that perhaps he has a broken heart of his own. He leaves the room.

Burke goes towards Cristina's room then stops in the hallway.

&nbsp Around Cristina's bed are Meredith, Alex, Izzie, and George. They watch her sleep peacefully. Burke puts his hands in his pockets and walks away.

Main Cast

 * Ellen Pompeo as Dr. Meredith Grey
 * Sandra Oh as Dr. Cristina Yang
 * Katherine Heigl as Dr. Izzie Stevens
 * Justin Chambers as Dr. Alex Karev
 * T.R. Knight as Dr. George O'Malley
 * Chandra Wilson as Dr. Miranda Bailey
 * James Pickens, Jr. as Dr. Richard Webber
 * Isaiah Washington as Dr. Preston Burke
 * Patrick Dempsey as Dr. Derek Shepherd

Special Guest Star

 * Kate Walsh as Dr. Addison Montgomery-Shepherd

Guest Starring

 * Angela Goethals as Kelly
 * Kate Burton as Ellis Grey

Co-Starring

 * John O'Brien as Lab Tech
 * Brian Breithaupt as Mr. Gaston

Featuring

 * Linda Klein as Scrub Nurse
 * Noelle McCutchen as Nurse Vivian
 * Jeremy Rabb as Resident #1

Cristina Yang

 * Diagnosis:
 * Doctors:
 * Treatment:

Notes and Trivia

 * This episode's title originated from the song Make Me Lose Control, originally sung by Eric Carmen.
 * This episode scored 18.12 million viewers.
 * Goof: When Addison and Derek are in the room with the premature baby addicted to narcotics, she is listing options for her and Derek's relationship. The chair that Derek is sitting on has a blanket over it and it changes position throughout the scene many times.
 * Goof: The surgery board has a circled 'R' indicating the removal of the right fallopian tube and ovary. In the next scene Bailey explains to Yang they had to remove her left fallopian tube and ovary.

Quotes

 * Derek: Maybe you should've thought of that before you gave chief to Burke and invited Satan to Seattle.
 * Richard: Satan?
 * Addison: Good morning. Richard, like the hat.
 * Derek: Satan speaks.
 * Addison: I prefer to be called ruler of all that is evil. (Richard laughs) But I will answer to Satan.