Idle Hands

"Work keeps our minds active. It keeps us out of trouble. When we're not working, our hands are idle and the Devil will find work for idle hands to do. And when you have an idle mind, well, that's the Devil's playground too. At first, idleness can seem like a welcome distraction. The troublemaking and the fun. Everyone needs some idle time to focus on something other than work. Even if it means focusing on something that's a little bit scary. Stepping back from work is the only way to get perspective. And it's only after we have everything in perspective that we remember where our hands truly belong."

- Meredith Grey

 is the eighteenth episode of the ninth season and the 190th overall episode of Grey's Anatomy.

Short Summary
As the hospital continues to make positive changes under the new management, the doctors begin to realize that owning a hospital comes with its own set of problems and responsibilities. Meanwhile, Meredith worries about the wellbeing of her unborn baby, Callie and Arizona try to get the spark back in their relationship, and Alex gives Jo's new boyfriend a run for his money.

Full Summary
The ER is on the verge of reopening and Hunt is excited about a new, fast X-ray machine that will save a lot of time. Cristina tells him to shut up and thank him for his "new toy," so they make out. Meanwhile, Arizona is bring on a new prosthetic that is equipped with heels. Callie is turned on, but Arizona wants to practice walking on it. Derek is talking to the growing baby in Meredith's belly. They're not sure whether to call "it" "he" or "she." Meredith starts to worry (playfully, we think) about her baby having two heads, three arms and 11 toes.

The next day, the coffee sleeves with the hospital's new name and logo are proudly on display. And the new sign inside features the new name, as well. Meredith is still obsessing about the possible deformities her kid could have, but Cristina is focused on a story about the hospital-owning surgeons in a medical journal. She's soon outraged by seeing that a former fellow medical student, Marcus Cho, at Stanford was published for some innovative surgery.

Alex treats a 12-year-old boy who's getting ready for chemo. The kid, Pablo, flirts with Jo. When Dr. Myers, Jo's boyfriend, comes in Pablo isn't impressed. Pablo undoes his catheter and strategically points it at Myers, pretending it's a mistake. After Jo and Myers leave, Pablo admits to Alex that he did it on purpose, and has more plans for Myers.

Hunt unveils the new ER to the doctors, including the cutting-edge X-ray machine. The interns are excited and want to try it out with Heather even volunteering to have the doctors look for a marble she stuck up her nose when she was 6 and it was never found. Hunt says they can't mess around because real patients are coming, and the first case is on its way victims of an ATV accident.

Bailey is trying to get Jackson's attention for a human genome mapping program, but Jackson insists he's "a doctor today" and says there's no money because it was all sent on the ER.

A 16-year-old girl from the ATV accident is going to be the first patient to have the X-ray machine used on her, but her wounds are too serious and Hunt rolls her off to the ER. The disappointed interns stand around and Heather again suggests they could look for her marble.

Shane comes to the girl's father, Mr. Kramer, and tells him that his daughter wasn't wearing a helmet. The father is upset that she was hit when they stopped for just a moment and she took her helmet off for a picture. He says he's going to kill the other rider.

Bailey goes to Cristina, who is looking for some earth-shattering cardio research. She's tired of the administrative stuff. Dr. Russell overhears this and whisks Cristina off to talk about something interesting. Bailey is left standing there.

Myers comes down looking for whoever paged for a GYN consult. A couple of doctors say they didn't page him. Meredith is checking out a patient in the ER. Hunt and Jackson stand over her, wanting to see if the patient needs to use the "Lodox," the fancy new X-ray machine. Meredith says it won't be needed. Her patient, Madeline, tells Meredith about the pain in her stomach. She's a teacher who hasn't taken a day off in more than 25 years. It looks like gall stones. Madeline talks a lot about the cooking shows she likes to watch on TV.

April is excited about the high-tech patient filing system the hospital now features. Then she goes on to talk about her boyfriend, Matthew, who is a virgin and thinks April is, too. She uses "going to the carnival" as a euphemism. She's torn because she doesn't want to pressure him. Meredith says she enjoys the carnival and goes every chance she gets. Meredith suggests that April is supposed to take Matthew to the carnival, and April walks away frustrated.

Arizona suggests to Callie that "tonight is definitely the night." Bailey comes in to speak to either of them and Callie tells her to leave.

Bailey turns to Meredith, who is in surgery and doesn't want to talk about it. Bailey goes on, anyway. Meredith sees something in her patient she doesn't like. It's not gall stones. It's a hard mass. It's cancer. It's spread to the liver. They try to do more, but it's too close to an artery. They need to close her up.

Derek removes part of the 16-year-old girl's skull to get access to her brain. Derek asks Shane to update her father. He's worried because the man is "kind of a big, angry maniac."

Cristina and Dr. Russell are doing a "lotus valve," which is pretty innovative. She's in awe of Russell's work and can't wait to get in on it. He gives her a chance to place the valve and she excitedly steps in.

Callie comes to the ER and sees that no one has tried the new X-ray machine. April is lamenting it, too, comparing it to a carnival ride that no one is riding. She wonders why God would give it to them if he didn't want anyone to use it. Callie clarifies that God wasn't involved. The board bought it. Myers comes by and asks if one of them paged him.

We next see Alex showing Pablo pictures on his phone of Myers going all over the ER and the cafeteria looking for who paged him.

"The cafeteria?" Pablo says. "What a tool."

They both pause to listen to Dr. Myers getting paged again over the intercom. Alex says he has to get back to work, but Pablo says he has another idea for a prank on Myers.

Meredith tells Madeline about her cancer, and tells her she isn't optimistic about chemo. Some of her students come to visit. She's surprised to see them. They don't like their substitute teacher, saying he "sucks" and ask her if she's coming back soon. She reminds them that "we don't say 'sucks.'"

She looks at Meredith for a moment and tells them, "Of course! I'll be good as new really soon. Isn't that right, Dr. Grey?"

Meredith clears her throat and uneasily says, "Yes, that's right."

Shane tells Mr. Kramer about some potential complications of which he doesn't seem certain with his daughter and the man starts yelling at Shane for not knowing what's going on. He backs Shane up against a wall and pounds it, shouting at him to not tell him anything until he knows what's going on.

Madeline tells Meredith she knows she shouldn't have lied to her kids, but she just couldn't tell them. Meredith suggests there's a way to help prepare them. Madeline is worried and doesn't know what she would say to her students.

"This sucks," she tells Meredith, starting to cry. "We don't say 'sucks,' but this sucks."

Some of the doctors sit around talking about how the X-ray machine isn't being used. Heather says she has a patient with a sprained ankle. There's no need for a full-body scan, but Hunt is interested.

Arizona's exhausted and says her leg hurts, and Callie realizes that they're not going to have sex. Arizona thinks Callie is suggesting that she's a "manipulative bitch." Callie tells Arizona that she's neither, but admits that's just apparently not a very good or patient person, and leaves.

Myers comes to the ER in response to another page. He tells a nurse that he has the patient's name this time, and she invites him to call out for the patient. He calls out that he's looking for "Miss Talia." The goes on to say he's looking for "Miss Jenny Talia." Then, for the home run, says, "I'm here to see Jenny Talia (sounding like genitalia)." Some of the nurses start laughing and Myers figures it out. Pablo and Alex see this and share quick fist bump. Webber calls Alex over and tells him the joke was childish and pathetic.

"'Jenny Talia,'" Webber says. "You need to up your game."

Derek talks to Shane in surgery about fly fishing while he's working on the girl's brain. He told him the story to calm Shane down. Derek says he shared the story because there's a lot to be afraid of, and the only way to deal with it is to stay calm. Derek goes in to remove a hematoma from the girl's brain. He proceeds and some alarming beeps go off, indicating her brain is swelling. Derek calmly asks Shane what they're going to do about it and Shane calmly gives him the right answer.

Cristina is giddy about the procedure she did with Russell and is excited to try Phase 3 of the process. She asks when it's going to happen, and Russell says that's up to her. He needs $12 million to do the research he wants to do. She realizes he's not trying to get her to work with him, he's pitching her. He says it's nice to have someone on the board who gets what he's doing.

Cristina complains to Meredith that the "administrative crap" is getting in the way of her career. Meredith, meanwhile, is suffering through the baby kicking. Meredith asks Cristina to talk to the baby, which calms it down. Bailey and sees Cristina struggling to think of things to say to the baby. Bailey takes over, giving the baby her pitch for the genome mapping project. Meredith tells her to keep going because it's working. Bailey finally hands her proposal to each of them because they're "in charge." Cristina likes the sound of this and says she's going "to crush Marcus Cho" because she's in charge.

Hunt and Jackson are still looking for a chance to use the X-ray machine. Hunt finally tells Heather they're going to "find that marble" and tells everyone else to line up and watch. Heather lays down, but a motorcycle accident victim is coming in and Hunt tells her to get up.

Myers brings a urine sample and places it on the counter next to Bailey. He asks if he should it on her desk instead.

"If you wanna die," she tells him.

He explains that "the memo says that you're in charge of the random drug-test policy." Alex and Webber giggle in the background as Bailey tells Myers, "Whatever drugs you are doing, stop!"

Alex and Webber can't contain themselves any longer and run away laughing. Bailey and Myers both figure out what's happening and Myers takes his urine and leaves.

Callie comes to Bailey and tells her they found funding for her project. Bailey thinks she, too, is getting "punked" like Myers. Callie explains that another department cut its budget. Bailey is happy.

Russell is not. Cristina tells him his budget is being cut and he's enraged. He says he's going to lose at least four doctors, and she explains that he still has her. She's "the best four people you will ever have working for you." She says she'll take patients, assist in surgeries and research. He says he can't possibly do it, but she assures him, "Oh, the board believes you can!"

Callie finds Arizona looking at scans and can tell that Arizona is in pain. She locks the door and offers to help make her leg feel better. She asks Arizona to remove her pants. Callie takes Arizona's prosthetic leg off and massages her residual limb, telling her she's helping her in her capacity as a doctor. Arizona says that feels better and says, "Thank you, Callie."

"Right now I'm Dr. Torres," Callie says.

Meredith brings a "get well" poster board for Madeline from her students. They're at the hospital, but Meredith tells Madeline that she can tells the students she can't see them. Madeline takes the poster and looks at it.

Hunt sets up the motorcycle crash victim on the fancy X-ray machine and conducts the full-body scan in 13 seconds with a bunch of other doctors including Jackson, April and the interns watching. They see several fractures from the single scan, which Leah says would have taken 15 different scans before. Jackson says it's "worth every penny" and Hunt says, "it was worth waiting for," and just happens to turn to April as he says it.

"Yeah," she says to herself.

Derek braces Shane for another chat with Mr. Kramer. Shane goes to him with an update as Derek watches. Mr. Kramer starts to grab Shane and Derek steps in and pushes him away, telling him, "Your daughter is alive. You daughter is alive." Once Mr. Kramer is calmer, Derek gives some more details. The man breaks down, saying, "She always wears a helmet. I make sure." He completely breaks down, sobbing in Derek's chest while Derek puts an arm around him.

Madeline's room full of students complain to her about their new teacher. She gives Meredith a look and decides to talk to the students about what they could to do help Mr. Arnold in case he was going to be their teacher for the rest of the year. One student seems worried and asks if that's going to happen, and Madeline says nothing. Another student starts crying a little. The first student says, "You're not going to come back, are you?"

"What would happen if I didn't?" Madeline asks.

Another students says, "It would suck." Then adds, "Sorry."

She tells him it's OK. "It would suck." Then she asks what else they can do to help the new teacher.

Shane finds Derek and asks him what happened to "cool and calm." Derek says it wouldn't have worked with Mr. Kramer, adding, "Sometimes you've got to shake the hell out of them."

Meredith comes by and Derek asks about the baby. She says it's "quiet now, probably dead." Derek finally tells her to stop worrying about the worst possible things. She says it makes her feel better to be prepared in case bad things happen. She reminds her that they own a hospital full of machines and says, "Let's go find out everything we can."

Alex and Webber laugh about how Myers gave Bailey his pee. Webber says he won't be thrown under the bus if Bailey finds out.

Myers comes to Alex and tells him that was a lot of fun, the pranks. Alex says, "Well, the kid has a little crush on Jo."

"Oh, the kid does," Myers says, wisely and laughing. "Well, you two kids have fun laughing about it later while I'm nailing Jo in the bathroom at the bar."

He walks away and Alex looks angry.

That night, Callie comes to bed and finds Arizona in a red neglige. She asks Callie if she can massage her leg again. Callie starts and Arizona says, "A little higher." And, well, we know how that story ends.

Meredith and Derek get an ultrasound and the baby looks quite normal.

Bailey comes to Jackson and admits she was wrong about him and the board, telling him she's "not going to disappoint" him. She thanks him for the funding.

Cristina has a pile of files and is diving into the cardio research. She asks Hunt if he's going to stay and play with his new toy the X-ray machine. He tells her it isn't a toy, but looks over and sees Leah running a full-body scan on Heather and saying, "I see the marble!" Then Hunt admits, "It is pretty fun."

Meredith and Derek count 10 fingers on the baby, then Meredith adds, "11."

But that's not a finger, Derek says. It's a boy.

Main Cast

 * Ellen Pompeo as Dr. Meredith Grey
 * Sandra Oh as Dr. Cristina Yang
 * Justin Chambers as Dr. Alex Karev
 * Chandra Wilson as Dr. Miranda Bailey
 * James Pickens, Jr. as Dr. Richard Webber
 * Sara Ramírez as Dr. Callie Torres
 * Kevin McKidd as Dr. Owen Hunt
 * Jessica Capshaw as Dr. Arizona Robbins
 * Sarah Drew as Dr. April Kepner
 * Jesse Williams as Dr. Jackson Avery
 * Patrick Dempsey as Dr. Derek Shepherd

Guest Stars

 * Todd Stashwick as Mr. Kramer
 * Camilla Luddington as Dr. Jo Wilson
 * Gaius Charles as Dr. Shane Ross
 * Tina Majorino as Dr. Heather Brooks
 * Tessa Ferrer as Dr. Leah Murphy
 * Dominic Hoffman as Dr. Jeff Russell
 * Charles Michael Davis as Dr. Jason Myers
 * Annette O'Toole as Madeleine Skurski

Co-Starring

 * John O'Brien as Tech
 * Jean Villepique as ER Nurse
 * John Cappon as Paramedic
 * Xander Taylor as Pablo Walker
 * Mackenzie Aladjem as Emma
 * Tanner Buchanan as Lucas
 * Herbie Jackson as Adam

Notes and Trivia

 * This episode's title originated from the song Idle Hands, originally sung by The Gutter Twins.
 * This episode scored 9.39 million viewers.
 * This episode marks Jessica Capshaw's 100th credited episode as Arizona Robbins. However, she had three credited appearances for episodes she didn't actually appear in.
 * Arizona finally allows Callie to touch her residual limb.

Quotes

 * Miranda: Avery's too young, I said. He's too inexperienced, I said, he has no business running this hospital.
 * Jackson: Where are you going with this?
 * Miranda: I was wrong, is where I'm going. You all made a smart decision today. I'm not gonna disappoint you. Thank you! (walks away happily)