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Can't Feel My Face is the second episode of the fifth season and the 61st overall episode of Station 19.

Short Summary[]

Andy and Sullivan's relationship continues to be tested. Meanwhile, Emmett joins Dean and Vic on a mental health call, and Maya does some soul searching

Full Summary[]

Vic and Theo finish having sex. Vic says that was four. She thinks they win. Theo thinks they can do better and starts kissing her again.

On the other side of the wall, Travis and Emmett are also between rounds. Travis hears Vic and Theo going again and tells Emmett they can't let them win. He pulls Emmett back in to start again.

Maya and Carina are making out in their bed when Maya suddenly groans and flops down beside her. Carina is upset that Maya's still angry about Beckett. Maya has fantasized every day about putting her wedding dress back on and storming into McCallister's office again. Carina says she'd get herself demoted back to probie. But that wouldn't be so bad as they could finally talk about babies. Maya pushes Carina back onto the bed and starts kissing her.

On the other side of the wall, Andy lies awake. She texts Jack asking how they're still on their honeymoon almost a year later. She asks to stay with Jack, but Jack says Marsha snores and suggests staying with Dean. Andy clutches the pillow to her head.

Dean is going over his notes for Crisis One when his mother comes in. She's there to watch Pru so he can go to work. Ifeya thinks they are launching the program too soon and they need more training, but he says it needs to be started as soon as possible. Ifeya says he's stubborn and hoped fatherhood would change that. Pru interrupts them when she wakes up and comes out of her room.

Sullivan tells Richard Andy disrespected him at his own station, but Richard questions why he considers it disrespect for her to speak her truth. Sullivan says she literally told him she doesn't respect him. He's upset because he got and stayed sober. Richard tells Sullivan he shouldn't get sober for Andy because them splitting up gives him an excuse to use again. Sullivan thinks it's because he's a grunt, which happened because of the addition. Richard says he can't blame everything on booze. Sullivan says he doesn't have a problem with booze, just drugs. Sullivan knows Richard's going to say that if he drinks, he might forget not to use. Sullivan thinks Andy's going to wake up and realize she was wrong.

As they walk into the station, Carina reminds Maya that they have a rule not to use sex to stop a fight. Maya says she has a rule not to start a fight in the middle of sex. Ben interrupts them and asks if it's Bishop-DeLuca or DeLuca-Bishop. Maya says they haven't decided as Carina says DeLuca-Bishop and Maya says it's DeLuca-Bishop. Ben leaves them to go change and Carina asks to talk later. Maya says she's about to start a 24-hour shift. Carina pulls Maya between the doors and says Maya makes an excuse every time she tries to bring up babies. Maya reminds her that she told her she wasn't sure she wanted children when they got engaged, but that's why they need to talk about it. Maya says she needs time and needs Carina to be okay with it. Carina says she has, but they're not getting any younger. When Maya pulls back, Carina relents and says they'll talk about it later. They say they love each other and Carina leaves.

As they eat noodles for breakfast, Vic tells Travis it was five, but he thinks it was only four. Ben asks what they're talking about and Dean says it's orgasms. Ben asks what about Dean and Kelly, but Dean doesn't want to talk about it at all. Vic says the first year she worked there, Dean and Jack had a competition about who could collect the most panties, so it should be okay for her to talk about how many times her monogamous sexual partner pleasured her last night. They're eating noodles for breakfast because Travis's mom dropped them off. Paul still hasn't come out to her, which surprises Dean. Vic asks when they get their Crisis One vehicle, but he says they're using the aid car and wearing their normal uniforms. Travis says Emmett was up all night studying his "trained civilian" binder. Vic doesn't think that's what he was really doing all night. As they continue eating, Beckett says Sullivan has company. A man hands him an envelope and says he's been served. The team tries to change the subject as he opens the envelope of divorce papers.

Maddox asks Andy about Crisis One, saying it's like they're doing PD's job, but Andy says mental health calls and wellness checks probably never should have been PD's job. And none of them will be actually doing it until they've been properly trained. After he walks away, Andy spots his helmet and learns he cooks it. Theo saw him doing it at a car fire once. Her father hated guys who did that. Andy gets a call from Sullivan, but ignores it.

At the station, Sullivan sits in a bunk alone.

Travis, Vic, and Dean discuss the divorce papers in the gym. They agree it was cold for him to be served while he was working. Their chatter stops when Beckett walks in. Beckett says he just got off the phone with Michael Dixon, who loves the new initiative because PD no longer has to respond to mental health calls. He hopes they get a call today so he can eat his lunch in peace. Just then, they get called out for a wellness check. Travis tries to make smalltalk with Beckett, but it's awkward.

Jack and Sullivan are stocking the temporary engine. Jack's glad it's temporary because he doesn't like the look of it. He tries to talk to Sullivan about Andy, but Sullivan brushes him off, saying their two situations aren't comparable. They get called out for a structure fire.

Vic and Dean meet Emmett at the Chatham Building, where he tells them 911 received 25 hangups from their location in the last 72 hours and the landlord had called in a wellness check. It's a drug-dense area, so PD screened out calls where they didn't feel there was an obvious crisis. Luis comes to the front of the building, surprised to see firefighters. They start to explain Crisis One, but he brushes them off and leads them inside.

As Maya drives the engine to the scene, Ben asks if it smells funny to her. Instead of answering, she asks how he knew he wanted to be a dad. He says he didn't. He fell in love with a woman who had a son, so he was a dad. Then she asks about Joey and he says he fell in love with a woman with a heart so big that she brought home a second son without asking him. So he was 0-2 on choosing.

As they pull up, Helen waves them down. She called the fire in. She was making her kids lunch and heard the boom and then saw smoke. She doesn't know who lives in the house, but says they've been remodeling for months. Maya checks out the scene and reports to Beckett what she's seen. He dismisses her and then gives orders, sending Travis, Jack, and Sullivan into the basement to fight the fire while Ben and Maya go inside the first floor to cut a ventilation hole.

Luis tells them a mother and her grown daughter live in the apartment. No one has come out or gone in for 72 hours. He knocks and calls out to Alysha and Ms. Debbie. When he receives no response, he opens the door and lets the team in. As they enter the apartment, they hear the bedroom door lock. When they call out, Debbie replies, saying he's in the bedroom. Vic notices several photographs of Debbie and Alysha on the wall. Debbie says they need help, but she can't come open the door because she has multiple sclerosis. Alysha won't open the door because she believes they're coming to hurt her and her mother. She's tying sheets together to make a sail so they can sail out the window.

Maya and Ben call out when they enter the house, but receive no response. They quickly find a place to cut the hole and break a nearby window to vent the smoke. Ben says if Bailey had asked him first about Joey, he probably would have said no. But then he would have missed out on everything magic. Maya interrupts his speech by starting the chainsaw.

Travis, Jack, and Sullivan's mouths start tingling as they go to enter the basement. They find the fire and begin dousing it with water. As they work, some aerosol cans nearby start exploding. They look around at the chemicals surrounding them.

Dean wants to force the door open, but Emmett tells him that will escalate the situation, which they don't want to do. Emmett asks Alysha to turn the TV down, but Debbie explains that Alysha says it drowns out the voices. She thinks someone is coming to hurt her. Alysha's trying to keep her mother safe. Based on what she's saying, they believe Alysha is having a psychotic break of some kind and it seems to be the first one as her mother doesn't seem to have seen her this way before. Emmett says his training told him they need to validate her concerns and fears. Vic tries to get Alysha to understand they're not the people she believes are coming after her. Vic asks who the people are. Alysha says they're coming to hurt her and her mother. Dean, Vic, and Emmett debate their options. If they call for a ladder truck, PD will automatically be called, which defeats the purpose of the program.

Travis, Jack, and Sullivan start to feel faint and then collapse one at a time. Sullivan calls out that the other two are down as he starts to feel faint himself.

As Maya cuts the hole, she says she's heard all the arguments about how your heart splits open when you have a kid and you know love like you've never known before, but she never really wanted that. She wants to know how she knows she won't decide to have a kid only not to have that feeling. Ben says you don't. They hear that the other firefighters are down and quickly finish the ventilation hole.

Beckett radios Sullivan for a location on Jack and Travis, but gets no response as Sullivan has fainted.

Theo dumps beans into a pot of water, saying it was his mom's secret to soak them overnight. Andy says that's just how you make beans. Maddox comes in and mistakes their banter for flirting. After he leaves, Andy admits that she hasn't had sex in almost a year. She has a couple numbers she could call, but they're both exes. She tells him she's filed for divorce, but doesn't know when Sullivan will get the papers. Just then, the klaxons sound and they're called to the fire where station 19 already is. Andy turns off the stove and they rush out.

Maya asks if Ben's mouth is tingling as they approach the basement entrance. They enter to find the other three on the floor. They call out to report to Beckett, open the bypass valves, and try to pull the others to safety. However, before they can get out, they both collapse. Sullivan then wakes up and radios out to Beckett.

Vic and Dean debate their next steps. Emmett spots a pill bottle on the table and says they can use it to get Alysha to open the door. They convince Alysha that her mother needs the medication. She agrees to open the door, but says if they come in, she and her mother are going out the window. Vic and Dean make a plan for her to get the door open enough for him to restrain Alysha. The hospital said they could sedate Alysha if they need to. As soon as Alysha opens the door, Dean grabs her and restrains her. She fights him and doesn't want to be restrained. They assure her she's not being arrested. With her mothers help, they get her to agree to be sedated instead of using the restraints.

Sullivan opens Ben's bypass valve then stands him up so he can walk out of the basement. Once they're out, he hands Ben off and then goes back inside.

Station 23 arrives as Ben gets oxygen outside.

Vic and Dean carry Alysha down the stairs.

Sullivan carries Jack and then Travis to safety.

Vic lifts Debbie into a chair and brings her outside as Dean loads Alysha into the aid car.

Sullivan goes back inside and carries Maya out. As they get treated, a teenager starts filming them on his phone. Sullivan sees him and knocks the phone out of his hands, telling him people's tragedies aren't content. He tells the other teenager to get the phone out of his team's faces and chases them both away. In the treatment area, Ben and Jack talk about being high.

Debbie explained that she tried to get Alysha help, but couldn't without insurance. And the neighbors kept calling the cops, but the cops just assumed it was drugs. Emmett apologizes for that and explains what he's trained to do. Debbie says Alysha takes care of her, paying the bills, cooking, and cleaning the apartment. This is the first time she's been like this. She'd struggled for a few months, but the last three days had been the worst. Debbie asks what's going to happen now and Emmett explains that she'll be admitted on a hold and they'll begin treatment and then find a place where she can get more help. Debbie says they can't stay, but Emmett says there's help for her people who can't pay. And they can provide help for Debbie as well. Debbie thanks him for treating her and her daughter like human beings. It's not always the case. She's loaded in an aid car.

As the firefighters who'd been inside get showered and scrubbed down, Beckett tells 23 they're doing an external attack only. Beckett then tells his team they need to go to Grey Sloan. Ben says he won't, because he needs to know he's okay before he sees his wife. Beckett says they can go to Seattle Pres instead. Jack asks if it was some kind of meth lab, but Maya says they've put out meth lab fires before and it wasn't like this. Ben thinks it's K2, synthetic marijuana. He's heard about it from Bailey, because teenagers have been coming in like zombies. Maya says with all that, who wants to bring a kid into this world. Jack asks who's bringing a kid into this world and Maya says no one. Ben says it's terrifying, but that's not a reason not to do something.

Dean says they'll need to account for the need for the ladder. Vic says maybe they should ask dispatch not to send PD every time the ladder goes out. Emmett says Crisis One calls should always bring the bag. Dean starts to fret over logistics, but Vic tells him to take the win for the day. They're changing the world. Dean says Vic has a natural talent for de-escalation. It doesn't come as naturally to him, but Vic and Emmett say it'll come.

Dan and Maddox talk to Andy about Sullivan's reaction to the teenagers. Maddox jokes that he'd get demoted again, but there's nowhere lower for him to go. Andy says Sullivan's a better firefighter than either of them and doesn't have to cook his helmet to look like he's seen action. She tells him about the risk of the residue and cancer, reminding him of her own father.

Jack says Joe's is open again and asks Maya if they should go out for celebratory drinks like they used to. Maya says she's not in charge, but Jack knows that's not true. He gestures to Sullivan and says he could use some friends. Jack's not saying she has to forgive him, but he did pull Maya out of the basement. And he could use some cheering up. Maya says Jack can invite him if he wants. Andy arrives then with the others from 23 for their own checks.

Andy tries to talk to Sullivan, but he's just angry about the papers being served in front of his whole team. She says she didn't mean to, but he doesn't care.

As Carina and Maya get ready for the day, Carina says yesterday she couldn't talk because she was getting ready for a shift and now she can't talk because she's going to go drink at a bar at 8:30 AM. Maya says it's tradition and they haven't done it in a year and a half. Maya says she doesn't think she can do it. It's like ripping your heart out and watching it walk around the world. Carina says it's exactly like that. Carina says she loves Maya and if being married to her means not having kids, she'll accept that because she doesn't want to make Maya do anything she doesn't want to, especially something so important as bringing another life into the world. But she also knows Maya's not scared of anything, so she doesn't believe that Maya doesn't want to have kids because she's scared. Maya says she got demoted and replaced by someone who calls her pretty and her boss is a man who thinks a handlebar mustache makes you a firefighter. She knows she made decisions that got her to that place, but she was on a track. She was on track to make battalion chief by 40 and maybe even become chief of SFD. Carina says she can still do all of that, but Maya thinks she doesn't get it. She's a doctor, an OB. She can do her job and be pregnant. Firefighters who get pregnant have to report it by day one. She wouldn't see the inside of an engine for nine months. She tells Carina that while she was on duty yesterday, she got high on K2 and passed out. And there's no pumping breaks in the middle of a call or breast-milk fridges at a fire station. Carina says there are two wombs in their relationship, but Maya says she'd still be a new mom even if Carina carried. The department would give her parental leave, but she wouldn't get promoted after that. Ben and Dean can become parents and be happy and enjoy the magic and the department congratulates them, but it won't be the same for Maya. Carina tries to table the discussion, but Maya continues that she tried to wrap her brain around it for Carina because Carina got married for Maya. Carina says she didn't get married for Maya. Maya knows that. She takes a deep breath and tells Carina she loves her, but she can't do it. Carina starts to cry and leaves the room.

Ben tries to persuade Dean to add a medical response to Crisis One and the others pick on him for it. Dean reminds him that the department shut down the PRT and Crisis One isn't a success yet. Emmett brings a round of drinks to the table. Sullivan walks in and Andy tries to talk to him, but he says he wants to have a drink with his team. The rest of the team is talking about Sullivan until they notice him approaching. Sullivan then goes to the bar and Jack talks to him again about Andy. Jack also tells him that Andy suggested he call his sponsor because of the drug exposure.

Andy exits the bar out onto the street. As she walks, she meets up with Beckett and rants about Sullivan. Beckett says people feel bad for her, but not him. He doesn't feel anything for her at all.

At the bar, Sullivan orders a scotch.

Andy knows Sullivan must had Beckett because he's so smug.

As the bartender serves his drink, she tells Sullivan she recognizes him as Fire Zaddy from the video and shows a video of himself confronting the teenagers.

Andy asks if Beckett has a girlfriend or is married. He says he's divorced.

Sullivan watches the video.

Andy flirts with Beckett. Then she walks away down the street and looks back at him suggestively.

Sullivan pays for the drink, but leaves without drinking it. He goes outside, but the street is empty and he starts walking away.


Main Cast[]

Guest Stars[]



Alysha and Ms. Debbie[]

Crisis One was called out to do a wellness check at the Chatham Building on Greene Street. They arrived to find the landlord called for a wellness check and 911 had received 25 hangups from the residence in the last 72 hours. The landlord let them into the building and told them a mother and her grown daughter were living there and no one had gone in or out for days. They knocked on the door and made it clear they weren't police before the landlord let them into the apartment. Inside the apartment, they found the daughter and her mother locked in the bedroom. The mother, Ms. Debbie, called out for help, but couldn't get out of bed to unlock the door due to M.S. Her daughter, Alysha, had locked them in and was tying the bedsheets together to make a sail so they could sail out the window. Dean wanted to break the door in to get into the room, but Emmett cautioned against it as it would escalate the situation. Alysha believed someone was coming to hurt them and wanted to keep her mother safe. Emmett told Vic and Dean to validate her fears and concerns, as he was taught in his training. Vic began speaking to Alysha, following Emmett's advice to validate her. She asked Alysha to tell her about the people who were coming. Alysha said they were trying to hurt her and her mom. Emmett finally had the idea to use Debbie's medication as an excuse for Alysha to open the door. She did so reluctantly, and they forced their way into the room and Dean restrained her. They talked to her and tried to explain what they were doing. When she resisted restraint, her mother talked her into allowing them to sedate her instead. Once she was sedated, they carried her and her mother out. They put them into aid cars and explained that Alysha would be admitted for a 72-hour hold and would get the help she needed to stabilize her and start treatment. He also told her they had services available to help Debbie.

Structure Fire[]

The ladder and engine were called to a structure fire at 52 Overland Avenue. They arrived to find a neighbor had called 911 and said she didn't know who lived in the house, but they'd been remodeling for months. Maya assessed that access to the basement was their only flow path, so they'd need ventilation. Beckett sent Maya and Ben in to cut a heat hole through the floor. He also sent Jack, Travis, and Sullivan into the basement to get water on the fire. The house was empty when Maya and Ben entered, so they found a place, broke a window, and began cutting a ventilation hole beneath it. As Jack, Travis, and Sullivan entered the basement, they felt tingling in their faces. They found the fire and began spraying water on it. While they worked, some aerosol cans in the basement began exploding. After some time in the basement, Jack and Travis collapsed. Sullivan radioed out about it and then collapsed himself. Station 23 was called as backup. Once they finished ventilation, Maya and Ben went down to the basement, where they found the other three passed out on the floor. They opened their bypass valves before passing out themselves while trying to drag the others to safety. As they passed out, Sullivan woke up and helped Ben out before going back in and getting Jack, Travis, and finally, Maya, out. Outside, they all received oxygen and then were showered and scrubbed. Beckett ordered that no one else would go inside the building. He had them evacuate downwind neighbors and surround and drown. He then ordered everyone who'd been inside to visit the hospital to be checked out. Once the fire was put out, the firefighters from station 23 also visited the hospital for exams.


Song Performer Scene
"Let Me Know" Kenny Sharp
  • Vic and Theo have sex.
  • Travis and Emmett are competing with them from the next room.
  • Maya vents about Beckett.
  • Carina wants to talk about babies, but Maya kisses her to distract her.
  • Andy can hear Maya and Carina through the room. She texts Jack and asks to stay with him.
"All This Love" Ruby Amanfu
  • Aliasha agrees to take the sedative.
  • Sullivan opens the others' bypass valves and walks Ben out.
  • Vic gives Alysha a shot.
  • As 23 arrives, Ben gets oxygen.
  • They take Alysha out of the bedroom.
  • Sullivan carries the others out one at a time.
  • Alysha and Debbie are taken to the hospital.
  • A teenager comes up and starts filming.
"Hey Rose" Son Little
  • Ben tries to get Dean to include medical in Crisis One.
  • Sullivan enters the bar and Andy asks him to talk, but he says no.
  • Jack tries to talk to Sullivan about Andy and tells him to call his sponsor.
"Mists" David Harks
  • Andy leaves the bar and runs into Beckett on the street.
  • Sullivan orders a Scotch.
  • Andy talks to Beckett about him being captain.
  • Sullivan watches the bartender pour his drink. She recognizes him from the video and shows it to him.
  • Andy asks Beckett if he's involved. He's divorced.
  • Sullivan watches the video.
  • Andy flirts with Beckett.
  • Sullivan pays for the drink, but walks away from it.
  • He goes outside and walks away from the bar.

Notes and Trivia[]

  • This episode scored 4.29 million viewers.


Episode Stills[]


See Also[]

A complete overview of this episode's crew can be found here.