Grey's Anatomy Universe Wiki
Grey's Anatomy Universe Wiki

Deal With It is the third episode of the fifth season and the 79th overall episode of Private Practice.

Short Summary[]

Addison and Jake work with a patient who wants to have a baby even though she doesn't have a uterus. Amelia, back in AA and seemingly back on track, treats a Parkinson's Disease patient who habitually cheats on her husband. Violet, struggling to be a stay-at-home mom, attends a mommy group and finds it's not for her and Cooper receives the surprise of his life.

Full Summary[]

Addison talks about her pretty spectacular sex life to her therapist. She thinks it's maybe so spectacular with Sam because she's in love with him, but she was also in love with Derek and maybe even with Mark for a little while. She thinks it is because Sam is better than her as a person. Her therapist asks if she doesn't think she's a good person. 

Amelia is in AA and she tells the group she woke up with a hangover again this morning. She says this has to be it. She doesn't understand why she can't stay sober for more than 30 days now. This program has given her a life and she has things to lose now. She hates that it's day 1 again. She's humiliated. The group applauds.

Addison is about to examine a patient of Jake's. She hasn't been able to review the case. Jake made Nina believe that she could have a baby, despite what the other doctors said. Dorothy says it's been Nina's dream. Addison takes her chart and sees Nina was born without a uterus. Dorothy says she has ovaries, which is the important part. Addison, however, says you can't carry a baby without a uterus. Nina knows, that's why her "gammy" is gonna give her hers.

Cooper is examining Lucas. Violet thinks something's wrong, but Cooper says there isn't. He's fine, but he's not sure Violet is. Violet says she may be going crazy from being a mother at home all the time, so it's good crazy. Then there's also Pete. She thinks she needs some perspective from other mommies. She wants to go to a mommy group.

Pete and Sheldon are walking down the street. He's talking to Sheldon about how he can't sleep, as he doesn't want to go to a therapist he doesn't know. Pete says one third of all patients who had a quadruple bypass die within 10 years. Sheldon understands he's scared, but Pete says he's just angry because he's done everything to live a healthy life. He also notices Violet thinks he's gonna drop dead any minute. Sheldon says it was scary for her, but it'll return to normal when she feels the family is no longer in crisis.

Charlotte is pouring herself a cup of coffee. Cooper asks to pour him some too, but she ignores him. He apologizes again, although he likes to bring up that it did save the girl's life. Charlotte fills Sam in on what happened. Amelia comes in to grab an orange and Charlotte notices she looks like she had a long night. Amelia walks off as Jake enters. Addison comes in and asks him what he was thinking, promising a girl a uterine transplant. It can't be done. Jake thinks it can be done. It has been done on humans, but not with a long-term success. Sam says someone's gotta be the first. Jake says Nina's the perfect candidate, but Addison thinks she can't think straight since her mother recently passed away. Jake doesn't want to question his patients' motives. Charlotte asks where the uterus will come from. Addison replies from her "gammy" and says it's unnecessary and risky. Nina would be on immunosuppressives for months before they can even start the get her pregnant, and then her body can still reject the uterus and the fetus in it. Cooper and Sam bring up adoption and surrogacy, but Jake says Nina wants to give birth. He just thinks he has to make it happen if he can. They can make huge advances if it works, so they can give it a shot. He asks Addison if she wants to make history.

Amelia is examining Laura Martin, her patient who's suffering from Parkinson's. She increased her dosage because she started jerking in front of a kid from the kindergarten she works at. It seems to be working. Amelia says high doses can have side effects, mainly concerning impulse control. She asks if Laura's had an impulsive behaviors. Laura says her husband is having a check-up with Sam and she guesses he's almost done.

Sam tells Will Martin that his cortisone levels are way up. Will says he's stressed because of his wife's disease. Sam says he also has to take care of himself. Sam also sees something bad in his labs.

Amelia says she can help with any symptoms but she needs to know if she's experiencing side-effects. Will comes in and says Sam just told him he has gonorrhea. He hasn't slept with someone other than her, and asks Laura if she has. Laura turns to Amelia and says she has indeed experienced side effects.

Laura tells Amelia in private that it started with a single dad from a kid in her class. She noticed he was looking at her chest and then they started doing it on top of the magic markers. She swore it wouldn't happen again. Amelia says they can call him and have him treated. Then it happened again with the janitor and the plumber. Laura says this is not her. Will is wonderful and she can't lose him, but she also can't live with the tremors. Amelia says they'll start with an STD panel and an HIV test.

Sam and Amelia are talking about Laura in the kitchen with Sheldon and Charlotte listening. Sheldon thinks it's sad. Amelia hopes the husband understands that the drugs made Laura change her behavior. He can't hold it against her. Charlotte asks if it's the same as not holding a drunk driver responsible after he totals another car. Amelia says that driver chose to get drunk, but Laura didn't chose Parkinson's. Amelia thinks she can save the marriage with deep brain stimulation. That will decrease the symptoms.

Sam asks Addison if she wants to go grab lunch, but she can't. She has an appointment. She's interviewing IVF specialists. Sam was hoping to fool around, but he understands she has to do what she's gotta do. She's excited about it and hasn't talked to him much, but he understands it's her thing. Jake comes in and finds Addison reading up on uteran transplant. Jake wants her on the transplant team. He promises to leave her alone if she's not interested by tomorrow.

Trish welcomes Violet to the mommy group and introduces her to Annette, Lynn, and the children. Lynn is drinking wine as she just stopped breastfeeding, so she's making up for lost time. Lynn says she lets her son sleep in her bed. Violet asks if doesn't interrupt her sex life. The other mommies laugh as it's not on top of their list anymore. Violet says she's a psychiatrist and a writer. They all read the book. Violet says it was difficult to write it. Trish thinks it's smart she wrote it to help with the preschool applications, but Violet says Lucas is only 2. The other moms seem to think that's not too early at all. Trish gets asked about her son biting a cousin, but she says they made up. Lynn says biting is a phase, but Violet says it isn't when the kid is five. Most kids outgrow that by the time they're three, so it can be a way for Leo relieve stress or ask for attention. The moms leave to go get snacks for the kids and tell Violet to wait in the living room.

The men enters Jake's office as he's setting it up. He gives the men bottles of booze to thank them for hiring him. He explains he has booze as it's what some women need when they're told they're infertile. Cooper says they're pretty loose around here, at least when they don't have problems with the women. He, Sheldon, and Sam discuss his fight with Charlotte. Jake says apologies make sense for men, but the words don't mean anything for women unless they know they get where they're coming from. He explains it's his business to know women.

Violet comes home after a long day. She had a call about a mommy group. Pete already put Lucas to bed. Sam told him he's a fully functional adult, so he's cleared for all physical activity. Violet thanks God and climbs on top of him. They start making out.

Cooper wakes up on the couch as Charlotte is ready to leave for work. He gets up and says he understands where she's coming from. He hears her and he's sorry for everything. Charlotte asks what it is exactly that he understands. He admits he has no idea. Charlotte says that's why he's still sleeping on the couch.

Sam asks Will if he's really wanting to give up on 20 years of marriage. Laura still loves him. Will says the medication didn't make her lie to him and betray every single thing they were about. Sam doesn't know how it affected her brain. Sam says sickness changes people on the inside too, which is why the wedding vows say in sickness and in health. He says Will should hear out Dr. Shepherd.

Addison comes in as Dorothy is about to leave to go buy flowers. Nina says her mother used to bring her flowers when she was sick, and she now realizes gammy did that for her too. Addison says they're risking a lot. Nina knows the risks. When she was younger, her mother was worrying all the time and every time, she said that she'd understand when she'd be a mother. Nina wants her own baby to protect and raise and teach. If something's worth having, you gotta try it. When that kid is finally driving her insane with worry, she'll finally understand. Addison comes outside and she tells Jake she's willing to take the shot.

Amelia is explaining the deep brain stimulation to Laura. Amelia says it's a very targeted procedure. Sam says Amelia is excellent. Will says it can get them back on track, but Laura says it's terrifying. Will asks if it's more terrifying than life without him. He needs her to have the surgery in order to trust her again. He asks her to have the surgery.

Pete is talking to Sheldon about last night. It was intense, but he felt disconnected, like he was just watching. It's like he could've just been screwing a prostitute. Sheldon asks if he's ever felt that disconnected before. Pete says he did when he got the crap beaten out of him in foster care when he was 13. His foster brothers would beat on him. Pete says he resolved it by breaking the biggest kid's nose. Sheldon thinks it's a way to relieve his anger, but Pete says he wasn't angry that Violet wanted to have sex. Sheldon asks if he's sure about that.

At home, Violet is trying to get Lucas to eat spinach, but she's unsuccessful. Violet says it also felt angry and detached last night, which was hot in some way. Violet says it's inappropriate to have this conversation with him, but she has to because the other mommies won't talk to her. She says they can both learn a new language and tries to teach him some Spanish. She says el madra feels loco. Lucas throws spinach in her hair with his spoon.

Amelia finds Jake's bottle in her office. Sheldon comes in and offers to take it, but she says she'll keep it for guests when she has dinner parties. Laura comes in and Sheldon leaves. She's not okay, because she won't have the surgery. Amelia gets it's scary. Laura says more that she doesn't want to give up her meds. She loves them. For the first time in her life, she doesn't care what people think and she's completely uninhibited. Yesterday, she had sex with a man in a grocery store only 5 minutes after she first saw him. It's addictive. Laura's a kindergarten teacher who hasn't bothered to wax anything in years because it didn't matter but now, she feels sexy. She feels alive and connected to her body in ways she forgot existed. She can't give that up. She'll use condoms to keep Will safe, but Amelia has to tell him that the surgery won't work for her. Amelia gets the high you get from having no inhibitions, but you can't give everything you have up for that. Laura says she's dying, so she doesn't have that much left to lose.

Violet, who's gotten a bob haircut, enters the practice's kitchen carrying Lucas, and asks Addison if she wants to have lunch with them. She's bored.

Addison stops pushing Lucas on the swings and tells him to go play so she can eat. She sits down on a swing next to Violet, who turns her head as she thought she saw someone from her mommy group. Violet tells Addison she hated them all. She then says that's a lie. They didn't like her and didn't even return her emails, so she chopped off her hair. Addison doesn't know what to say as they've never really been friends. Violet figured she could talk to Addison since she's slept with her husband and raised her kid. Addison says it's logical she doesn't get along with the mommies because they have nothing in common besides having a child. It'd be like Addison being friends with every infertile women in town. Violet says she feels better. Addison is trying to have a baby without Sam and that's weird. Violet says they weren't done talking about her. Violet feels lonely because of everything that's going on in her life. Addison asks if she wants to be friends. Violet says it's great she's having a kid on her own. Addison confesses she's lonely too. They agree to be friends.

Cooper finds Sam, Amelia, and Charlotte in the coffee room. Charlotte is still ignoring him. Sam asks Amelia if she's scheduled Laura's surgery yet. Amelia says she cancelled it because she doesn't want to change her behavior. Charlotte says she can't lie to Will. Amelia won't tell Will anything. Sam says it's like giving her a free pass to cheat. Amelia says they can't tell Laura how to live her life. Charlotte says it's hard to get trust back once it's been broken. Amelia says Charlotte's a bitch her and to Cooper, complimenting her range. Charlotte leaves.

Addison hands the uterus over to Jake. While she gets regloved, Jake puts in Nina's body. Addison asks his opinion about several IVF specialists. He'll call them for her. Nina has a bleeding. Jake has to embolize the vessel. Addison says that'll cut off supply to the transplant, but he'll lose Nina if he doesn't. Jake urges Nina to hang in there.

Addison and Jake scrub out. Addison says he at least tried. It's more than other doctors. He saved her life, but he says it's not a win for him.

Violet and Lucas are watching a Winnie the Pooh cartoon. As Pete is getting ready for work, Violet says she wants to start writing another book as she needs to use her intellect. Pete can't believe she's already bored with motherhood. Violet thinks it's important for Lucas to see a well-rounded woman. Pete says a two-year-old doesn't want that, he wants his mother. Violet says it can't be a shock that she wants to work and raise her child. Pete has to leave for work.

Jake apologizes to Nina, but they knew it was a long shot. She will be a mother through other options. If her mother were here right now, she'd see it wasn't giving birth that defined her. It were the first moments they shared together. Nina will have a baby, however she comes into the world and Nina will love her. That's all that matters.

Laura meets with Sam on a terrace. He wanted to talk to her as friends. He doesn't understand how she can do what she does. Laura says they're not friends. Laura says her husband will only have sex in the missionary position and he stops as soon as he's finished. He called her disgusting if she tried to finish on her own afterwards. So, he has issues. His issues have become his issues as that's what happens in his marriage. He's not interested in dealing with these issues. She understands that now, because she has no interest in dealing with hers. They're a great team and she asks Sam not to judge her as he's not in their marriage. Appearances mean nothing.

Pete is venting his anger about Violet's desire to write a second book to Sheldon. It feels like when she left for her book tour. Sheldon tells him not to be a baby. He's scared. Pete denies that, as he works in the ER and has been in the warzone in Bosnia. The disconnect he feels is not anger. Sheldon asks what he's afraid of.

Sam finds Amelia and tells her she was right about Laura. He gets that it's her business to decide what she'll tell Will. Laura will have her high and Will won't know. Hopefully, it will be better that way.

Cooper is playing the piano as Charlotte comes home. He tells her he's drowning here and he doesn't know what to do to save himself. He'll do whatever he needs to do to fix this. He asks her to tell him. She says he made her be the sheriff with her. Everyone knows her like that at her job. She doesn't want to be the sheriff with her husband, too. Cooper doesn't regret saving Kerri, but he does regret not having her back. He won't make her be the sheriff. Charlotte kisses him.

Sam tells Addison they should be able to tell each other anything. He recalls she wanted to talk about the IVF and he cut her off. He says it's not okay. They're together and they should be able to tell each other everything. He asks her about the IVF. Addison kisses him and thanks him, but she's really fine.

Violet gets into bed. Pete turns off the light and turns his back to her. Violet says she's afraid he thinks she's a bad mother. He says he's afraid he'll die before he's done raising Lucas.

Addison tells her therapist she renamed the practice to Seaside Health and Wellness. She thought about calling it Montgomery Wellness, like Bizzy would have told her to, but she didn't do it. The name reflects that it's a cooperative practice. A few years ago, she would have named it Montgomery. Sam's goodness, generosity, and honesty has rubbed off on her.

Cooper and Charlotte arrive at the practice. Charlotte says she'll see him at lunch and walks off. A woman approaches Cooper and notices he doesn't remember her. She says 9 years ago, she was a bartender and they had sex in her SUV in the parking lot. She introduces herself as Erica. Cooper says it's awkward, and he's married now. Erica says she has a son. He's 8 and his name is Mason. Mason is reading in the waiting area. Erica says Mason is his. Cooper looks at Mason, who looks back at him.


Main Cast[]

Guest Stars[]


Medical Notes[]

Addison Forbes Montgomery[]

  • Diagnosis:
  • Doctors:
    • Therapist
  • Treatment:
    • Talk therapy

Addison talks to her therapist about her sex life with Sam and also about renaming the practice.


  • Diagnosis:
    • Mayer-Rokitansky-Kuster-Hauser Syndrome
  • Treatment:
    • Uterine transplant

Nina was born without a uterus and wanted to have a baby. She had functional ovaries, though, so her grandmother, Dorothy, was planning to give Nina her uterus. She'd been seeing Jake and sent her for a consult with Addison. After speaking with Jake, Addison agreed to perform the uterine transplant. They took her into surgery, but when they released the clamp on the transplant, she started bleeding. In order to save her life, they had to cut off blood supply to the graft. After the surgery, Jake assured her she could still be a mother without carrying a child herself.

Lucas Wilder[]

  • Diagnosis:
  • Treatment:

Lucas was pulling on his ear, so Violet brought him in to see Cooper, who said he was fine.

Laura Martin[]

  • Diagnosis:
    • Parkinson's Disease
    • Gonorrhea
  • Treatment:
    • Oral medications
    • Antibiotics

Laura, 40, who had Parkinson's disease, had increased her meds without telling Amelia because she was a kindergarten teacher and she was worried her Parkinson's symptoms were scaring the kids. Amelia asked her if she'd had any impulsive or compulsive behaviors because those are side effects of the meds. She admitted that she'd been compulsively having sex with multiple men, which resulted in her contracting gonorrhea. Amelia suggested deep brain stimulation as a possible solution. It would help Laura's symptoms so she could reduce her meds, stopping the impulses. Laura said she didn't want to give up her meds because for the first time in her life, she wasn't afraid of what people thought of her. She later told Sam that her husband had issues surrounding sex. She didn't want to leave him, but she wanted to keep having satisfying sex.

Will Martin[]

  • Diagnosis:
    • Gonorrhea
  • Treatment:
    • Antibiotics

Will came to for a check up with Sam, whose labs said he was stressed. Sam also said he had gonorrhea, which he'd gotten from his wife, who'd been cheating on him as a side effect of one of her meds.


Song Performer Scene
"Sad Sad City" Ghostland Observatory
  • Addison talks to her therapist about sex. She thinks Sam is a better person than her.
  • It's day one again for Amelia. She's humiliated.
"Dim Lit Girl" The Old States
  • Pete, now cleared for physical activity, gets physical with Violet.
"On the Other Side" The Rocketboys
  • Violet and Pete discuss their fears.
  • Addison talks to her therapist about renaming the practice and how she's become a better person through Sam.
  • Cooper gets approached by Erica, who reveals he has a son named Mason. Cooper looks at Mason.

Notes and Trivia[]

  • This episode scored 6.51 million viewers.
  • This episode introduces Erica and Mason Warner.
  • Violet gets a haircut, resulting in much shorter hair.


Episode Stills[]


Jake: If your mom were here right now, she would tell you that it wasn't giving birth that defined her. It was the first time you looked in her eyes and smiled. It was the first time you fell asleep on her shoulder. And she barely let herself breathe because she never wanted that moment to end. You will have your baby, however she comes into the world, and you will love her incredibly well because your mom taught you how. That's all that matters.

Jake: It's how I make my living. I'm in the business of knowing women.
Cooper: It kind of makes you sound like a pimp though.

Addison: Are you hiding?
Violet: I thought it was a woman from my mommy group.
Addison: You're in a mommy group?
Violet: I went once. Hated them all.

Addison: I renamed the practice. Did I tell you? Seaside Health and Wellness. I thought about calling it Montgomery Wellness. Bizzy would've told me to do that. I mean, it is all of my money funding the place now. But I didn't do it. It is a cooperative practice, and the name reflects that.

Sam: We're together and, you know, we shouldn't have secrets or, you know, things that we're thinking about that we can't say.

See Also[]

A complete overview of this episode's crew can be found here.