Vic rallies the crew to pose for a calendar photo shoot that will support a good cause. Meanwhile, Emmett comes clean to Ben and Sullivan, and shows Andy a softer side.
Andy is walking through the woods in turnouts. She sees her dad roasting a marshmallow and goes to him. He doesn't say anything, but holds out the marshmallow for her to take. She grabs it, but it disintegrates.
Andy wakes with a start. She tells Sullivan that the meds Ben gave her are giving her weird dreams. He says that's better than not sleeping for three days. She tells him he has to go back to work and have Maya's back. The only thing that's okay about this is that he went out his way and Dixon can't make that a bad thing. Sullivan says he'll go.
Vic makes a sign asking for donations for Pruitt to get a line-of-duty funeral. When she sees Emmett and Travis, she asks them which of them wants to be July and which August. The department is refusing to give Pruitt his line of duty funeral because Dixon is saying he was a civilian when he died. Vic then says they're making a calendar to raise money to pay for it. Travis tries to say no, but Vic tells him he has the body and might as well make some money from it. Then she realizes how that sounds. She starts to cry and apologizes. Then she shares a memory of her first day on the job, her first call. A woman had thrown her poop out the window. She had pooped at her new boyfriend's house and it clogged when she tried to flush, so she grabbed the poop and threw it out the window, but it was a double window, so it splattered there. She went out the window to clean it, but got stuck. She had to call for the boyfriend, who called for help. Pruitt calmed her down and then he got her out. And he helped clean the poop up. At the end of the shift, he said he was glad that was her first call because it would remind her that it's not just about the superhero crap. It's about empathy and treating every member of their community like a member of their family. Vic then asks Travis to be Mr. July.
Marsha comes in with a box of donuts, proclaiming herself the breakfast fairy. She knows they're going through a lot and wanted to help them through the pain. Dean takes a couple donuts and thanks her. Then she tells them Pruitt saved her life. Well, he saved her cat, who was her life. Her cat had gotten up on the roof in the satellite dish wires. Pruitt climbed up and got him down.
Dean brings Vic a donut, but she doesn't want it. She says the photographer was charging way too much, so she found an old camera to use instead. She tells him about the calendar and says he needs to pick a month. He doesn't want to. He says he's busy drawing up his will. It's easy because he only owns a houseboat and some t-shirts, but the big issue is who gets Pru. He asks Vic, but she says she's gone her whole life avoiding single motherhood. Travis says he'd offer to take Pru, but after Dean sees his costume, he won't agree to that. He comes out in flag shorts and a red and white striped hat, plus boots and red, white, and blue stars on his chest. Jack walks in and asks for context for that. He says he feels like a piece of meat. Just then, a call comes in for a gas leak. They recognize the location as a place they've been three times that week. Travis says the photoshoot is cancelled and goes to leave, but Dean tells him to stay.
Maya updates Sullivan over the phone. She then asks how Andy is. He's surprised, but she says Andy's her best friend and she knows they're together. Sullivan says she's sleeping and has told him several times to leave and be there for Maya at her hearing. She tells him she doesn't need backup as she stand by every call she made. She tells him to stand by Andy.
Jack and Dean arrive at the gas leak and Jack asks if his parents won't raise Pru if he dies. He says that's why he's getting his will ready, because he doesn't want them to. He wants her to be judged by her character, not how much money she has. Ted answers the door to the house and they tell him they're there for a gas leak. He denies that there is one, but they have to check it out because if there isn't one, someone's making false reports, which is a crime. As Dean goes to check the house, Jack sees Ted's wife, Inara, sign to her son Marcus, telling him that daddy has calmed down and he needs to go outside. Marcus replies that Ted's not his dad. Jack notices that Ted doesn't sign and asks him about it. He says it's his new stepson and he's trying to learn, but he's old. Jack tells him to hang out on the porch and he'll check Inara and Marcus for hypoxia.
Emmett and Ben are hanging black banners and Emmett tells Ben that his father talked him into the going to the academy by telling him that firefighters are the friendliest guys and it's a cheerful job. Ben says they've earned a little darkness. Emmett just got the idea that firefighters are all happy heroes. Then on his first day, someone OD's and then Rigo died. And then Pruitt sacrificed his life so Emmett could live. He's grateful. Ben stops suddenly and asks him who OD'd. Emmett, realizing his mistake, doesn't answer.
Vic has Travis slide part of the way down the pole and hold it while she takes pictures of him. Dixon comes in and isn't amused to see what they're doing. He thinks Maya set that up to be the day of her hearing to garner sympathy. Vic says no one is looking for sympathy, just a clearly-deserved line-of-duty funeral. Dixon says he was a retired firefighter, not on duty, and wasn't authorized to be at that incident. He does have good news to share with them, though. He invites them all to his country club to celebrate Emmett and Alicia's engagement. Ben congratulates Emmett and then quietly asks him again who OD'd. Emmett excuses himself to the bathroom.
Emmett tells Travis he didn't mean for him to find out like that. He says he does love Alicia, but he thinks he loves Travis, too. Travis says Emmett doesn't love either of them because if he did, he wouldn't have proposed. Emmett says she actually proposed to him. Travis tells Emmett that when you try to hide your poop from people, you end up stuck in a window, with your poop.
Jack asks Marcus about Ted. Marcus initially denies anything, so Jack talks to Inara. She says she called in the gas leak because she smelled gas. Ted approaches them and says the burners were on again. He knows Marcus did it. He thinks Marcus needs a stern talking-to. Jack directs him to wait in another area and Jack will check him for hypoxia after he's finished with Inara and Marcus.
Jerry Cooke asks Maya when she authorized a civilian to use the ladder truck. She says she didn't and asks him not to refer to Pruitt as a civilian. Dixon says he was a civilian. Maya lays out his credentials and says he knew what he was doing.
Andy dreams of herself as a child, looking for her father to tuck her in. She comes into station 19 and climbs into a bed and calls out for him.
Andy calls out for him in her sleep as Sullivan watches from a nearby chair.
Emmett returns to Ben, who asks him again who OD'd. Emmett lies and says it was a patient and he misspoke. Ben isn't satisfied with that answer, but stops questioning him when they hear someone calling for help. They look down to see Dara Agate and Tamil walking in together covered in a blanket. When Ben calls out to them, the blanket drops to reveal that they aren't dressed. They're embarrassed and asked for help. Ben says they'll come down.
Maya is reporting on what happened at the incident, backing up her decisions with reports from other fires. Dixon asks why, if the first attempt at venting the roof failed, she thought she'd succeed with Pruitt. She says she wasn't willing to sacrifice Travis or any other member of her team. Dixon asks if she was prepare to sacrifice Pruitt. She says she wasn't, no. She starts to cry as she explains that Pruitt wasn't going to take no for an answer. She says she knowingly allowed a lauded unanimously respected captain go into a critical scene that was certain death. He tells her to pull herself together and not make him regret endorsing a woman for captain. She says that her former captain sliced through a roof and fell to his death to save her entire team. Her tears are of gratitude and amazement and wonder and she won't apologize for having them. Crying doesn't make people less heroes. She's being forced to relive a day when her hero died and her team lived. She won't apologize for having feelings about it. Being able to care while doing her job is a quality that Pruitt modeled and it makes her superior, not inferior, to those who can't. He says crying won't keep her from getting transferred to a desk job.
Jack asks Inara how long it's been going on. Again, she denies it, but Marcus speaks up and says that Ted doesn't hit him. He just throws things and screams. But he hit Inara. Marcus has seen it three times. Jack asks if there's somewhere they can go, but Inara says if there were, they'd already be there. She says she called the police the first time it happened, but Ted convinced them she was overreacting. Then he locked her in the closet for eleven hours that night. Marcus says when they smell gas, the firefighters come really fast, which gives them time for Ted to calm down.
Dean comes and tells Jack that the burners were cranked up and the pilot light was out. Ted thinks Marcus did it, which Jack confirms to be true. Calling the police made it worse, so he wants to help them, like Pruitt would have done. He asks Dean to buy him some time.
Tamil and Dara say they were studying. His dad's a cop and the handcuffs are his. Dara wants them not to call their parents. Ben scares them for a second, saying they might have to amputate, but then admits it's a joke and sends Emmett for bolt cutters. Tamil asks if there's a way to pick the lock instead, but stops when Dara collapsed and starts convulsing.
Andy dreams of being a kid listening to a radio, hearing herself tell Maya she was trapped and running out of air. She then sees Dr. Lewis asking her about growing up, losing her mother and knowing her dad could die in a fire. She then imagines Lewis and Pruitt both telling her she's a big girl now and doesn't need a daddy.
Andy wakes with a start. She looks around and starts to cry. Then Sullivan comes in and gives her some water, which she drinks. She tells him about when she was a kid. When she was sad, her dad would open the blinds and let all the light in, saying, "Bright house, bright hearts." He was good at pulling her back. She starts to cry again and Sullivan holds her.
Ben cuts Tamil and Dara apart as Emmett announces the still alarm. The rest of the team comes out to help and Ben sends Travis and Vic to get the PRT gurney and tells Maya she can go back to her meeting. Tamil says she's never done anything like that before and he doesn't know if she takes any meds. Ben then gives Dara a sedative, but it doesn't work. They prepare to move her to the gurney.
Maya goes back to Dixon and tells him Ben's handling the call. Dixon says Pruitt was stubborn and probably wouldn't have listened to her if she tried, but she let him go up that ladder and he died and that's public record. Someone has to answer for it. Maya closes the door and reminds him that Sullivan abandoned his post to enter the building, but he's not investigating Sullivan because he appointed Sullivan and it would reflect poorly on him. The storage unit was a nightmare, not up to code and a maze. The whole team was trapped in there. They were dying and Pruitt saved them. The only villain in the story is Dixon, for denying Pruitt his line-of-duty funeral. She's happy to face the music or the press. Or he could just order her back to work and stop wasting their time. Dixon looks at Maya for a moment and then leaves without another word. Once he's gone, Vic comes in and tells her to come with her.
Dean tests Ted for hypoxia, stalling as much as possible. Ted calls out to Inara, telling her not to hog all the oxygen, so the firemen don't run out. Dean corrects that it's firefighters.
Jack tells Inara they both deserve a happy life. They don't deserve to be hit or scared. He wants to help them find it. Inara asks Jack to watch Marcus so she can pack a bag. He says he will. She sneaks into the house while Dean distracts Ted talking about the worst care of CO poisoning he's ever seen.
Andy dreams of herself in a field. Then she's on top of a car with Ryan, watching planes and talking. He talks about people being sad when planes depart, but on the other end, people at arrivals are so happy to see their loved ones. They both wave at the planes and Andy sees that her hand is covered in blood. She looks at it and Ryan tells her it's okay. He kisses her and she says she never wanted to live without him.
Andy says Ryan's name in her sleep. Sullivan hears and tells her it's him and he's there.
Inara comes back with a bag and asks Jack to held her hide it. Dean tells Ted that there are trace amounts of gas still in the house. He'll be fine, but it's not safe for Inara and Marcus to stay there. Ted doesn't believe that and says they have to stay together. They then hear a fire starting in an upstairs room.
Maya awkwardly poses while Vic takes pictures. Travis tries to coach Maya on how to pose better. While he works with Maya, Vic starts to cry and sits down. Maya and Travis notice and join her. She says she's so sad and so mad. A call comes in and they recognize that the address is where Jack and Dean are. Maya grabs her helmet and jacket and they go to answer the call.
Dara is in the PRT and still seizing. Emmett asks if Ben can't do something. He explains that Dara doesn't need surgery. She needs to be sedated and paralyzed. Plus they need to get used to not having the PRT because one Emmett answers his question, it'll probably get shut down. Dara then stops seizing. She confirms that she has epilepsy. She wears a bracelet, but takes it off when she's with Tamil because she doesn't want him thinking there's something wrong with her. Tamil says she can tell him anything. A medical condition is not embarrassing. The athlete's foot he's been hiding from her is embarrassing. He says he loves her and tells her never to do that again.
As backup arrives, Ted goes to Marcus and handles him roughly. He thinks Marcus started the fire. Dean updates Maya on what happened and she gives orders. She tells Travis to check on the family. Ted says they're fine, but Dean quietly tells Travis and Maya that they aren't and that Travis shouldn't leave Ted alone with them.
Inside, Vic and Jack quickly put out the fire, which has engulfed the curtains. Maya orders a thorough overhaul and cause investigation before they leave. Jack looks around and says that ought to keep them out for a week or two.
Ted is still questioning Marcus. Travis is trying to calm him down, then Maya approaches. She wants him to take a walk with her, but he just wants her to put out the fire one of her firefighters started. He thinks Jack did it. Inara says that Ted gets confused and he's not well, which angers Ted. Travis and Dean have to hold him back.
Vic asks Jack if he started the fire. He says he didn't, but might have if he'd thought of it. All Marcus has is his mom and the husband's beating her. Marcus has to watch that. Jack wants to help her get out. Jack has a plan. He wants them to put Inara and Marcus in the aid car and tell Ted they're going to Grey Sloan Memorial. Jack thinks he has a friend they can stay with. Vic says they'll do it.
Andy dreams that she and Rigo are watching her previous dream with Ryan on television. He says he never had a dad, especially not one like hers. She says she never had a mom. Rigo says people are wired differently. They made mistakes, but didn't mean to hurt anyone. Rigo tells Jack he's not a bad guy. Andy's surprised to see Jack there and asks if he's dead. He says he isn't, but they're all orphans. Andy sees a woman from behind and calls out to her mom.
Andy wakes with a start. Sullivan is there and comforts her. She says she's an orphan. He says he is, too. She didn't know that. He doesn't talk about it. They died in a plane crash when he was sixteen. Then he got married and his wife died. Then Ripley died. Andy leans into Sullivan and tell him they're all they have.
Ben is surprised that kids so young were experimenting with bondage. They're not much younger than his own kids. Ben then reveals that he knows it was Sullivan who OD'd. Emmett tells him what happened and what Sullivan said about having a prescription and the station running on trust. Ben explains that fentanyl prescriptions aren't injectable. They come in patches or lollipops. Now Ben has to turn in his battalion chief.
Marsha opens the door and hugs Jack. Jack introduces her to Travis, Inara, and Marcus. She welcomes Inara and Marcus into her home and says she's ordered pizza. Inara thanks Jack and he signs to her that she needs to flush the matches in her pocket down the toilet, take a shower and scrub herself, and throw out the clothes she's wearing. She tells him she didn't plan it. She was just going to pack a bag. He tells her he doesn't think there will be an investigation and she thanks him. As she joins Marcus and Marsha, Travis tells Jack he did a good thing and Pruitt would be proud.
Dean explains to Ben about his will and asks if he and Bailey will take Pru if he dies. Ben says he's honored and agrees.
Vic tries again to get people to choose a month. She tells him to do it for Pruitt. Suddenly, Emmett announces that he's gay. He tells they he knows they don't know a lot about him, except that his father is the fire chief and he's engaged to a woman, but he doesn't want to be the person hiding something. He wants to say he's proud, but he's not there yet. Dean says that's cool, but he should probably tells Alicia before he marries her. The others agree. Travis and Jack come in as Maya tells him there isn't a club, but if there was, she welcomes him into it. Travis asks what kind of club and she says Seattle Fire Queers. She's only half-gay, but it counts. Travis shakes Emmett's hand and tells him he's proud of him. Vic says she is as well, but needs people to pick a month. They ignore her and work on making chili. She then snaps and tells them they're all alive because of Pruitt Herrera. They get to laugh and clap and make chili because of him. She tells them to pick a damn month. Dean picks October and removes his shirt. Emmett says he'll do November. Then Ben says he'll do December. Maya asks them to move it out of the beanery and they all leave. Once they're gone, Travis tells Maya they have no idea.
Andy sleeps on Sullivan as he reads. He gets a text message from Ben saying they need to talk.
Andy dreams that her father is reading to her, telling her to put out a fire if she sees it and then move on to the next fire because there's no life to be lived in the ashes. She says good night and goodbye to him. He says he'll see her later.
- Jaina Lee Ortiz as Lieutenant Andy Herrera
- Jason George as Dr. Ben Warren
- Boris Kodjoe as Battalion Chief Robert Sullivan
- Grey Damon as Lieutenant Jack Gibson
- Barrett Doss as Victoria Hughes
- Jay Hayden as Travis Montgomery
- Okieriete Onaodowan as Dean Miller
- Danielle Savre as Captain Maya Bishop
- Miguel Sandoval as Pruitt Herrera
- Alberto Frezza as Ryan Tanner
- Pat Healy as Fire Chief Michael Dixon
- Jonathan Silverman as Ted
- Tracie Thoms as Dr. Diane Lewis
- Colleen Foy as Inara
- Lachlan Buchanan as Emmett Dixon
- Rigo Sanchez as Rigo Vasquez
- Jayne Taini as Marsha
- Monette Moio as Dara Agate
- Brandon Brown as Tamil
- Bob Levitan as Jerry
- Tracy "Teemaree" Jacobsen as Latina Woman
- Ansel Sluyter-Obidos as Marcus
- Lalia Susini as Young Andy
Gas Leak and Fire
Station 19 was called out to 6912 Bryn Mawr Court for a suspected gas leak. It was the third such call in a week. Ted answered the door and said there was no gas leak there. Dean and Jack insisted on checking it out anyway. Jack then witnessed Inara signing to Marcus that daddy had calmed down. He learned that Ted was Marcus's stepfather. He had them go outside and said he'd check them for hypoxia while Dean cleared the house. Ted was upset to learn that Marcus had turned on the burners again, which is why the house smelled of gas. Jack asked them about it. Inara tried to deny everything, but Marcus told him that Ted hit his mother three times that he'd seen and also screamed and threw stuff at Marcus. She also said she'd called the police the first time, but he convinced them she was overreacting and that night, he locked her in the closet for eleven hours. Calling them for gas leaks gave them time for Ted to calm down. Jack had Dean stalled Ted by pretending to test him for hypoxia. Inara then decided to sneak into the house to pack a bag. After she returned, Dean lied and said it was safe for Ted to stay there, but not Inara and Marcus. Ted didn't believe it, but then a fire started in the house. They called for backup. Ted got rough with Marcus, believing he'd started the fire, as the firefighters arrived to put out the fire. The fire was quickly extinguished. Jack then put Inara and Marcus in the Aid Car and told Ted he was taking them to Grey Sloan, but instead he took them to Marsha's house.
Tamil and Dara
Tamil and Dara came into the station half-naked and handcuffed together. They lied and said they were studying. Ben scared them a little and then prepared to remove the handcuffs with bolt cutters. Dara then collapsed to the floor and started seizing. Ben gave her a sedative, but it didn't stop her seizure. They moved her into the PRT, where they were able to get her seizure to stop. She told them she had epilepsy, but took off her medical ID because she was embarrassed by it.
|"Fight to Feel Alive"||Erin McCarley||
Notes and Trivia
- This episode scored 6.72 million viewers.
- The table read for the episode took place on January 15, 2020.
- As of this episode, Station 19 returns to its previous 9:00 PM time slot, due to the shortened Grey's Anatomy season having ended the week prior.
- The woman who played the Latina woman Andy believed was her mother (Tracy "Teemaree" Jacobsen) also acts as a stand-in for Jaina Lee Ortiz.
Behind the Scenes
A complete overview of this episode's crew can be found here.
|Station 19 Season 3|
|#01||"I Know This Bar"||#07||"Satellite of Love"||#13||"Dream a Little Dream of Me"|
|#02||"Indoor Fireworks"||#08||"Born to Run"||#14||"The Ghosts That Haunt Me"|
|#03||"Eulogy"||#09||"Poor Wandering One"||#15||"Bad Guy"|
|#04||"House Where Nobody Lives"||#10||"Something About What Happens When We Talk"||#16||"Louder Than a Bomb"|
|#05||"Into the Woods"||#11||"No Days Off"|
|#06||"Ice Ice Baby"||#12||"I'll Be Seeing You"|
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