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Everything I Try to Do, Nothing Seems to Turn Out Right

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“ Every action has an equal and opposite reaction. Emergency rooms are kept in business by people who have learned that lesson in the hard way. Skydivers, bullriders. People whose bold ideas can often result in broken bones and smushed spleens. Surgeons are trained to deal with the fallout of bold ideas. We pick up the pieces and do our best to fit them back together. The thing about the bold moves is they're terrifying, could end in nothing but tears and broken bones. And that's exactly what makes them so damned exciting. ”

Everything I Try to Do, Nothing Seems to Turn Out Right is the 23rd episode of the tenth season and the 219th overall episode of Grey's Anatomy.

Short Summary[]

With Derek away, Meredith spends time with Amelia and finds out her true feelings about her time in Seattle. Bailey deals with the ramifications of her actions and Callie receives devastating news. Meanwhile, the residents panic after hearing that one of them will be fired.

Full Summary[]

Meredith is having a video conversation with Derek, who can't believe she made waffles in their kitchen. Actually, it was Amelia who did it in between conversations with her fiancé. Amelia meanwhile is on the phone with James, and it doesn't look like an easy conversation. Leaving home for DC, where's he's been for some time now, was hard for him, too, so he knows how Amelia feels. Meredith says Amelia doesn't need his sympathy; she needs him to send her home as he brought her here in the first place. Meredith is sure Amelia is telling James all about how they're holding her hostage, and Derek proposes they negotiate the terms of her release when he gets home later tonight. Meredith reminds him they have a surgery scheduled together this afternoon, but he apologizes and says another meeting popped up. Meredith sighs because the waffles are amazing. She's going to miss having a hostage.

In the dressing room, Stephanie sees Jo's back is filled with red hives. She warns the others that Jo is dying. Jo replies that's a reaction to the stress she's had ever since they found out one of them will be fired. Leah is having stress, too, but she's eating it away. Ben proposes she stop eating and Shane asks where she even gets burgers at 7 am. She warns him to drop the burger. Stephanie is confident she won't be fired, as she'll keep her head low and stay out of trouble. Jo wants them to show the attendings that they need them, which confuses Shane. He wonders if he should keep his head low or put on a show. Stephanie says he has to go a week without having a nervous breakdown, and Shane wonders why it always comes back to that. Ben thinks he'll be fired, as he was the last one in, so he thinks he'll be the first one out. Leah points out he's Bailey's husband and Webber's favorite just as Webber walks in. He needs two of them for rounds and picks Ben and Leah. "Nice knowing you," Jo tells Leah, who rapidly finishes her burger.

Stephanie shows Bailey that Braden Morris' labs are perfect, asking if it may be time for the bubble boy to come out of the bubble. "It would appear so," Bailey replies, but Stephanie asks why she looks like she just punched a kitten then. Bailey says they can't send Braden home without her telling the parents the truth about the treatment, and before she does that, she needs to inform the board. She walks up to Cristina and informs her about what she did. Cristina asks if it works and high fives Bailey when she tells her it did. "I just informed the board. Now let's go see his folks," Bailey tells Stephanie.

Jackson and April leave the OB/GYN's office with a picture of their baby. She wants to show her mom, but Jackson wants to wait till after the first trimester. If they start telling people, they also have to tell his mother, as she already tried to torpedo their relationship over a hypothetical child, imagine what she would do with a real one. Callie comes into the hallway and greets them. April makes an excuse and says it was just a regular OB check-up to make sure the parts are in order. "The both of you?" Callie asks as a nurse calls her name. Callie says she thinks she can handle this on her own and walks into the OB/GYN's office.

Cristina is enjoying a waffle that Meredith brought to work as Owen informs her that the first candidate is waiting for her. Meredith can't believe Owen is making her pick her replacement, but Cristina is interviewing Dr. Russell's replacement, not hers, which she volunteered to do. Meredith believes it sounds like a punishment, but Cristina says Owen knows it's the right move for her, so he's been nothing but supportive. Meredith shakes her head. Something's coming, she can feel it in her bones. They see the first candidate sitting in the meeting room and Cristina immediately hates his face. "Now look me in the eye and tell me this isn't a punishment," Meredith says. Cristina thanks her for the waffle and walks into the room.

April is finishing up with a patient in the ER and wants to get some gauze, but Jo appears with it out of the blue and asks her if she prefers tape or coban. April asks where she came from and Jo replies she's just trying to be useful and proactive. Two paramedics bring in a patient and Jo is eager to start working on him. April instructs her to take the patient to the trauma room and start treating him and she'll join her as soon as she's done with her own patient. Jo enthusiastically thanks her for the opportunity and a smiling April tells her she's welcome.

In Braden's room, the parents are delighted that they can take him home. David thanks Bailey for hearing them and letting their boy get better on his own. Bailey confesses he didn't get better on his own as she gave him the treatment.

Bailey tells Owen the parents did not react as she hoped they would, and Owen asks if legal action never crossed her mind. Bailey had hoped they'd see the bigger picture and she says that Dr. Edwards should be excused as she wasn't involved. "Did she know what you were doing and failed to report it?" Owen asks. They stay silent and Owen concludes she's involved. Owen is gonna get someone from legal on the phone and he asks them not to speak to anyone or move till he's back. Bailey takes a breath and sits back.

A guy from legal goes over what happened. Bailey had signed consent from one of the parents, but then the parents told Dr. Edwards that they changed their minds. Stephanie then informed Bailey about the parents withdrawing consent. And then she gave him the stem cell transplant anyway. Bailey and Stephanie confirm every step. The legal guy asks if she told anyone else, and Bailey replies she told Dr. Yang as a representative of the board. He asks what she said, and Bailey replies she gave her a high five. Owen can't believe his ears. Jackson asks if she apologized to the parents, which can be helpful in situations like these. Bailey says an apology is only effective when a mistake's been made, but she chose to not to honor the parents' wishes. It wasn't a mistake.

In the NICU, Arizona asks Shane to tell her what's special about baby Jacob. He was born with his abdominal organs outside of his body. He has to keep an eye on Jacob and the other babies, Arizona says, so it'll be quiet and adorable day for him. Suddenly, Alex walks in. She's happy to see him all grown up in his suit and asks him how the private sector is. He couldn't be better, but he came by to check on one of his patients. "Don't be a stranger," Arizona says and she leaves. Alex addresses Shane, who takes a few steps back. Alex assures him he's not going to hit him, but he wants him to check up on and old patient of his, Kevin Platt, a short bowel syndrome patient. Robbins has him scheduled for this Wednesday, Shane says, and he's in the hospital until then. Alex grabs Shane's tablet and leaves the NICU.

Ben is presenting Monica Zarr's case, a patient who's in remission after rectal cancer. The woman constantly farts, distracting Ben a little. Leah is grossed out. The woman apologizes, but her husband Paul says there's no need to as they're doctors. Richard reminds Monica he asked her to keep track of her "movements" after her surgery. "Right, the log log," she says and she asks her husband to give him the poop diary. Seeing it, Richard wants to hold off on a permanent pacemaker, and in fact, he'll be using the OR time to remove the lead wire. Monica says she's pooping way less, but Richard says it's not enough to consider the device effective. They should explore some other options. Leah gives them some, which includes smaller diets. Since Monica's a professional dancer, her meals are basically leaves and twigs already. There has to be something else. Pauls says they made it through her cancer, so they'll make it through this. Suddenly, Leah loudly burps. 

Outside the room, she apologizes, but she couldn't help it. But also, Monica farted like 80 times and she didn't laugh once. Richard is angry, which makes him appoint Ben as the lead resident on the case. Leah must prep Monica, but he tells her to take an antacid before she gets back into the room. 

Jo is taking care of April's patient's leg with Callie, who tells her to pin the knee first. April comes and asks Jo if she got the X-rays. Callie asks if she'd be in there if Jo hadn't. April points out she's a grumpus today and asks Jo to fill her in. Jo walks away from the patient to do so, which Callie doesn't like. Jo tells Callie she'll be right back with her and eagerly updates April. Callie interrupts her to say that the traction pin isn't going to place itself, which makes Jo come back to her. "Such a grumpus," April says. Callie shows her the traction pin and says that if April calls her that nonsense word one more time, she won't like where Callie will stick it. Jo meanwhile scratches her neck, which is filled with hives as well.

Amelia and Meredith are looking at their patient's spinal scans and Amelia goes over their surgical plan. Amelia gets a call, but she says she doesn't need to take it. Meredith starts talking about what Derek usually does with cases like this as Amelia's phone rings again. Meredith says she can take the call, but Amelia says it's fine as she ignores the call. Meredith apologizes and says it doesn't mean that just because she and Derek are having a hard time juggling their lives that they have to keep her from her work. Amelia says she liked her way better when she was the sister-in-law who didn't give a crap as she ignores another call. She asks if they can go back to that, which quite shocks Meredith.

Cristina is interviewing a second applicant, who stays humble but is obviously very proud of himself. He's not sure running the department is something for him, but he does know that he's always been getting the most difficult, high profile cardiothoracic surgeries since he was a resident. "Why me, you know?" he asks, which doesn't impress Cristina. She notes he finished his fellowship under Dr. Alexander, whom she knows. The applicant says Dr. Alexander is a great guy, sweet as pie, which is why it was always a little embarrassing when the Chief of Surgery would come to him for a consult instead of to Dr. Alexander. He took it as a compliment, but still, awkward. Cristina hums, not impressed at all.

Alex is in Kevin Platt's room, where his parents greet Shane as he comes in. They tell him Alex can do Kevin's surgery today. Shane wonders about Dr. Robbins. Alex explains the short bowel syndrome. The sooner they operate, the sooner Kevin can go home. "Sounds good to you?" he asks Kevin, who agrees. Alex tells the parents they just need to give consent to have Kevin transferred to his service. Ross will pick up the paper work for them, Alex says. 

Outside the room. Shane says they should let Dr. Robbins know, but Alex says Kevin is his patient, or he will be as soon as his parents sign the transfer papers. Shane doesn't feel good about this, but Alex says he's got two choices. He can feel good about it and scrub in, or he can tell Robbins, but then Alex will tell her he didn't check the placement of some kid's feeding tube and he nearly died from aspiration pneumonia. Ross says that's not true, which is right, but Alex says he's worked with Robbins for years while he went nuts and killed Alex's father. Who will Robbins believe?

Cristina sees her next applicant has already been the head of her own department for two years. The applicant knows Cristina's thinking that she looks too young for that, but she finished high school and med school early. "Pretty annoying, right?" she smilingly asks, to which Cristina agrees, wiping the smile off the applicant's face. Owen comes in, asking to borrow Dr. Yang for a moment. Cristina excuses herself. Outside, Cristina tells him he saved the big guns for last. They're all solid candidates on paper, but between the humble bragger and the girl who rode on the big wheel... He needs to know exactly what Bailey told her this morning about the deactivated HIV, but Cristina doesn't remember. She's been interviewing all day, she's surprised she can even remember her own name. Owen says it's probably for the best and he asks her to go easy on these guys. "They can't all be you," he says.

Teresa Morris tells Jackson she wants to hold her son, but she doesn't know if it's safe. For all they know, Bailey's been making up numbers to cover up her own ass. David agrees they can't trust it's safe. If they go home, something could go wrong. Jackson understands their concerns, but he trusts the labs. Teresa asks if he is a parent. Jackson then confesses he and his wife are expecting, which surprises Stephanie. Teresa asks what he would do if someone would do this to his child. After thinking this over, he decides to go run some labs for them himself. They are relieved.

Callie asks for an X-ray to check if she's put enough weight on the leg. April says it looks like she needs more irrigation. She asks Wilson to take over stitching the wound. "Absolutely, Dr. Kepner," Jo replies. Callie imitates her with a high voice after April's gone. She thought Jo had grit, which Jo says she does. All Callie sees is a yes-ma'am-no-ma'am sissy girl and there's no place in ortho for sissy girls. "Check yourself before you wreck yourself," Callie tells her.

Paul reads from a folder that yoga might help his wife, but she doesn't believe it'll help. As she keeps on farting, Leah preps her for surgery. Monica says she won't get her job back because of the yoga, and Leah can't believe she lost her job over her medical problem, as it's something she can't control. Monica tells her an embarrassing story about pooping during a pirouette. 

Arizona walks up to Kevin Platt's room, where a nurse tells her Karev took Kevin into surgery. 

Arizona meets Alex, who preparing for the surgery, and asks if he's poaching patients now. He says Kevin was their patient until a few weeks ago, so his parents know him and they're fine with it. Shane comes over and tells Alex that the consent was signed and then he sees Arizona, who can't believe he's helping Alex. Alex asks her what she wants him to do, as Kevin is on the table already. Arizona tells him this was a jerkass move and he knows it.

In the cafeteria, Meredith concludes that no one is qualified for Russell's job. Cristina says they are qualified, but as Owen said, she needs to accept that none of them are going to be her. Meredith thinks that's Owen's plan: showing her a bunch of people she wouldn't like to make her stay. She thinks he wants to offer Cristina the job. Cristina says she's thinking about this way too hard, as handing a first-year attending a complete department is just not done. Meredith points out she just got hired to run an entire research facility, so she's perfect for the job. Cristina doesn't understand how two seconds ago, she wasn't even qualified to interview the candidates and now she's perfect for the job. "Yeah, because you're you," Meredith replies. Cristina is lost. She asks if Owen is the one plotting to keep her in Seattle, or is Meredith? Meredith replies that now she's the one thinking about it too hard. 

At another table, Leah is telling Ben and Stephanie that they'll just be sending home their patient, having her poop and fart all the time for the rest of her life. She's eating a pizza in the meanwhile. Her story grosses out the others. Leah burps again and she tells Ben that she drank half of bottle of antacid, but it didn't work. Stephanie tells her she needs a magnetic esophageal sphincter, a ring of little magnets which lets food into the stomach but stays closed so she won't burp. Ben asks Leah to please get that thing, but Leah gets the idea to use the device for her patient because it could also keep food in on its way out. Ben and Stephanie say it's a good idea, suggesting she pitch it to Webber. Ben asks Stephanie about Bailey, as she's not returning any of his calls and she was supposed to meet him for lunch. 

Ben enters the conference where Bailey is waiting for Owen. She didn't tell him about what she did because she didn't want him to have to lie for her. Owen appears in the doorway and asks him to step outside, but he decides to stay. The lawyers are meeting now. They're discharging Braden soon, but it doesn't look like the Morrises are going to let this go. They're charging her for assault and battery. A calm Bailey asks Ben to pick up Tucker from his soccer practice. As there's nothing he can do for her here, he agrees to do so. Owen closes the door after Ben and Bailey asks if Braden is coming out of the bubble. He affirms. She wishes she could've seen that.

Alex and Shane are operating. Arizona comes in and tells Ross she'll take over from him. Alex objects, but Shane is still working for the hospital so he has to answer to Arizona. Shane leaves for the NICU as Arizona takes his place to assist Alex. 

Amelia and Meredith are operating. Meredith tells Amelia she can go home when Derek comes home tonight. Amelia understands that Meredith was just trying to be nice and she just bit her head off. Amelia promises to be out of her hair first thing tomorrow. Meredith already forgot that Amelia said that. "So this is not you kicking me out for being a bitch?" Amelia asks. Meredith says they love having her in Seattle, but they don't want to keep her from her life longer than they have to. Amelia laughs and she says that if she had spoken to anyone at Seaside Wellness the way that she did to Meredith, she would have to have a six-hour conversation about it. She loves it here. She and James haven't been fighting about the fact that she's still in Seattle, they have been fighting about the fact that she doesn't ever want to leave. Meredith is surprised.

Monica asks Leah if she wants to give her a bionic butthole. Leah and Richard explain how it would work. Richard affirms they have never done it before, but it wouldn't be the first time that a medical device was adapted to something other than its original intention. They're willing to give it a shot if they are. Monica asks Paul what he thinks, and he is relieved that they found a solution, because he was heartbroken when they said the pacemaker wouldn't work, but now this can all end here.  He loves her and the cancer was one thing, but he doesn't know how much more of the farting and pooping he can take. Monica interrupts his speech and tells the doctors that they'll take the magnetic butthole, which Leah likes to hear.

Callie's put on more weight on the leg and she wants an X-ray to confirm if the broken bone's been fully reduced. April asks her to wait with the X-ray until she's finished with stapling up the wound, but Callie tells her to just put on an apron. April asks to wait for a second until she's finished, but Jo yells at her to put on a damn apron. April then tells Callie she can't be in the trauma while Callie does an X-ray, which makes Callie realize that April is pregnant. Callie tells Wilson to take over from Dr. Kepner. Jo does so and Callie tells her she's so weird today. Jo apologizes, but Callie tells her to shut it. 

Shane is smearing cream onto Jacob's organs, while talking to the baby. He says they have a lot in common. His intestines are on the inside, but still he knows what it feels like to feel exposed. He thinks they'll be okay if they stick together, when suddenly the sack containing the organs breaks. He asks a nurse to bring him resources while he tries his best to keep the organs together with his hands.

Alex and Arizona are finishing up. Their opinions about the manner of closing up differ, but he tells her this isn't his first step procedure. She knows, because she taught him his first step procedure, which is why it blows her mind that he's trying to poach her patient. He asks why she's making such a big deal. Because it's freaking rude, she says. She doesn't deserve to be treated like that, she taught him better. He's out in the world now, but what he does reflects on her and she does not approve of this and neither will Lebackes. He asks if she's going to tattle on him but a nurse tells Arizona she's needed for an emergency in the NICU. 

A third applicant is explaining a technique he developed, which he wants to bring to this hospital, too. Cristina calls it impressive and asks if he has any questions for her. He heard the rumor that working at this hospital is giving up hope of ever winning the Harper Avery. Cristina understands this would make a difference for him. Of course it would, he says, because it's the goal. He assumes that that's why she's leaving. She thinks this over and says no. She says he'll probably never win a Harper Avery. She's known people who have deserved Harper Averies and people who have won them and the thing they all have in common was the work. They focus on the work and on the patient, on making someone better or making someone live. That's their goal, not the Award, so he specifically will never win the Award, not if that's what he's after. The applicant is speechless, but Cristina says not to give this place another thought as he'd be a terrible fit. She shakes his hand and thanks him for having come in.

Shane tells Arizona he doesn't know what happened. She says it burst is what happened and tells him to move. She says he can step outside while she continues to treat Jacob.

Jackson tells the Morrises they ran the labs twice, and Braden's immune system values are within the normal range. The parents are delighted to hear this and agree to let Braden out of his bubble. Jackson nods towards Owen, who's in the bubble with Braden and encourages him to leave. Braden leaves the bubble through a door and meets his parents in the hallway. They hug again after all this time of separation. Stephanie and Bailey watch the reunion from around the corner. Bailey walks away and Owen approaches David, telling him that even though she went the wrong way, Bailey's treatment did work. David asks if he's looking for a thank you. She's lucky Braden is alive, because now they'll only go after her license. Stephanie overhears how the Morrises are planning to prevent Bailey from ever practicing medicine again. Stephanie steps up and says Bailey did nothing wrong; she says it's her fault he got the treatment.

Stephanie claims she forgot to tell Bailey they withdrew consent so she went ahead and when Stephanie told her the truth, she covered for her. David can't believe she simply forgot. Owen and Jackson step up and say Stephanie is still a trainee, so he should yell at them, not at her. "In what world does that make it okay?" David says. He can't believe his son could've died and they simply say it could've been a mistake. Teresa is hugging Braden and she asks her upset husband to sit down with them. She reminds him their son is alive and healthy and they can take him home. She proposes they just go home. Braden asks if they can and David then agrees to it.

Richard is in the OR with Leah, talking her through the procedure. He needs to correct her every now and then, and pays close attention.

Callie meets April outside their patient's room. She asks how far along April is. Ten weeks today, April says and she shows Callie the picture, even though she knows she's not supposed to be telling anyone yet. Callie takes the picture and asks April if they're happy. April answers they really, really are and Callie gets emotional. April notes the tears aren't for her, and asks if there was a reason why she was such a grumpus today. "That is not a word," a crying Callie says. April learned it from her mother, who invented it because it's heard to stay angry when someone uses the word, but note to self, it doesn't work on Callie. Callie says she and Arizona are trying to have another baby, but the appointment with the OB brought up that Callie developed uterine adhesions since the car accident and so she can't carry another baby. They both apologize. Jo interrupts their moment and Callie quickly hides her tears while April hides the picture of her baby. Jo wants to apologize for her behavior and she explains she overheard one of the residents will be fired, so she was afraid it would be her. April and Callie, in an attempt to punish her for interrupting their moment, say it could totally be her before they walk away.

In the scrub room, Amelia says James is truly amazing and he helped her through some things, but now she's on the other side and when she looks around, she doesn't think she needs him anymore, which she knows is terrible to say. Amelia will go talk to their patient's family and then she will go home and bake a cake with the kids, read them a really long bedtime story, and then when she has absolutely no more way of avoiding breaking the heart of this man who deserves better, she's going to call James to tell him she loves him, but that she can't do this anymore.

In a conference room, Bailey tells Owen that Stephanie, who's also present, is lying. Owen says he understands she wants to protect a resident, but she shouldn't have let it come this far. Bailey can't believe he's taking Stephanie's word over hers, but Owen says it's over. The Morrises agreed to drop the charges in exchange for Edwards receiving one week of disciplinary suspension. The Morrises have gone home, and he suggests they both do the same. He walks out and Bailey asks what's wrong with her. Stephanie explains that if Bailey got fired over this, no one would benefit from this treatment like Braden did. Bailey was going to go down for this, she knew she was risking it, but she was willing to do everything to save Braden. Stephanie questions what kind of surgeon she would be if she wasn't willing to do the same. "Plus, there's a chance I won't be here next year, so I was just rolling the dice," Stephanie says. She was looking at the bigger picture. Bailey hugs her and tells Stephanie she's not going anywhere without a fight from her.

Leah and Richard watch Monica through her bedroom window. Leah tells him she would like to stay on Monica's case because she wants to be there when Monica comes back for a follow-up. Richard says they should have a seat. They sit down and he compliments her move today, which makes her proud and smiling. He tells her she's very bright and she has what it takes to be a very good doctor. But she's not a surgeon. Standing next to her in surgery only confirmed it. She makes five moves where a second-year resident should make two, and next year she'd only fall further behind. She says she can work harder and do better, but he says a surgical residency just isn't a good fit for her. She questions if it has anything to do with the harassment complaint, but he denies this. Letting her go isn't a punishment, he explains, it's a kindness. She deserves every opportunity to figure out what her next steps will be. In the meantime, Dr. Miller at the University of Washington runs a research lab and he thinks she'd do very well there. Miller owes him a favor, so he'd be more than happy to make a phone call for Leah. A crying Leah nods and thanks him, but she seems relieved. He walks off.

Arizona is done treating Jacob and she tells a nurse how they'll proceed with the case in the near future. Alex appears and she asks if he came to steal more babies. He asks her not to tell Lebackes and she replies this makes it even worse. He apologizes and says he's drowning at the private practice. In the hospital, cases come in all the time and he can prove himself, but over there, if you're not bringing in the cases, you're not bringing in the money, which makes you a nobody. He doesn't want to lose the job and didn't know who else to tell. She tells him to call her next time and tell her that he's in trouble and needs help. Then she'll help him. He understands and she softly slaps his head on her way out.

Outside the hospital, Bailey explains to Ben why she couldn't tell him. He needs to know if taking the risk was absolutely necessary and she says Braden was dying. She created something out of thin air. She turned a virus that kills into something that heals and it saved his life. She saved his life. He seems to understand.

On their way out, Jackson tells April that it wouldn't be the worst thing if she'd send the ultrasound to her mother. She figures out he told somebody. He confesses he accidentally told Stephanie. He apologizes, but she forgives him. He still doesn't know how they're going to tell his mother. She says they won't be telling her, he will. 

While changing, Stephanie asks Jo how her hives are. Jo starts complaining about it and Shane says he popped a baby. Stephanie doesn't know what that could even mean, but doesn't want him elaborate. Leah says they'll all be fine. Stephanie says that's easy for her to say with her victory in the OR today, but she thinks one of them will definitely go down. Jo and Stephanie leave to go drink about it. Shane asks Leah if she really thinks he'll be okay, and she calmly and assuredly replies that she does. They smile at each other and she tells him to go, she'll meet them at the bar. Leah then continues to take things out of her cabinet.

Callie and Arizona are sitting in bed. Arizona just heard the news and proposes she carry the baby, because they want this. She wants this and she thinks she can do it. Callie says they just got good again, but they're still fragile. If this goes badly, she doesn't think they'd make it. Arizona thinks this over and agrees. Callie says they have a beautiful life, a beautiful daughter and that can be enough. Arizona agrees. They tell each other they love one another and kiss. A crying Callie hugs her wife.

Owen meets Cristina and asks her if they have a new Head of Cardio. She doesn't know, and continues looking through some documents. He says he screened them all, so they couldn't have been that bad. She says they were all good, anyone one of them could have the job. Except humble bragger. He sits down and tells her the Harper Avery Foundation has been looking for ways to mend fences with them after what happened with her. He says a large infusion of cash into their cardio department could allow them to attract higher category talent. The worst they could do is say no. Cristina tells him not to offer her this job. He wanted to for a week, but he knows she had to go. She gets teary-eyed as he says he knows nothing good can come out of him asking her to stay, so he isn't asking her to. She thanks him for that. But he will ask her something else. He kisses her passionately and asks her not to leave him until she has to. They continue kissing.

Derek comes home with a bottle of champagne. He tells her to dump whatever she's drinking for the champagne. She says champagne is perfect, because she was wrong about the Amelia situation. She says Amelia wants to stay, which means she can take over his service, she can help out with the kids, he can brain map to his heart's content, and she won't have to pull her hair out. It is the answer they've been looking for. He says it's great. Amy can move to Seattle and they can move to DC, which wasn't the point of Meredith's story. Derek says he met the President. He came to them and they walked him through everything they've been working on and at the end of it, he said he wanted to make this a weekly thing. They offered him a position at the NIH. It's the job of his dreams. He'd be right there, on the ground, do the actual brain mapping work himself. They've given him everything. Meredith says they can't just pack up and move across the country, but Derek says they promised him to have an attending position waiting for her at the James Madison Hospital. Meredith overthinks it while Derek says Amy can take over his practice without him hovering over her. She will thrive. Alex is moving on, Cristina is leaving, they all have their next step. This could be their next step. He enthusiastically says this should be their next step. Meredith keeps on thinking about it while her voice over says that while bold moves could go wrong, that's what makes them exciting.

Cast[]

Main Cast[]

Guest Stars[]

Co-Starring[]

Uncredited[]

  • Jason-Shane Scott as Dr. Roberts

Medical Notes[]

Jo Wilson[]

  • Diagnosis:
    • Stress Hives
  • Doctors:
  • Treatment:

Jo began to develop hives due to the stress of not knowing whether or not she'd be fired.

Braden Morris[]

  • Diagnosis:
    • SCID
  • Treatment:
    • Gene therapy

Braden was doing so well after his gene therapy that he was finally able to come out of the isolation room and was discharged to go home.

April Kepner[]

  • Diagnosis:
    • Pregnancy
  • Doctors:
  • Treatment:

April, at 10 weeks pregnant, got a second ultrasound.

Callie Torres[]

  • Diagnosis:
    • Adhesions
  • Doctors:
  • Treatment:

Callie went for a checkup to get the lay of the land for their insemination attempts, but was informed that adhesions had developed in her uterus since the car accident, making her unable to carry any more babies.

Ms. Campbell[]

  • Diagnosis:
  • Treatment:

April tended to Ms. Campbell in the ER.

ER Patient[]

  • Diagnosis:
    • Complex scalp laceration
    • Anterior hip dislocation
    • Posterior hip dislocation
  • Treatment:
    • Stitches
    • Hip reduction

A 30 year old male was in a motorcycle vs. pedestrian, giving him a scalp laceration and bilateral hip dislocations. Both hips were reduced and the scalp laceration was stitched up.

Jacob[]

  • Diagnosis:
    • Omphalocele
    • Busted omphalocele
  • Treatment:
    • Silver sulfadiazine
    • Vicryl mesh

Jacob was born with an omphalocele which they were treating with daily applications of silver sulfadiazine as a bridge to delay closure. While Shane was applying the silver sulfadiazine, the omphalocele ruptured, releasing his organs. Arizona covered the organs with vicryl mesh to protect them. She had a nurse monitor him carefully and planned a double-thickness skin graft in a couple weeks.

Alex's Patient[]

  • Diagnosis:
    • Inguinal hernia
  • Treatment:
    • Surgical repair

Alex came to the hospital to check on a patient of his with an inguinal hernia.

Kevin Platt[]

  • Diagnosis:
    • Short Gut Syndrome
  • Treatment:
    • Total parenteral nutrition
    • STEP procedure

Kevin had short gut and was in to have a STEP procedure to lengthen his bowel.

Monica Zarr[]

  • Diagnosis:
    • Rectal cancer
  • Treatment:
    • Sacral nerve stimulator lead
    • Magnetic sphincter

Monica, 27, was in remission from rectal cancer. A bowel resection she had to treat that left her with poor sphincter control, meaning she had frequent bowel movements and flatulence. She was meant to receive a permanent rectal pacemaker, but a log of her bowel movements showed that she was eliminating every 4 hours and 26 minutes, far too frequently for the pacemaker to be effective as she had already had a sacral nerve stimulator lead inserted. Dr. Webber instead suggested they use the OR time to remove the lead wire. Leah got the idea to use a magnetic sphincter, which is commonly used in the esophagus to reduce acid reflux.

Meredith and Amelia's Patient[]

  • Diagnosis:
  • Treatment:
    • Fusion

Meredith and Amelia operated together.

Bailey's Patient[]

  • Diagnosis:
    • Acid reflux
  • Treatment:
    • Magnetic esophageal sphincter

Stephanie told Leah and Ben about a patient of Bailey's that received a magnetic esophageal sphincter to reduce acid reflux.

Music[]

Song Performer Scene
"PYT (Pretty Young Thing)" (originally by Michael Jackson) Shelby Earl
  • Meredith and Derek video chat
  • The residents talk about the upcoming firing
  • Dr. Webber takes Leah and Ben for rounds
  • Bailey and Stephanie discuss Braden's status
"Jump (For My Love)" (originally by The Pointer Sisters) Brock Tyler
  • Callie tells April she can't have babies
  • Amelia and Meredith talk as they scrub out
  • Bailey tries to tell them Stephanie lied
  • Stephanie tells Bailey she was looking at the bigger picture
"Tainted Love" (originally by Gloria Jones) Claire Guerreso
  • Arizona smacks Alex in the back of the head
  • Ben and Bailey talk about Braden
  • Jackson tells April he told Stephanie
  • The residents debate who will get fired
  • Leah cleans out her cubby
"Dance Hall Days" (originally by Wang Chung) Imperial Mammoth
  • Arizona and Callie decide their family is enough
  • Owen and Cristina agree to be together until she leaves
  • Derek comes home
  • He tells Meredith he met the president and they need to move to DC

Notes and Trivia[]

Grey's_Anatomy_10x23_Promo_"Everything_I_Try_to_Do,_Nothing_Seems_to_Turn_Out_Right"_(HD)

Grey's Anatomy 10x23 Promo "Everything I Try to Do, Nothing Seems to Turn Out Right" (HD)

  • This episode's title originated from the song Everything I Try to Do, Nothing Seems to Turn Out Right, originally sung by The Decemberists.
  • This episode scored 7.95 million viewers.[1]
  • Filming for this episode was presumably scheduled from April 2 to April 10, 2014.[source?]
  • This episode has the longest title of all Grey's Anatomy episodes.
  • The episode starts roughly at 7 am.
  • Kelly McCreary makes her first appearance as Maggie Pierce in this episode.
  • Goof: When Leah burps, her mouth does not open until a couple of seconds into the burp.

Gallery[]

Episode Stills[]

Behind the Scenes[]

Quotes[]

April: Whoops, looks like I need more irrigation. Wilson, can you take over?
Jo: Yes, absolutely, Dr. Kepner!
Callie: (imitating Jo) "Absolutely, Dr. Kepner!" Who are you? I thought you had grit?
Jo: I do. I do have grit!
Callie: Okay, all I see is some yes ma'am no ma'am sissy girl, and there's no place in ortho for sissy girls. Do you hear me? Check yo'self before you wreck yo'self.
Stephanie: Do you think it might actually be time for the boy to come out of the bubble?
Miranda: It would appear so.
Stephanie: So why do you look like I just punched a kitten?
April: Such a grumpus!
Callie: Do you see this pin, Kepner? You call me that nonsense word one more time, you won't like where I stick it.
Maggie: I finished high school early. Also med school. Pretty annoying, right?
Cristina: Yeah it's pretty annoying.
Owen: (to Cristina) Go easy on these guys. They can't all be you.
(Leah burps loudly.)
Ben: Webber told you to take an anti...
Leah: I did! I drank half a bottle and it didn't do anything and then I got all anxious about that and the night thing you know, I'm on the train to pizza town.
Cristina: You'll probably never win a Harper Avery. I've known people who have deserved Harper Averies and who have won them, and the thing they all have in common was the work. They're focused on the work and the patient, on making someone better, someone whole, or someone live. That's their goal. So, no. I mean, you, specifically, will never win a Harper Avery. Not if that's what you're after.
April: I know it's still early and we're not really supposed to be telling anyone, but...
(shows Callie the ultrasound)
Callie: Oh, wow. But we're happy about this?
April: Yeah, yeah, we are. We're really happy. (Callie cries) Hey, thanks. Oh, those tears aren't for me, are they? There's a reason you were such a grumpus today?
Callie: That is not a word!
April: It sounds so stupid that once you hear it, it's hard to stay angry. Note to self: does not work on Callie.
Callie: We're trying to have another baby and, uh, I had an appointment this morning, you know, just to get the lay of the land. But, uh, I guess since the car accident, I've developed all these adhesions, and so I can't carry another baby.
April: Oh, Callie, I'm so sorry.
Callie: No, I'm sorry.
Jo: I'm sorry, too.
(April hides the ultrasound picture and Callie quickly dries her tears.)
April: Wilson, we need to put a bell on you.
Jo: I owe you both an apology for snapping. We overheard that one of the residents isn't coming back next year, and I've just been so afraid that it might be me.
April: Could be.
Callie: Totally possible.
Miranda: What the hell is wrong with you?!
Stephanie: If you got fired over this, no one would benefit from this treatment the way Braden did. You were gonna go down for this, Dr. Bailey. You knew it could happen, but you were willing to risk everything to save that little boy. What kind of surgeon would I be if I wasn't willing to do the same? Plus, there's a chance I won't even be here next year, so I was just rolling the dice. I was looking at the bigger picture.
(Bailey hugs her.)
Miranda: You're not going anywhere without a fight from me.
Richard: That was a good move today, Murphy. You're very bright, and you have what it takes to be a very good doctor. But you're not a surgeon.
Leah: What?
Richard: Standing next to you in surgery today only confirmed it. You make five moves where a second-year resident should make two. Your knots aren't square. You can't see the planes of dissection. Next year, you'd only fall farther behind.
Leah: I--I can work harder. I can... I can do better.
Richard: A surgical residency just isn't the right fit for you.
Leah: Is this because I filed that harassment complaint?
Richard: No, Murphy. No. Letting you go isn't a punishment. It's a kindness. And you deserve every opportunity to figure out what your next steps might be. In the meantime, Dr. Miller at the university of Washington runs a research lab, and I think you would do very well there. She owes me a favor. I'd be more than happy to make a phone call.
Leah: Thank you, sir.
Arizona: What, did you come to steal more babies?
Alex: Don't tell Lebackes.
Arizona: Oh, God. That makes it worse. You... Get out.
Alex: Look, I'm sorry. I screwed up. Kind of... I'm drowning over there. Here, cases come in all the time. I can prove myself. Over there, if you're not bringing in the cases, you're not bringing in the money, and you're a nobody. I don't want to lose this gig. I didn't know what else to do.
Arizona: I'm in trouble, and I need help.
Alex: What do you mean?
Arizona: When something like this happens, you call me, and you say, "Arizona, I'm in trouble, and I need help." And I help you. Do you understand?
Alex: Right.
Arizona: Well, I I could do it.
Callie: No.
Arizona: I could. I could carry the baby.
Callie: I won't ask you to.
Arizona: But I'm offering. Because we want this. I want this. And I can do it.
Callie: We just got good again. Now we're too fragile. And something like this if it goes badly, we won't make it. I'm not gonna put us in that position.
Arizona: Okay.
Callie: We have a beautiful life. We have a beautiful daughter. And that can be enough, right?
Arizona: Yes. That can be enough. I love you, Calliope.
Callie: I love you, too.
Cristina: Please don't offer me this job.
Owen: I am not. I wanted to. For a week. But I know you had to go and I know nothing good can come out of me asking you to stay. So I'm not. I won't.
Cristina: Thank you.
Owen: But I will ask you something else.
(He kisses her.)
Owen: Just until you go. Don't leave me until you're leaving me. Just until you go.

See Also[]

A complete overview of this episode's crew can be found here.

References[]

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