|“||Have you ever experienced pain or worry or loss? Have you ever experienced trauma? Have you ever experienced doubt? Of course you have. Everyone has. We all live through things that test us. It's how we each cope, how we process, that says the most. Do we face our pain and own it or are we more comfortable living in denial? When a firefighter dies, the toll of the bell represents their last alarm. Once the bell rings, it can't be un-rung. There's no more denying it. The end is here. The bell rings to say the shift is over. The bell rings to say goodbye. The bell rings to say it's time to go home.||”|
Following a life-threatening situation that left the future of a member of Station 19 unclear, the crew gathers to face the outcome. Andy and Ben respond to a man impaled by a chandelier. Meanwhile, Station 19 is called upon to organize shipments of supplies and assist with wildfires in Los Angeles.
Andy and Maya are preparing breakfast for Vic. She has been crashing there and has only left the room once. They think it's time for her to eat. They bring the tray over to her room but find it empty. They decide to text her so she can have some space. Maya thinks the two of them should talk, too, but Andy wants to focus on Vic.
Ben is talking a stroll by the ocean.
Dean joins Jack out on the deck. He hands him coffee. Jack says any one of them could die the way Ripley did.
Travis sits down outside. He stares at his wedding ring and the empty chair next to him.
Robert is boxing at the station.
Vic is at the diner by herself. Cameron asks if she wants the usual for two. She says it's just her and tells him that her husband's at work.
Andy walks into Robert's office. She hasn't heard from him since the hospital. He's been helping out Jennifer with the funeral arrangements and she's asked him to write a eulogy. He hasn't come up with anything. Andy says neither funerals nor speeches are her thing. Robert gets a message that the L.A.F.D. needs backup supplies for the wildfires. Andy will handle the supply caravan so Robert can focus on the eulogy.
Jack finds Maya crying but she denies that she is. He thinks they should talk. Dean enters as he finishes a phone call with his mother, telling her "I love you." Ripley's death reminded him to appreciate the people that he's got. Now that things with Nikki are progressing, his mother's been saying it, too. A tearful Maya then applies a mourning band on Dean's badge.
The crew is watching a report on the wildfires. They are less than 10% contained. Andy announces they need to organize shipments of supplies. As they all wonder about Vic, in she walks. She tells them to get all their staring out of the system. She's ready to move forward. Travis offers to take her back home, but she lashes out. The others offer to cover for her, but Vic really wants to work. She doesn't want to be involved in the funeral because she's not going anyway. There's no line-up today so Vic leaves to do chores.
Travis finds Vic handling supplies. He wants her to know it's okay to not be fine. Michael's funeral helped him to process his death. Vic is glad that he had that but he was the husband. Funerals aren't designed for secret lovers. Vic insists she's better off at the station.
Ryan drops off some supplies and lets Andy know that a few of them will drop by to pay their respects. The day after, he's going to San Diego because he has been accepted into a tactical paramedic program. Andy congratulates him. He'll be gone for a few months. He's going with Jenna. Ryan says he's also happy for her and Sullivan. He saw them holding hands. Andy says there's nothing going on there. A call comes in for the aid car. Ben and Andy have to take off.
Andy complains to Ben about Ryan taking up a job without telling her. Ben did a similar thing. He asks Andy what a firefighter funeral is like. Andy says it's beautiful, sad, and hard. The honor guard will be there. Near the end of the funeral, someone will ring 20 bells to signify a firefighter's end of watch. It's to announce that one of them has come home for the last time. Andy says her dad rang bells on the night of his mother's funeral in their bedroom. She sat out in the hall and listened to his ringing it over and over. They arrive at the scene. The caller doesn't answer the door. He called it in himself, but maybe he lost consciousness. Andy then kicks in the door. They look around the house and hear a man calling for help. They find Nate on the floor in the living room impaled by a chandelier.
Nate now realizes he should have called someone. He slipped when he was trying to hang the chandelier. Andy thinks the arm of the chandelier is plugging the axillary. Nate saw his life flash before his eyes but they assure him he's not dying. Ben cuts off the penetrating arm of the chandelier. They get ready to move him, but his pressure bottoms out. They push norepinephrine.
Nate's numbers come back up. They move him to the gurney as he regains consciousness. He says he feels like there's a brick on his chest. He loses consciousness again.
Robert asks Travis if he wrote a eulogy for Michael. Travis says he couldn't bring himself to say at a word at Michael's service. Ripley spoke instead. He said some wonderful things, but Travis doesn't really remember. He only remembers it meant a lot to him. Robert wants to do that for Vic, but Travis informs him he's not going.
Pruitt finds Vic and tells her has more life experience than her. Pruitt tells her she needs bagpipes to drown out her thoughts. Vic disagrees and tells him she doesn't need his advice on this.
Andy and Ben have moved Nate to the ambulance, but before they can get him in, his pressure bottoms out again. They administer the last norepinephrine of their kit. Ben intubates. They then load him in. Ben gets behind the wheel. Andy urges him to drive carefully. Seattle Pres is 6 minutes out. Ben keeps checking in on Nate's status and keeps giving Andy advice. Nate goes into V-fib and the defibrillator shocks don't help. Andy initiates two-person CPR and orders Ben to pull over to help her out.
Nate's asystolic. Ben says Nate's bleeding worsens with every compression. Since CPR won't bring him back if there's no blood left, Ben decides to pull out the chandelier arm, pack it, and hold pressure. The approach works. Andy then gets behind the wheel. They're still 3 minutes out.
Robert brought Jennifer to the station to talk to Vic. Jennifer tells her she has to be at the funeral. Vic prefers to focus on the supplies. Jennifer says Lucas would have wanted her there and she needs Vic by her side. Vic says she cannot go. She can't stand there tall and polished and celebrate his life.
Maya is still crying but she can't seem to turn it off. She is a person who sucks in her feelings and stuffs them down, but not today. She needs Jack to stop making her feel bad about it. Dean calls them sea anemones. They've got their tentacles all over the place. When they strike, nobody ever sees it coming, but when they're threatened, they close themselves off in these tiny balls so that nobody can touch them. The only come out of those balls to strike each other. Jack and Maya got together in a fishbowl and now they are wading through the open sea, so no wonder they are having trouble right now and keep stinging each other. Dean tells Maya she's crying because she's sad. That's it. Jack is annoyed at her crying, he's just in a garbage mood because the Chief went down and it's hard. They all thought he was invincible and he wasn't. That's stirring up some stuff. They have to appreciate that they are still here today and that they have each other. Jack thanks him. Dean says Nikki is observant and communicative and it's rubbing off on him. They had plans, but he cancelled because grief isn't sexy.
Andy and Ben finally arrive at Seattle Pres with Nate. They brief Julia Udell, who says they'll take it from here. Now finally able to take a breath, Andy vents all of her frustrations to Ben. There's Ryan leaving, her inability to help Vic and talk to Maya, Ripley's death, and all she can hear through all of it is the sound of those damn bells. She feels 9 years old all over again. She doesn't know how to make all this stuff go away. Ben tells her to tackle one bleeder at a time. He learned that in surgery.
Robert sits down with Andy at the station. Nothing sounds right for the eulogy. He did speak at his wife's funeral, or at least he tried. He doesn't remember now. She didn't speak at her mother's funeral, or the whole day for that matter. She tells him to be raw if he needs to be. She advises him to just get up there and talk to Ripley. It won't matter if it comes from the heart. They watch Vic. She hopes Vic will be there to hear it.
The firefighters have gotten dressed for the funeral. No one has heard from Vic. They fear she's really not coming.
Travis finds her standing on the catwalk over the barn. He tells her there's still time to change her mind, but she's good. He doesn't think that's true. She wonders how many ways or times she has to say it before they get it. She's coping. Travis says nobody wants to go to a funeral, but it's good to go. It gives you clarity and closure. Vic says she's already got this. Travis tells her she's in denial. She's not coping. He knows how hard it is to accept what has happened. Vic says she didn't get to lose a spouse. She was robbed of experiencing a marriage. Ripley may have been the love of her life, but he was not her husband. She's nothing to him on paper. Maybe it's hard to accept that truth right now, but Travis can't understand that. He needs to stop talking about her behind her back because she's not acting like he wants her to. She's not him. She points out Michael died two years ago and he's still wearing the ring, so he's in denial, too. Travis is okay with her getting all that anger out. She really needs him to stop talking to her. She tells him to go to the funeral and leaves.
Levi shows up at the reception as Vic comes storming down the stairs. Dr. Bailey told him what she looked like. He introduces himself and says he was with Ripley when he collapsed at the flower shop. He brought her a bouquet like the one Ripley picked out for her. Levi recalls Ripley wanted the flowers to tell her that he was ready to spend the rest of his life with her. Levi thought she might like to see them. Vic thanks him. Vic starts sobbing.
Maya and Andy help to get Vic dressed.
The crew decorates the engine with black cloths.
The procession arrives at the church. The engine with the coffin is surrounded by bagpipe players and firefighters. Andy is carrying Lucas's helmet
Standing outside the church, Robert tells Jennifer he has to go meet the procession. Jennifer tells him she's fine on her own. As he walks off, Vic joins Jennifer. She's so glad Vic showed up.
People sit down in the church. Andy sits down next to Maya, who tells her about Dean's sea anemone metaphor. She thinks it means she keeps thing in to protect herself even when she doesn't need to. She apologizes for not telling her about Jack. She should have trusted her. She knows funerals are hard for Andy. She's doing better now that they're on good terms again.
Vic, Jennifer, and Robert walk behind the coffin as it is carried into the church. Vic wants to go sit with her crew, but Jennifer asks her to sit with her.
After the chaplain finishes her talk, it's time for Robert's eulogy. He says he's been thinking a lot about this. Ripley was a boss whom they looked up to. He gave everything to this department. As Lucas, he gave even more to those he loved outside it. To him, Lucas was a true friend. They understood each other, strengths and flaws. They fought and made up, thankfully not too late. Sometimes, you connect with a person and over time or distance or obstacles , you still find your way to each other. It's rare to meet someone who connects with you that way. Someone who makes you face your fears. It's so hard to say goodbye to them when they go. In their last conversation, Lucas told him not to say goodbye. Instead, Robert told him they were good. He wants to reiterate that now. They miss him and wish he hadn't left them so soon, but since he had to, it's all good. They're all good. He was so good.
Travis and Pruitt get up. Pruitt talks about the meaning of the bell. The bell rings to say their shift is over. Travis rings the bell.
Everyone's hanging out a bar for the wake. Pruitt is talking about how he played a prank on rookie Ripley. They make a toast to Lucas.
The men are playing quarters. Travis wins. They then notice that he doesn't have his ring on. It's the first he's ever taken that thing off. The world's full of possibilities. Jack calls for another round. Dean announces he accidentally scheduled his date with Nikki for right now. Seconds later, she shows up. Dean introduces her. She feels intimated, but Travis says the only thing to be intimidated by his quarters game. Due to her three years at Harvard, Nikki easily beats him. Dean and Nikki leave to get a drink someplace other than a wake.
Ryan sits down with Robert and tells him his eulogy was moving. It showed that he spoke from the heart.
Andy tells Maya she's okay with Jack coming over tonight. Maya thanks her, but she thinks Vic should be the only one staying over for a while. They agree to that. Neither of them has seen Vic for a while. Andy only knows she wanted to be alone.
Vic shows up at the diner with the bouquet. Cameron checks if it's just her again. She confirms.
Andy shares with Maya that Ryan thought she and Robert are together. Maya got that vibe, too. Andy says there's nothing going on. Maya isn't too sure about that. They watch as Ryan and Robert play shuffleboard.
Vic orders her usual. Cameron lets her know his shift's almost over.
Travis knocks back another shot. Ben wants to take Travis home, but Travis says he still got a few mistakes to make tonight. He orders another shot and tells Ben he can go home. He'll call a cab. Ben leaves him. Jeremy Heffington sits down next to him. He introduces himself. Jeremy knows he's friends with Ripley's little side hustle. Jeremy asks for the scoop. Travis tells him to stop talking. Jeremy asks if Travis is getting a piece of that, too. Travis then punches him in the face. It turns into a fight.
Vic addresses Cameron as he's on his way out. She tells him that the guy she always came in with is not her husband. And she was lying before. He wasn't at work. He died. Cameron has to sit down. As Victoria hears the bells ring inside her head, the two of them agree that it sucks.
- Jaina Lee Ortiz as Lieutenant Andy Herrera
- Jason George as Dr. Ben Warren
- Boris Kodjoe as Captain Robert Sullivan
- Grey Damon as Lieutenant Jack Gibson
- Barrett Doss as Victoria Hughes
- Alberto Frezza as Ryan Tanner
- Jay Hayden as Travis Montgomery
- Okieriete Onaodowan as Dean Miller
- Danielle Savre as Maya Bishop
- Miguel Sandoval as Pruitt Herrera
- Bre Blair as Jennifer Ripley
- Chelsea Harris as Nicole
- Jake Borelli as Dr. Levi Schmitt
- Phillip Garcia as Nate
- Shawn Patrick Clifford as Manager Cameron
- Sarah Benoit as Nurse Julia
- Ethan Corn as Firefighter Jeremy
- Ursula Burton as SFD Chaplain
Station 19 was called out to help a civilian in distress. When there was no response to them knocking, they kicked the door in and found Nate, who was on the floor with a piece of a chandelier impaled through his chest. They cut through the surrounding bars to free him and stabilized the bar in his chest then prepared to move him. However, before they could leave, he coded, so they had to stop. They were able to restore normal sinus rhythm and then they loaded him onto the gurney. Then he coded again, so they had to resuscitate a second time. As they approached the Aid Car, he coded again, so Ben intubated then they loaded up. In the ambulance, he coded again, forcing Andy to have Ben pull over to help her do CPR. Ben saw that every compression was just pushing more blood out of his body, so he made the decision to pull out the chandelier and pack the wound to stop the bleeding. Nate stabilized and then they rushed him to the hospital.
|"We Tried"||Young Summer||
|"Where I First Found You"||Forest Blakk||
|"Amazing Grace"||Scallywag Mutiny||
|"Let a Little Love In"||Caleb Hawley||
|"Love Is the Answer"||Natalie Taylor||
Notes and Trivia
- This episode scored 5.05 million viewers.
- Close-up shots of Travis Montgomery ringing the bell actually featured Alberto Frezza because Jay Hayden wasn't good at ringing the bell.
- The writers all wore black to the table read.
- A toned-down version of the score plays over the opening title card sequence given the dark nature of the episode.
Behind the Scenes
- Dean: You two are sea anemones.
- Jack: We're not enemies.
- Dean: I know. I said sea anemones. Shady, little underwater invertebrates, and you got your tentacles waving all over the place.
- Maya: What is he talking about?
- Jack: I have no idea.
- Dean: Squishy, freaky sea predators. When you strike, nobody ever sees it coming. But when you're threatened, you close yourselves off into these tiny, little balls so that nobody can touch you. And the only time you come out is to strike each other. You two got together in a fishbowl. And now you're wading through the open sea. So no wonder you're having trouble right now. No wonder you can't figure it out. No wonder you keep stinging each other.
- Maya: I hate to say this, but I think he's starting to make sense.
- Dean: Maya, do you want to know why you're crying? It's because you're sad. There doesn't have to be any other reason. You're sad today. We all are. And you just so happen to be wearing it all over your face. And Jack, you're not really annoyed with her for crying. You're in a garbage mood because the Chief went down, and it's hard. It's a tough one. We all thought he was invincible, and he wasn't. And it's probably stirring up some stuff. So just take that in. Let's sway in this current and not fight it and appreciate the fact that you two are still here today. And you have each other.
- Andy: Today was already one thing after another, and I thought the call would take my mind off all the things, but apparently, I'm living in a world of whack-a-mole.
- Ben: Is everything alright?
- Andy: Ryan's leaving, and I shouldn't care, but I kinda do. But I don't, because what's more important is I'm helping Vic. Except I'm not because she's sneaking out of my apartment, leaving me with Maya, who I can't even talk to right now. And then I get stuck with the guy who keeps dying. And someone I really looked up to did die, and you know, through all of it, all I can hear is the sound of those damn bells coming from my dad's room. I'm 9 years old all over again and all this stuff is coming up that I don't know how to... I don't know how to clamp it down, I don't know how to make it go away.
- Ben: One bleeder at a time.
- Andy: What?
- Ben: One bleeder at a time. It's something I learned when I was a surgeon. When you open a patient up and everywhere you look, there's something bleeding or falling apart, when it's damage control, all you can do is tackle one bleeder at a time.
- Victoria: I need you to back off of me, please.
- Travis: You want me to back off?
- Victoria: Yeah.
- Travis: You want me to give you some space? Okay, you've had days of space, Vic, and you're still... You are in denial. You are not coping. Believe me, I know how hard it is to accept what's happened. You know I do. But trust me, when you lose a spouse like that...
- Victoria: No, but I didn't lose a spouse! We never got married, so I... You know what? I didn't get to lose a spouse. I didn't get to experience a marriage. I was robbed of that. Instead, I lost someone who very well may have been the love of my life. But he wasn't my husband. I'm nothing to him. Officially, on paper, I am nothing. So yeah, maybe I don't want to accept that particular truth right now. But you don't get to pretend like you know what that's like. You don't. You don't know what this is like, so stop parading around here talking about me behind my back to to anyone else in the station because I'm not acting like you want me to act. I am not you! Lucas is not Michael! Okay, your husband died two years ago! If anybody is in denial right now...
- Travis: Say it. Do it. It's okay. Say whatever you want to say. You want to scream at me, wail on me? I don't care. Just get all that anger out right now. Because if you don't, it will keep bubbling up and it will come out worse, in some other way, onto someone else.
- Maya: Dean says I'm a sea anemone, which I think just means I keep things in to protect myself, even when I don't need to. I'm so sorry I didn't tell you about Jack. You tell me everything. I should've trusted you with my poisonous anemone tentacles. I know funerals are hard for you. How you holding up?
- Andy: Better now.
- Robert: I have been thinking a lot about what to say today. Chief Ripley was a boss to most of us in this room. We looked up to him. We respected him. As Chief, he gave everything to this department. As Lucas, he gave even more to those he loved outside it. To me, Lucas was a true friend. We really saw each other. We understood each other. Strengths and flaws. We fought. We made up thankfully, not too late. Sometimes you connect with a person, and you can't always explain it. Over distance and time and impossible obstacles, you still find a way to each other. It's so rare to meet someone who connects with you that way. Someone who makes you want to face your fears head-on, eyes open. And it's so hard to say goodbye to them when they go. My last conversation with Luke, he told me not to say goodbye to him. Instead, I said, "We're good." I want to reiterate that now. We miss you, Luke. We wish you didn't leave us so soon. But since you did, since you had to it's all good. We're all good. You were so good.
- Dean: What am I seeing here? Am I seeing what I think I'm seeing? You never go out in public without that thing on. And you definitely do not go out drinking without that thing on!
- Travis: I do now. I do tonight. You know, we don't know what's gonna happen. I'm alive. I'm here. World's full of possibilities.
A complete overview of this episode's crew can be found here.
|Station 19 Season 2|
|#01||"No Recovery"||#07||"Weather the Storm"||#13||"The Dark Night"|
|#02||"Under the Surface"||#08||"Crash and Burn"||#14||"Friendly Fire"|
|#03||"Home To Hold Onto"||#09||"I Fought the Law"||#15||"Always Ready"|
|#04||"Lost and Found"||#10||"Crazy Train"||#16||"For Whom the Bell Tolls"|
|#05||"Do a Little Harm..."||#11||"Baby Boom"||#17||"Into the Wildfire"|
|#06||"Last Day on Earth"||#12||"When It Rains, It Pours!"|
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