Patients say it all the time: 'Tell me straight up. I just want to know what's going on. Tell me, I can handle it.' We don't dodge your questions because we're mean. We do it because when you say you want the truth, you have no idea what you're talking about. They say the truth will set you free. What the hell do they know? The truth is horrible. Frightening. The truth is more than you can bear. We're supposed to be straight with you, so be careful what you ask for when you walk into a hospital. Because when you find out what's really going on, you may never recover.

She's Killing Me is the twentieth episode of the ninth season and the 192nd overall episode of Grey's Anatomy.

Short SummaryEdit

Upon receiving some unsettling news, Meredith and Derek take preventative steps for their children’s future; a group of Syrian doctors arrive at Grey Sloan Memorial Hospital for a crash course in basic surgical skills that they plan to apply in the field; and April decides to come clean to Matthew regarding the truth about her virginity. Meanwhile, multiple post-op patients develop infections, causing one doctor to wonder if she is at fault.

Full SummaryEdit

In her genome lab, Bailey tells Meredith and Derek she has the results of Meredith's genome sequencing. She informs them that Zola's wasn't clear, so they'll have to run it again. Bailey seems reluctant to tell Meredith's results and tries to start a questionnaire. Meredith urges her to tell her if she has the Alzheimer's gene. Bailey then reveals Meredith has tested positive for more than one of the genetic markers for Alzheimer's.

Cristina is checking on Paul Dawson, who still hasn't woken up. Owen comes by and tells her Rachel Dawson, Paul's wife, hasn't woken up yet either. Owen tells Cristina he kept Ethan, Paul and Rachel's kid, in peds overnight and that Ethan's grandmother will come today. Owen and Cristina start flirting a bit, but Owen is too worried over Ethan's parents to continue with it. Cristina tries to reassure Owen that Paul will wake up, but Owen would like Cristina to call in Dr. Russell to help her.

Intern Leah Murphy tries to get intern Stephanie Edwards to switch with her, as she is on Bailey's service and Bailey already hates her. Stephanie declines the offer, when Bailey angrily approaches Leah with a crumb that was stuck to her laptop after Leah had used it. Leah rushes off to clean Bailey's laptop. Bailey walks over to Alex and tells them that she taught them way better than the way they are teaching the current interns. 

Richard and Callie watch Arizona, April, and Owen prepare goodie bags from the hospital to give to two Syrian doctors. They are coming to Seattle to learn techniques that they can use on wounded soldiers and civilians in the field with a minimum of equipment. Richard suddenly understands that if they brought in Arizona, there must also be a lot of wounded children. Richard and Callie leave the room as Stephanie walks in to talk to Owen about a burn patient. She also informs April on Matthew's status and tells her that Matthew's mother is coming to pick him up, which leaves April thinking that Matthew can't walk.

Bailey and Leah examine a patient who came in with a post-operative infection. They previously operated on the patient together and Bailey whispers that Leah maybe dropped a pizza crumb in her wound. The patient's husband is worried, unlike the patient herself. Bailey says they were right to come in.

In the staircase, Meredith and Derek are discussing the possibility of Meredith getting Alzheimer's. Meredith wants Derek to call their lawyer to update their will, as Lexie was Zola's legal guardian. Derek says that even if she gets the disease, it's still decades away. Meredith says it might not be.

The two Syrian doctors are being taught by Arizona, April and Owen. Owen only brought a minimum of equipment. However, the Syrian doctors say the supply trucks haven't been able to reach them lately, so they would have to adapt the equipment to really replicate their situation. They turn off the lights and put away most of the equipment Owen got them. One of them then lights the fake patient with a little flashlight. The three Seattle doctors are a bit in shock to see how bad the situation is in Syria.

Shane approaches Derek with a coffee, saying he took care of Derek's post-ops. Heather comes over, ready to do Derek's post-ops. Shane smilingly tells her he already took care of them and that Rachel Dawson woke up. Heather and Derek then rush off to Rachel's room. Derek tells Shane to call Owen to tell him that Rachel woke up.

In a supply closet, Owen and Arizona tell the Syrian doctors to grab the stuff they still have in the field hospital and to put it in a box. Shane comes in asking for Owen.

Owen calms down Ethan before he enters his mother's room, as he was still worried over what happened last time. Derek, Heather and Owen are relieved to see that Rachel does recognize her son this time.

Derek goes to Meredith with the forms to change their will, sent by their lawyer. Derek expresses some doubt over the fact that Meredith wants Cristina as their children's guardian, as Cristina doesn't want kids, but Meredith assures him that Cristina will love them and take good care of them.

Callie tries to persuade Jackson to vote for her cartilage project. Alex and Richard ask if that's the way the board works and then asks for money for his own project. Cristina and Meredith enter the room and they take place on some chairs, ready to be informed by April, Owen and Arizona about the Syrian doctors. Owen asks the present attendings to teach the Syrian doctors the surgical procedures on a list, using only the supplies the Syrian doctors put in the box.

Leah informs Bailey on the patient with the infection and that there is another patient with a problem. She adds that she scrubbed in with Bailey on both surgeries and that she managed their post-op care. Bailey orders Leah to go through her notes on both patients on puts her on a time-out and puts Dr. Edwards on her service. Leah fears she may have something to do with the infection. Stephanie later talks to Leah about the patients with the infection, telling they both need surgery.

The attendings are in the skills lab to figure out how to do the procedures with the limited equipment. Callie and Jackson go to the Syrian doctors in another lab, as they are ready to teach some procedures. Owen asks Derek about Ethan's mother when Arizona comes in, telling Ethan's grandmother's flight got cancelled.

Bailey tells Steven, her patient's husband, that the infection is serious, but that she'll take care of it. Leah watches them talk, fearing she did something wrong and that she'll be fired.

Jackson and Callie are teaching the procedures to the doctors and they are shocked when they find out they don't have anesthesia in Syria.

April walks into Matthew's room, apologizing for not coming to visit him earlier. April starts to examine him as she thinks he can't walk, but he tells her he can walk and that the only reason his mother is coming to pick him up from the hospital is because he wants her to meet April.

Leah is talking about the fact that she was sick the day she operated on the patients with the infection, but Bailey walks out.

Meredith and Cristina are walking in the park, discussing Cristina tells Meredith she loves Zola but that she doesn't want to be her mother, only the cool aunt. Cristina says Zola still has a mother.

Shane asks Richard to check out a patient in the ER and rushes off when Derek asks for a MRI for one of his patients. Richard finds out that the man is third patient of Bailey's to come back with the post-operative infection.

Cristina and Meredith are teaching the Syrian doctors when April comes over to talk about Matthew. Meredith says she should tell the truth about her virginity. Callie is still teaching, but tries yet again to convince Jackson to vote for her cartilage project. One of the Syrian doctors talks with April about her relationship with Matthew.

Meredith tells Derek he was right about Cristina not wanting to be a mother and they go over all of Derek's sisters. They go through all of the lawyer's documents. Meredith tries to convince him to give her a lethal injection if she starts getting Alzeheimer's. 

Meredith and Bailey are operating on a patient with the infection, talking about Meredith's genome mapping and teaching the interns. Richard comes in, telling them there's a third patient with the infection. Richard tells Bailey she needs to talk to Owen about the infection.

The Syrian doctor and April are in the supply closet. He is enjoying the quiet.

Owen tells Ethan he'll have to go with the social worker.

Cristina is still teaching when Meredith walks in, persuading Cristina to give her a lethal injection when she gets Alzheimer's, as Derek wasn't willing to do it. 

April finally comes clean with Matthew about her virginity. Matthew is upset because she was more worried about him being angry at her instead of being honest with him.

Cristina tells Owen Paul Dawson hasn't woken up yet. Owen tells her that he, Cristina and Russell will meet the next day to discuss how to treat Paul, when Bailey comes over to talk to Owen about the infection. Owen tells Bailey they'll have to talk to infection control and that Leah has to find every patient she touched in post-operative care to call them in and examine them. Leah fears she'll be fired.

Cristina and Meredith talk about Leah and Owen being the Chief. 

Richard talks to Derek about Shane abandoning him to get Derek's MRI, when Shane comes over. Derek tells him he has to stop trying to please him all the time. Heather turns out to have an instinct for neuro, something Shane doesn't have. Derek says Shane needs to pick another specialty in which he can truly shine. Heather and Derek go over his patients.

Arizona is teaching when Owen tries to convince her to admit Ethan to keep him in the hospital. Alex comes over with the idea to pretend that Ethan is sick just to keep him in the hospital. Arizona refuses to take part in it.

Derek shows Meredith his genome mapping, showing he may get diseases as well. He tries to convince Meredith not to worry about the Alzheimer's too much.

April watches Matthew and his mother packing things up in his room.

Richard tries to convince Jackson to give him money for a project. They then share a conversation about having a lot of power in the hospital.

One Syrian doctor thanks Arizona for teaching her and makes her realize it's better for Ethan to keep him in the hospital. She decides to go with Alex's plan.

Owen comforts Ethan and makes sure Ethan knows he's not really sick. Ethan says he's worried about his parents, especially his father, who hasn't woken up yet. Cristina and Meredith watch them talk, when Leah beckons Meredith to tell her that she didn't touch the third patient with the infection.

Stephanie and Bailey rush to their patient, who is crashing. The patient's worried husband watches them run off.

April steals expensive equipment from the hospital and gives it to the Syrian doctors. 

Bailey tries to resuscitate her patient, but fails. 

The Syrian doctors leave the hospital.

The board and Owen are deciding what to do with the infection when Bailey enters the room. She tells the first patient didn't make it. Leah and Meredith show up and Bailey starts ranting to Leah. Meredith reveals Dr. Bailey is the only doctor who touched all three of the infected patients. Owen and the board members start making calls and giving orders. Owen asks Bailey to sit down. Meredith goes off to tell Joyce's husband that Joyce died. The board members and Owen look at Bailey, who realizes she's in serious trouble.


  • Meredith Grey
  • Cristina Yang
  • Alex Karev
  • Miranda Bailey
  • Richard Webber
  • Callie Torres
  • Owen Hunt
  • Arizona Robbins
  • April Kepner
  • Jackson Avery
  • Derek Shepherd
  • Shane Ross
  • Heather Brooks
  • Stephanie Edwards
  • Leah Murphy
  • Matthew Taylor
  • Syrian Doctor
  • Dr. Darwich
  • Rachel Dawson
  • Paul Dawson
  • Joyce Basche
  • Steven Basche
  • Ethan Dawson
  • Seth Lepik
  • Peds Nurse
  • Social Worker Carol

Main CastEdit

Guest StarsEdit


Medical NotesEdit

Meredith GreyEdit

  • Diagnosis:
  • Treatment:

Bailey informed Meredith that she had tested positive for more than one of the genetic markers for Alzheimer's.

Paul DawsonEdit

  • Diagnosis:
  • Treatment:
    • D50 Bolus

Paul was still unconscious after his therapeutic hypothermia. Cristina gave him a bolus of D50 to see if that would help.

Rachel DawsonEdit

  • Diagnosis:
  • Treatment:

Rachel Dawson woke up and was able to recognize her son again. Derek ordered an MRI for her.

Owen's PatientEdit

  • Diagnosis:
    • Burns
  • Treatment:

Stephanie delivered a tablet to Owen and said it was Jackson's opinion on his burn patient. Owen said it was fine and sent the tablet back.

Matthew TaylorEdit

  • Diagnosis:
    • Laceration
  • Treatment:

Matthew had to stay at the hospital overnight for observation because they were worried about concussion, but he was set to be discharged.

Joyce BascheEdit

  • Diagnosis:
    • Post-op infection
  • Treatment:
    • Dialysis graft
    • Cefazolin
    • Abscess

Joyce was feverish two weeks after a dialysis graft was placed. The graft site was also red and swollen. Bailey ordered cefazolin because she suspected a post-op infection. Her white count was high, so Bailey admitted her. They removed her shunt, which had a large abscess underneath it. Later, she crashed and was unable to be resuscitated.

Kathy DongEdit

  • Diagnosis:
    • Post-op infection
  • Treatment:

Kathy Dong was the second patient of Miranda Bailey to develop a post-op infection. When Bailey was revealed as the source of the infection, Webber took over her care.

Seth LepikEdit

  • Diagnosis:
    • Erythema
    • Swelling
    • Fever
    • Post-op infection
  • Treatment:
    • Arteriovenous shunt

Seth had erythema and swelling along a surgical site along with a fever after an arteriovenous shunt. He had a severe infection and was the third patient of Miranda Bailey to contract such an infection.

Ethan DawsonEdit

  • Diagnosis:
  • Treatment:

Owen went to Arizona and wanted to admit Ethan to peds for the night until his grandmother could come get him, but Arizona denied his request, despite Alex trying to say he had Short Limb Syndrome. After speaking to one of the Syrian doctors, Arizona ultimately agreed and Ethan was admitted to the hospital for the night.

Derek ShepherdEdit

  • Diagnosis:
  • Treatment:
    • Genome mapping

Derek had his genome mapped and showed Meredith the results.


Song Performer Scene
"The Day You Went Away" The Rubens
  • After a little hesitation, Bailey tells Meredith she tested positive for the Alzheimer's gene.
"Clair De Lune" Flight Facilities (feat. Christine Hoberg)
  • Matthew tells April he wants her to meet his mother.
  • Leah is talking to Bailey about a fever she had the day the infection was spread.
  • Cristina tells Meredith she doesn't want to be Zola's mother.
"My Number" Foals
  • Cristina and Meredith teaching the Syrian doctors.
  • April asks them whether or not she should come clean to Matthew about her virginity.
  • Callie tells Jackson her cartilage research is trending.
  • April and a Syrian doctor talk about her relationship with Matthew and the Syrian doctor's wife.
"Cold World" Jon E. K.
  • Owen tells Ethan he doesn't know if his dad will ever wake up.
  • Cristina finds out Ethan is the reason why Owen's been acting crazy lately.
  • Leah tells Meredith she's not the one to blame and shows her an electronic chart of one of the patients with the infection.
  • Stephanie tells Bailey Joyce is crashing and they run off with the husband watching them. 
  • April steals supplies from the hospital to give them to the Syrian doctors. 
  • Bailey tries to resuscitate Joyce Basche, unsuccessfully.
  • April says goodbye to the Syrian doctors.

Notes and TriviaEdit

Grey's Anatomy 9x20 "She Is Killing Me" Promo (HD)

Grey's Anatomy 9x20 "She Is Killing Me" Promo (HD)

  • This episode's title originated from the song She's Killing Me, originally sung by A Rocket to the Moon.
  • This episode scored 8.58 million viewers.
  • This episode takes place the day after the events of the previous episode as Owen mentioned Ethan stayed in the hospital overnight.
  • April finally confesses to Matthew that she isn't a virgin anymore.
  • Derek's genetic predisposition for heroin addiction is a possible nod to Amelia's struggle with sobriety.
  • The Seattle doctors will have to use the techniques they teach to the Syrian doctors themselves during the super storm, as the back-up generators shut down, leaving the hospital in the dark.
  • Alex wants money to take his orphan project global. Up to now, it only involves taking care of African kids.
  • Ellen Pompeo tweeted that this episode was her favorite season nine episode to film.


Episode StillsEdit


Meredith: Bailey, you're my mentor and my friend, and I respect your work, but I'm telling you, if you don't answer my question, I will punch you in the face.

Leah: Your hair looks really nice today.
Stephanie: My hair looks nice every day.
Leah: I'm on Bailey's...
Stephanie: No.

Bailey: What is this?
Leah: I don't know what that is.
Bailey: It is a crumb, and it was stuck to my laptop after you used it to update my notes right next to a splotch of what could either be pizza sauce or blood.
Leah: I think it's pizza.
Bailey: I was hoping it was blood, and you were dying and not just getting pizza all over my computer.

Derek: It's gonna take forever.
Cristina: Oh! Well, you try using this hand drill, Mr. Backseat driver.

Cristina: Of course I'll take Zola and fetus.
Meredith: That's what I told Derek.
Cristina: You're not shipping them off to Ohio or wherever his stupid sisters are from.
Meredith: I knew you would say that.
Cristina: I will oversee the most competent herd of child care professionals ever. I'll get only German nannies. They're super organized.
Meredith: I'm not sure a herd of German nannies is what I had in mind.
Cristina: Wait. You don't want me to be a stay-at-home mom?
Meredith: No.
Cristina: Yeah, 'cause you're not.
Meredith: Right, but Zola is at the day care here when we pick her up.
Cristina: Yeah, and you do 30% less surgeries than I do 'cause you're not putting in the hours anymore.
Meredith: You don't want to do this.
Cristina: Hey, I love Zola.
Meredith: I know you do. But you don't want to be her mom.
Cristina: No. You really hate those sisters?
Meredith: Kind of. Not all of them. Kathleen seems like a good mom. I mean, I don't want to hang out with her all the time, but her kids seem sane.
Cristina: Yeah, well, that's not nothing. Okay, how about this? You write in the will that I get your children three weeks every year. We'll travel. I'll take them to get their first tattoo, someplace clean. And I'll teach 'em how to put a condom on a cucumber.
Meredith: Okay.
Cristina: I will be the coolest aunt in the world. I just can't be a mom.
Meredith: Oh. They deserve a mom.
Cristina: They already have a mom.
Meredith: I know.
Cristina: You're not dying right now. You know that, right?

April: Matthew's mother is coming here. I can't meet her. I can't lie to a mother.
Meredith: Don't sell yourself short. You thought you couldn't lie to Matthew either, but somehow you had it in you.
Cristina: What kind of grown man gets his mommy to pick him up?
April: They have a good relationship. He respects women. He has good values.

April: You know what? He doesn't make fun of me. He thinks I'm brave. He likes it when I babble.
Cristina: He's a unicorn.

Derek: Well, it's a disaster plan. Most disasters don't happen.
Meredith: They do to us.
Derek: That's true. We have survived an unusual number of very bad things.

Meredith: We both know you're gonna give me a lethal dose of morphine the second I start to forget where my keys are. I'm not kidding. Before we knew my mother was sick, she couldn't remember anything I'd ever said to her. And I thought it was because she didn't give a crap about me. I don't want to put my kids through that. You'll give me a lethal dose, we'll hold hands, and I'll fade off into the night.
Derek: We will cross that bridge when we come to it.

Meredith: Promise me you'll kill me with a lethal injection before I start to forget where my keys are.
Cristina: Of course.
Meredith: Early. Not when I set the house on fire because I forgot to shut the stove off or when I'm sitting in the rocking chair in the corner of the nursing home. I don't want my kids to go through what I went through...
Cristina: Mer, you had me at "lethal injection".

April: We could get by without a lot of stuff, right?
Matthew: Sure. What exactly are we getting by without?
April: My virginity. I was a virgin for a really long time, and then I wasn't. Uh, I really wanted to wait for someone like you, for marriage, but I screwed up. And I was just... I was so scared to tell you. But then I was watching these guys today, and they literally have nothing left, and they're making do. And then I just felt like I was being so stupid to worry about this one little thing, like you couldn't even get over it.
Matthew: So... I guess I would be an ungrateful jerk if I worried about your virginity while there's a war going on somewhere and people are dying? That what you're saying to me?
April: No, no. I didn't...
Matthew: You didn't think I'd be more hung up on the lying? 'Cause I bet even in a war, people still value honesty.

Meredith: We may be losing Leah Murphy from the program.
Cristina: Did I like her?
Meredith: I think you said once that she didn't suck as much as you expected her to suck.
Cristina: Oh. That's too bad.

Derek: Shane, you have to stop. I am working with Brooks now.
Shane: Yeah, but she annoys you, doesn't she? I mean, you and I kind of get along.
Derek: Brooks has an instinct for this that you don't have. You make up for it with a ton of work.
Shane: Well, if I'm making up for it, who cares how?
Derek: I care. And you should, too. You should find a specialty where you shine.
Shane: This is what I'm passionate about. Doesn't that count for anything?
Derek: She's better at this than you are. And that means, to me, I have to teach her, not you. You're gonna be a great surgeon. Go figure out where.

Meredith: It's not gonna be easy on you if I start to lose it.
Derek: Oh, don't worry. You're a project even with all your marbles.

Richard: Um... son, nobody's ever saying yes to your proposal. You're the most powerful vote on the board. You're the person who says yes to other people's ideas. We still let you be a surgeon. Nobody wanted to take that away from you. But your project is this hospital.
Jackson: Yeah, it's exhausting sometimes.
Richard: Yeah. You know something I learned when I was the chief?
Jackson: What?
Richard: Somebody offers to buy you dinner while they talk your ear off about something you don't want to hear...
Jackson: You say yes.
Richard: Look at that. You're a natural.

Syrian Doctor: Dr. Kepner, you have given us piles of supplies already. This equipment is expensive.
April: Yeah. Yeah, but this will really help. Oh, and you should definitely take this. It's an infrascanner. It can detect a brain bleed.
Syrian Doctor: Are you sure this is all right? Perhaps you need to talk to Dr. Hunt.
April: Don't worry about it. Honesty's not all it's cracked up to be.

See AlsoEdit

A complete overview of this episode's crew can be found here.

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