Grey's Anatomy Universe Wiki

The dream is this - that we'll finally be happy when we reach our goals: find the guy, finish our internship, that's the dream. Then we get there. And if we're human, we immediately start dreaming of something else. Because, if this is the dream, then we'd like to wake up. Now, please!

The Other Side of This Life, Part 1 is the twenty-second episode of the third season and the 58th overall episode of Grey's Anatomy.

Short Summary[]

Addison leaves for warmer climes and to figure things out, Susan visits the clinic, and Cristina's perfect wedding is changed when her and Burke's mothers hit town.

Full Summary[]

Meredith is watching TV early in the morning. Alex and Izzie join her. They all can't sleep but they don't tell each other why.

Cristina wakes up from voices in the living room. She opens the door and finds Burke talking to their mothers. Cristina's mother tells her to stop lurking and say hello to her guests. Cristina does so, and notices the whole apartment is filled with flowers. Cristina asks what they're doing here so early. Jane Burke replies they should've been here six months ago. Helen, Cristina's mother, says her daughter doesn't know what it takes to plan a wedding. Burke gives her a mug of coffee and tells her to breathe.

Richard tells Derek the police still hasn't anything on Jane Doe, who's called Ava now, Derek says. Now that the rest of her medical problems are solved, Derek will look if he can do anything about the memory loss. Mark comes over, asking if anyone's seen Addison. Richard says she took a leave of absence. Mark doesn't know why. Derek jokingly questions what he did to her. Mark asks where she went, but Richard only knows Addison needed some time to be happy and free. Richard walks away, and so does Derek after giving Mark a meaningful look.

Addison is driving near the coastline, trying to keep her hair out of her face. She manages to do so using her sunglasses.

She parks her car in front of the Oceanside Wellness Group and gets out of her car. She checks the address she wrote down. She takes a moment to enjoy the sun and takes off her jacket as she enters the building.

Inside, she gets on the elevator. A man rushes in. They stand next to each other and Addison starts laughing. She tells him that were she comes from, elevators tend to be this kind of aphrodisiac. Get on, and you get all horny. The man gives her a weird look, so she clarifies she wasn't talking about them. She's just relieved to be on a not-horny elevator. Just get on and ride, without the sex. The man gives her a look before getting off the elevator. Addison tells herself she's becoming a crazy, inappropriately chatting freak. "Becoming? Seems like you're already there," a voice tells her. Addison looks around, but there's no one.

Callie bumps into Cristina, who weirdly greets her. Callie notices the mothers and asks if someone has bones that need resetting. Cristina then brings herself to say "bridesmaid." She explains the mothers have been talking on the phone and now they're here. "To plan the wedding," Helen clarifies. Jane says Cristina led them to believe they were friends. Callie laughs at first, but confirms when she sees Cristina's serious face. The mothers smile and Helen starts to measure Callie's body. Callie can't believe Cristina is actually asking her to be a bridesmaid, but Cristina is desperate.

Meredith walks up to Derek, and after a short conversation about his night, Meredith tells him the drowning was different for her than it was for him. She doesn't know how to explain, but she wants to be better now and she wants to let him in. Derek smilingly asks if she practiced it. With hand gestures, but she left those behind. She's just saying now is not the time to give up on her. He understands.

In L.A., the receptionist of Oceanside Wellness Group answers the phone. As he confirms an appointment, he checks out Naomi, one of the doctors working at the practice.

Addison arrives on the floor and sees a screen promoting a book. She laughs and walks up to the receptionist. She wants to tell him who she's looking for, but then sees Maya sitting in the waiting room. She can't believe how big Maya's gotten. Then Naomi, Maya's mother, comes over and tells Maya she's gonna be late for school. She then sees Addison, who hugs her. Addison is paying a surprise visit. She tells her she drove all the way to L.A. and had a psychotic breakdown in the elevator. Naomi doesn't seem too excited and tells Maya to get her backpack. She asks Addison what she wants. Addison missed her. Naomi finds this difficult to believe, as she hasn't heard anything from Addison for over a year, except for a Christmas card. She tried everything to contact Addison. Addison asks her to let it go, because she's been through a rough time after her divorce. Naomi informs her she got divorced as well. Addison can't believe she and Sam divorced. "Addison!" a man calls. It's Sam, who comes over after kissing Maya goodbye. He hugs Addison, who starts teasing him about his book, Body Language. A woman tells Dell, the receptionist, to push her appointment. She's going to rescue Cooper now. Sam introduces her as Violet, the practice's shrink. Violet walks down the stairs, mumbling she's Cooper's colleague, not his chauffeur. Sam enthusiastically starts talking about the practice, but Naomi asks to excuse them for a minute. She and Addison walk past Pete, the man Addison was on the elevator with. He asks Sam who the hot, possibly insane redhead is. "Don't even think about it," Sam says.

Entering Naomi's office, Addison says she can't believe Naomi is working with her ex-husband in a place where it's all about him. Naomi simply tells her it's a good book and they're still friends. That's healthy, she thinks. Addison asks what happened, but Naomi replies that the time they were close was back in med school, which is a long time ago. Addison says Naomi can't stay mad at her forever, she knows her. Naomi jokingly insults her, with Addison replying she missed her too. Now Naomi wants to know why she's really here. Addison replies Naomi is one of the best fertility specialists. Naomi understand she wants a baby. Addison smiles. She does.

Back in Seattle, Bailey finds Susan in the clinic. Susan has hiccups and acid reflux. The hiccups have stopped earlier, but they seem to be getting worse now. Bailey gives her chlorpromazine, which Susan thinks is a crazy person drug. It is an anti-psychotic, but it's also helpful with hiccups and if they don't stop, Susan soon will be a crazy person. Susan asks about Meredith, knowing she's really busy with the intern exam coming up. She tried to call her. Bailey doesn't reply, so Susan tells her the hiccups have stopped. Bailey says it's all due to the drug.

Addison is in the exam room with Naomi, telling her she always wanted a kid but now, she's not getting younger and she's post McDreamy and McSteamy. Naomi doesn't understand the Mc thing, but Addison tells her not to Mc-nickname anything ever again. A baby, that is the answer now. Find a sperm donor and get a baby. Naomi doesn't seem too enthusiastic about Addison's plan. Addison points out she got a baby too, but Naomi replies she did so with a husband. Therefore, Naomi is Addison's example. Naomi lists the tests they're going to do, including an antral follicle count. Addison can't believe she's really going to have a baby.

Sam is examining a patient who has had her fourth sports injury in three months. This time it was on the treadmill. Sam asks why she's pushing herself so hard. Kathy says she's a sexual person. Her husband hasn't slept with her for 18 months. She runs so she can devote her energy to that instead of sleeping with someone else or killing her husband. She asks if Sam would do it with her. Sam thinks she needs to see their therapist.

Violet picks up Cooper. She is not amused. He notices she was crying, but she dodges. She asks about his car. He met a girl on the Internet and she "borrowed" his car. Violet can't believe a stranger from the Internet stole from him again. She wonders what that says about him. He thinks it says that he believes there's a soulmate out there for him, which makes Violet cry. He tells her she deserves better than Allan. She knows that and claims she's not crying about him.

Izzie switched her hours at the clinic so she can come to the bridal shop with Cristina and Meredith. She's excited because she loves weddings. They are all about the future. Callie comes up to say she also moved a surgery so she can come, but she has some ground rules about the bridesmaid look. Cristina says that is the right attitude. Meredith walks off to join her father, who's on his way to Susan in the clinic. Izzie can't believe that Callie is also a bridesmaid.

Alex is walking with Ava. They talk about how cute her kid is. Ava asks about Addison. Alex says she was too serious about the whole thing. Ava wonders what he told her to make her take off, but he prefers to focus on the walking.

In his office, Addison softly slaps Sam for divorcing Naomi, her best friend. She asks if he cheated. Sam says he who smelt it, dealt it, adding he knows about her cheating. If she wants details, she'll have to get them from Naomi. Addison says she's not talking. She missed Sam. He also missed her. Sam knows Naomi has known her longer, so she gets custody of Addison in the divorce.

Addison was planning on going to the beach and read trashy novels, but Naomi invites her to hang out here and see how they work. They also have an empty office. They have cute boys and sunshine here. Addison tells her the receptionist is tracking Naomi with his eyes. Naomi tells her to shut up. She walks up to the desk and tells Dell to stop watching her like that. He says she can't make rules about his eyes. Noises of a fight draw all the doctors out of their offices.

Cooper is breaking up a fight between three men. They are fighting over who's the father of a baby. Cooper gets punched in the process.

The hiccups have returned. Susan says it's a silly problem, so they didn't want to bother Meredith. She says it's serious if it's preventing her from sleeping. Since the chlorpromazine obviously won't work as a long-term solution, Bailey suggests endoscopic gastroplication. Meredith explains it. It would be an outpatient procedure. Susan says she's sold.

Naomi tries to understand the situation. Carol was married to Rick, but now she's married to Doug. Rick is now married to Keith. Jim is Lisa's husband. Lisa herself is the surrogate who was chosen by Carol and Rick when they were married. Violet reminds the screaming parents that they are in a place of healing. She asks Lisa how she's feeling, but Lisa starts sobbing. Carol tells Violet Lisa is feeling guilty. Carol explains that in the week of the insemination, Lisa had sex with Rick, Doug, and Jim. They don't know who the father is.

The doctors gather in the conference room of the practice. Violet screened Lisa, but there was nothing to indicate that she was so sex-crazed. Naomi thinks that medically, it has to be Rick's baby, because they implanted Carol's egg that was fertilized by Rick's sperm. Pete is treating Doug for anxiety and stress. He knew Doug was fooling around, but he didn't know it was with the surrogate. Addison says the most important thing is that Lisa hasn't had any prenatal care. She asks who the usual OB/GYN is. Sam says she left the practice rather suddenly. They all look at Pete, who claims he didn't do anything. Addison offers to examine Lisa. Cooper tries to flirt with Addison, but it gives them an idea of why he has to meet women on the Internet. Sam says they have a no consorting policy now. Pete repeats he didn't do anything.

Bailey and George are doing the procedure on Susan. He thinks Meredith should be here, but Bailey says she's with her father, who's experiencing a lot of anxiety now. George wonders if Meredith's any help with that.

Meredith tells her father there's nothing to worry about. Thatcher says he worries about Molly living in a new city with the baby and Lexie, who's about to start her residency. Meredith knows how gruelling that is. He says he worries about how Meredith's getting on, too. Meredith knows that Susan's really on him to talk to her. Thatcher admits he's envious that Susan's getting to know her while he's not there yet. He thinks Susan may be faking these hiccups to get the two of them in the same place.

Kathy and her husband Paul are in therapy with Violet. He wishes he wanted to do it with Kathy, but he doesn't. Violet gives him homework for their next session. He has to have sex with his wife, whether he's in the mood or not. No pressure, no expectations, they just have to do it.

Pete and Sam are walking the latter's dog. They agree they need a new OB/GYN and Pete likes Addison. Sam tells him no. Addison is a decent person. Pete says he's looking for a person and at least he's trying. Sam gets recognized by two women. They love him. Pete and Sam continue walking after greeting them. Pete thinks Sam should be celebrating now that his career is taking off and women are throwing themselves at him. Sam says he just got a divorce. It's his choice to be alone. Pete wonders why he can't have Addison if Sam doesn't want her. Sam says she's a commitment woman. Pete says he doesn't sleep around. Sam agrees, but he thinks Pete is a serial monogamist. He runs when things get serious. Sam lists all the women Pete had a thing with. Pete then says he won't ask out Addison.

Addison is doing an ultrasound on Lisa, who knows Naomi is on Carol's side. Naomi says Carol is her patient. Lisa chose to be a surrogate. She was about to hand her body over to a baby that's not hers. That responsibility hit her hard and all the men wanted her. For once, she stopped thinking and did something wild. Addison is alarmed by something she sees. She'll run more tests.

Meredith's walking with her father, who's pushing Susan's wheelchair. Susan promises to take it easy. Thatcher cautiously hugs Meredith, who tells them they are welcome to call her if they have questions. Thatcher says it was nice talking to her and then walks off with Susan.

Izzie and George end up on an elevator. George has applied for the Mercy West spot and it's looking good. George says he's not a cheater. Izzie wonders if he thinks it'll happen again if he stays here with her. He doesn't know. He gets off the elevator, ignoring her wanting to talk.

Violet tells Sam about the assignment she gave Paul, but it didn't work. She hopes there is a physiological explanation because she hates to think that Paul just doesn't love Kathy anymore. Cooper jokes that Paul might find Kathy ugly. Sam promises to get back to Violet after examining Paul. Violet then tells Cooper that ugly people have sex, too.

Addison leaves the practice. In the elevator, she keeps saying "hello" to see if the voice will answer, to no avail.

Mark finds Alex and wonders why he filled out an EEG request on Ava. Alex says Derek asked a complete neuro work-up. He starts telling Mark to get off his back, but stops mid-sentence. Mark tells him to finish, because he would love an excuse to lay him out. Alex says he didn't do anything. Mark says that whatever he didn't do sent Addison running for the hills.

Addison is going over sperm donors at Naomi's house. She has found a nice one. Naomi asks about Lisa's tests. Addison says they'll get the results tomorrow. Naomi asks Addison if she's sure she wants to do this, because her life will change. Addison says that's why she's doing this. She needs her life to change. She says Naomi didn't wait, she did everything like it's supposed to. Naomi says maybe she should have waited. She did everything the way she was supposed to. She never dated anyone but Sam and she had a baby because that's what you do. Then Sam came home asking for a divorce. She's 38 years old and she does not know how to have fun. That's sad, not lucky. Addison mocks her and reminds her how talented she is. Naomi wishes she had been a little more like Addison.

Violet is at the supermarket when she sees Allan. She tries to hide, but he sees her. She says it's great to see him and claims she's doing great. Allan says he saw her and didn't want to be rude. He looks wonderful, she says. A younger woman comes up and she introduces herself as Cami, Allan's wife. She's stil not used to that word. Violet asks how long they have been married. Cami says 8 weeks. Violet congratulates them and keeps staring at them. The newlyweds walk off.

The next morning, Addison walks into the practice kitchen and announces that Lisa's baby has placenta accreta. It makes delivery dangerous for both mother and baby. The weird thing is that the baby has genetic markers that don't match Carol's. The embryo didn't implant, which means that paternity is once again up for grabs. Addison wants to go to the beach, but Cooper asks her to tell Lisa since he has low people skills with people older than 12. Violet confirms this and shares that an Internet hooker stole his car.

Cooper, Sam, and Pete are checking Cooper's car. It was found, but the hand sewn leather seats are amongst the missing parts. His car was a single guy's car. He was pretty attached to SexyBoobs316. Pete and Sam pretend he's crying over the car rather than over her.

Burke arrives at the bridal shop. As Cristina walks up to him, the mothers agree she looks good in the dress she's wearing. Cristina paged him here. She clarifies she is not wearing this dress. His mother booked a chapel that sits 200 people. She also hates the candy cotton color bridesmaids dresses. She asks what happened to their small ceremony. He didn't think she was serious about that.

Meredith gets paged to the hospital. Callie thinks she and Izzie need to distance themselves from Cristina and Burke in order to give them some privacy. Izzie is not too happy to be alone with Callie, but she concedes.

Cristina is surprised to find out that Burke wants a big, traditional wedding. He's a traditional man. Jane Burke comes up to tell Cristina there's another bunch of dresses they want her to see. Cristina walks off. Jane tells her son that Cristina has made quite an effort. It could not have been easy for her. Burke knows she seems disinterested in the wedding, but he assures her she's not cold. Jane trusts his instincts.

The doctors and possible parents are gathered in the conference room. Carol is shocked that she's not involved. Lisa asks if she can keep the baby, which Violet confirms. Cooper says they have to wait until after the delivery to find out who the father is. Addison says more urgent is the placenta accreta, which could lead to severe bleeding or preterm delivery. There is a risk of death. Addison tells her she will need a C-section if she goes into preterm labor so they have a better chance of saving her life and her uterus. Lisa wants Addison.

Sam is examining Paul, who starts crying as soon as Sam mentions Kathy. She didn't come home last night and he fears she's with another guy. Sam comforts him by saying there are plenty of reasons for low sex drive. Kathy then comes in apologizing. Paul asks where she was. She replies she was out all night. She had the chance to cheat, but she passed. She's stuck with him. Paul starts sobbing. Kathy goes to the waiting room. Paul hugs Sam and wonders what he has to do. Sam says he'll draw some blood.

Mark asks Derek what Addison might be doing in Los Angeles. Derek says Sam and Naomi are down there. Mark tells Derek that he and Addison were going to give them as a couple a real chance. He tells Derek about the bet and surprises him by saying Addison was the one who couldn't do it. Mark thought Addison maybe wanted to be with him, but turns out she doesn't. He caught her sleeping with someone else. Derek can't help but gloat. He can relate. Mark then says he told Addison he lost the bet, because he figured that Addison shouldn't feel guilty about not wanting to be with him. Derek says being selfless is out of character for Mark. Mark agrees.

Addison stops by Naomi's office to tell her she's finally going to the beach. Naomi stops her because her test results came in. Addison says that is good news, because she decided to go for the physicist guy. Naomi tells her her FSH level is high and her antral follicle count is only two. Naomi did all the tests, but there is no fertility potential here. Addison is shocked. She had a great guy and didn't have a baby because she was focusing on her career, and then she had another guy and didn't have his baby because he was not the great guy and now she has neither guy and no chance of getting a baby. That is so exactly what her life is. Naomi says there are other options. She knows how much Addison wanted this. Addison says it's okay. She just didn't realize she was out of time. She tells Naomi she'll see her at home and leaves the office.

An emotional Addison gets on the elevator. "Looks like you had a bad day," the voice says. Addison says not today. This is not a good day, so the voice needs to shut up. She slides down to the floor and tries to gather herself.


Main Cast[]

Special Guest Stars[]

Guest Stars[]



Medical Notes[]


  • Diagnosis:
  • Treatment:

Ava still couldn't remember who she was, so Derek agreed to look a little harder now that her other health issues were cleared up.

Susan Grey[]

  • Diagnosis:
    • Acid reflux
    • Persistent hiccuping
  • Treatment:
    • Chlorpromazine
    • Endoscopic gastroplication

Susan came into the hospital with acid reflux and persistent hiccups. Bailey gave her some chlorpromazine, which stopped the hiccups temporarily. When they came back, Bailey suggested endoscopic gastroplication. She had that procedure and was sent home.

Addison Forbes Montgomery[]

  • Diagnosis:
    • Infertility
  • Treatment:

Addison decided she wanted to have a baby, so she had Naomi run tests on her. Her FSH was high and her follicle count was only two, meaning she was functionally infertile.


  • Diagnosis:
    • Knee injury
  • Treatment:

Kathy got a knee injury by falling off a treadmill. It was her fourth sports injury in three months, which raised Sam's suspicions. When she confessed that she and her husband weren't having sex, he referred her to Violet.

Callie's Patient[]

  • Diagnosis:
    • Torn ACL
  • Treatment:
    • ACL repair

Callie rescheduled an ACL repair in order to go to the bridal shop with Cristina.

Ava's Baby[]

  • Diagnosis:
  • Doctors:
  • Treatment:

Ava's baby was staying in the hospital with her.


  • Diagnosis:
    • Pregnancy
    • Placenta accreta
  • Treatment:
    • Prenatal care
    • Amniocentesis

Lisa was pregnant. She was supposed to have been a surrogate, but after the implantation, she slept with three other men, leaving the question of if the implantation took or if she got independently pregnant. Seeing that she hadn't had any prenatal care, Addison started that for Lisa. Addison diagnosed Lisa with placenta accreta, which would make delivery dangerous for Lisa.


  • Diagnosis:
    • Anxiety
    • Stress
  • Treatment:
    • Valerian root

Doug was seeing Pete for anxiety and stress, for which Pete prescribed valerian root.


  • Diagnosis:
    • Decreased libido
    • Erectile dysfunction
  • Treatment:

After a session with Violet, Paul was told to have sex with his wife, even if he wasn't in the mood. When he had erectile dysfunction, Violet suspected a physical cause and referred him to Sam.


Song Performer Scene
"Sealion" Feist
  • Meredith is watching TV on the couch at 3 AM when she's joined by Izzie and Alex.
  • Cristina wakes up to laughing and goes out of the bedroom to see Burke with both their mothers.
  • They're in town for the wedding planning. Burke tells Cristian to breathe.
"Lost" The Mary Onettes
"Down in the Valley" The Broken West
  • Dell answers the phone at Oceanside as he watches Naomi.
  • Addison laughs at a slideshow of Sam with his book.
  • Addison goes to ask Dell about Naomi, but she sees Maya in the lobby.
  • Naomi is surprised to see Addison.
"Message From Yuz" Switches
  • The doctors at the practice all go to the conference room when they hear yelling.
  • There's an argument over whose baby Lisa was carrying.
"Los Angeles" The Rosewood Thieves
  • Violet tells Paul to have sex with his wife.
  • Pete and Sam walk Thurgood Marshall and talk about Addison.
  • Sam says he's not ready to move on from Naomi.
"California Sun" Jem Griffiths
  • Addison and Naomi talk about Naomi's life.
  • Violet sees Allan at the grocery store. She learns that Allan is married now.
"Not Having It" The Adored
  • Cooper finds his car stripped at a junkyard. He starts crying over the woman who stole it.
"Turpentine" Brandi Carlile
  • Addison says she's going to the beach, but Naomi has her test results.
  • Naomi tells Addison she's basically infertile. Addison is upset by the news.
  • Addison gets on the elevator and yells at the "elevator God" and starts crying.

Notes and Trivia[]

  • This episode's title originated from the song The Other Side of This Life, originally sung by Jefferson Airplane.
  • This episode scored 21.23 million viewers.
  • This episode is told to be the backdoor pilot for spin-off Private Practice.
  • This episode (and the second part) features a guest appearance by Bellamy Young, who portrays First Lady Mellie Grant in Shonda Rhimes's other TV show Scandal.
  • This is the first episode to feature non-flashback scenes that do not take place in the Seattle area.
  • There was no separate Grey Matter blog post made for this episode, but there is one on the two-part episode.
  • This episode features Merrin Dungey, David Anders and Raphael Sbarge, who would later go on to appear on ABC's Once Upon a Time.


Episode Stills[]


Addison: You work with your ex-husband in a shrine for your ex-husband.
Naomi: It's actually a good book. And we're friends. And we stayed friends after we divorced. It's very healthy. We're healthy.
Addison: What happened between you and Sam?
Naomi: Addison – you and I were close in med school, but it was a long time ago.
Addison: Oh, Naomi. Come on, you can't stay mad at me forever. I know you.
Naomi: You got fat.
Addison: I did not!
Naomi: Your hair is hideous.
Addison: It is not!
Naomi: And you're getting really, really ugly.
Addison: Aww. I missed you too.

Callie: Okay. I rescheduled an ACL repair, but I wanna be clear: I will not be wearing pink or baby blue. I do not do flowers in my hair. And I will never be seen with a bow on my ass, okay?
Cristina: See? She's got the right attitude.

(Addison slaps Sam's head)
Sam: Ow!
Addison: Idiot. You divorced Naomi?
Sam: Just mind your own business.
(slaps Sam's head again)
Sam: Ouch!
Addison: Moron. She's my best friend.
Sam: Stop hitting me on top of my head.
Addison: Did you cheat? [goes in to hit Sam again]
Sam: Okay. [catches her hand] Two things I learned back in kindergarten. One – keep your hands to yourself. Two – he who smelt it, dealt it.
Addison: That makes no sense.
Sam: Yeah. Well, you cheated. You cheated on your husband with his best friend. There. Smelt it, dealt it. It works.
Addison: You're using fart logic!
Sam: Hey, you want details, go see Naomi.
Addison: She won't talk about it.
Sam: Ah. Then you get no details.
Addison: I'm on her side, you know that?
Sam: That's why you get no details.
Addison: (puts her fists on the desk) Details!
Sam: Woman, be quiet.
(both grin)
Addison: I missed you.

See Also[]

A complete overview of this episode's crew can be found here.