The Road You Didn't Take is the seventeenth episode of the fifth season and the 76th overall episode of Station 19.
Short Summary[]
Vic and Theo respond to a domestic disturbance between the parents of a trans teenager. Jack learns shocking new details about his childhood, and Ben and Travis help a clinic patient that's long overdue for medical treatment.
Full Summary[]
Jack and Andy drive in silence. They stop at a gas station. Jack goes inside as Andy's phone rings. It's Luisa, who asks where she is. She tells Luisa that she's on a mini-road trip with a friend but will be home by the end of the day. Luisa tells her the firefighters' union has agreed to let her friends testify as character witnesses. Andy is shocked it was even a question, but Luisa says it means the union is supporting her instead of staying on the sidelines like the department. As Andy hangs up, Jack comes back outside with the snacks he bought. She's not happy that he chose to get pork rinds. He wonders if his brother likes pork rinds. He wants to put that on the list of the fun facts he made about himself so they could compare. He's been reading a book on fetal development and knows that preferences start in the womb and he figures since they shared the same one, there might be some similarities. Andy asks why he's reading a book on fetal development and he stumbles for a moment before saying it's just a great read and he'll let her borrow it when he's done.
Vic and Theo find Ben making breakfast. Vic explains to Theo why they call Ben Dad. Ben says they're celebrating because they sign Pru papers tomorrow. They're celebrating when Maya and Carina come in. Maya asks what they're celebrating. Ben explains and they join the celebration. Ben says they'll have a party soon. Ben asks about what kind of eggs everyone wants and Carina gags a little before excusing herself, saying she's going to set up the clinic, and leaving, followed by Maya. Theo tells Ben that after his dad died in the line of duty, one of his teammates stepped up and took Theo under his wing, which saved his life. He thinks what Ben and Bailey are doing is amazing.
As they start gathering supplies, Maya asks if they're telling people why eggs are making Carina sick. Conventional wisdom says to wait until she's pregnant and then until she's out of the first trimester, but they team knew they were looking for donors and then all three of them were out on the same day. Carina wonders if people suspect they're using Jack. Maya doesn't think anyone would believe Carina would allow that. Carina suggests they talk to Jack first, but she also doesn't believe in waiting until the end of the first trimester, thinking it's a patriarchal holdover to keep women from leaning on each other in case of miscarriage. Carina gets a notification on her phone and checks it to see that her green card appointment is in three weeks. She and Maya celebrate and Maya says there are so many reasons to eat bacon.
Ross sees Beckett reading a newspaper and drinking some coffee. He's reading about Dixon's past misdeeds. Ross hasn't been in Seattle long, but even she knows he would be poison to the city. They're united by a common enemy. Ross apologizes for the accusations made against him, but he says that's between him and his team, so they're good. He asks if she's going to come to every clinic day, or just the ones where Sullivan is working. She tells him she supports all her stations and another comment like that will get him written up. She greets the team as they come in to set things up. Ben offers her breakfast, but she already had a protein shake. She asks if Maya, Carina, and Ben will walk her through the med stations later, as there's a board meeting coming up and she'd like to be able to talk about the clinic adeptly. Sullivan offers to show her through patient check in, but she says there's no need.
Andy says the radio's broken so either they talk or she's going to start singing. She knows he's nervous. It feels weird even to say the word brother, because Dean was his brother and Ben is his brother. He just shares some DNA with this guy. Andy says it's still a piece of the puzzle. He never thought he'd meet someone from his bio family. He never let himself think about it, but now it's all he can think about. He wonders so many things. He hopes the brother didn't grow up like him, but if he did, it'll be nice to have someone who gets it. Andy says they can leave at any time, no questions asked. Jack asks about her reuniting with her mom. She says she spent two years believing she never wanted to see her again, until she showed up at Andy's front door. She spent her whole life trying to put together the puzzle and she couldn't and always thought that was her fault. But she just didn't have all the pieces. Jack says he hates puzzles because he's terrible at them.
Vic asks Carina if they're going to have a big burgers, beer, and bald eagles party when she gets her green card. Carina says that'll come with citizenship, which will take another few years. Theo remembers when his mom took that test. She kept quizzing him. He never could have passed the test. Carina's just happy to be able to leave the country again. Carina asks how it's going with Vic and Theo working together. They say it's been great. They get a call from Crisis One, which is Vic and Theo.
Andy knows Jack is tense. They're ten minutes away and he doesn't know what to expect. Andy knows the feeling. Jack makes an off-color joke about her going to jail because he's too nervous to edit. Andy suggests they scream to get it all out before they get there.
Vic and Theo arrive at the scene, followed by Clarke Wright, who introduces himself as a social worker and Crisis One volunteer. Clarke tells them a neighbor called in a domestic dispute. They can hear Bryan and Jane fighting. They approach and Jane says Bryan is her ex-husband and he took their daughter from her home in Florida in the middle of the night a few days ago. Bryan tries to interject, but they ask him to let her continue. She says she tracked her daughter's phone to find them. Just as Theo asks her daughter's name, the child appears, telling his mom that his name is Matt.
As they continue to set up, Maya asks a passing Carina what color her toothbrush is. Carina says she'll never pass if they ask that. Maya says it's turquoise and Carina's is pink. Carina says there's something a little bit wrong with Maya for knowing that. Travis asks if that's really part of the interview and Maya says it is. Travis thinks it's ridiculous that so much effort goes into keeping immigrants out and other programs get told they're not important. Maya doesn't like it either, but they don't make those decisions. Travis says the Dixons of the world do. Erroll comes in then, asking if this is where the clinic is. Maya says yes and asks how they can help. His leg has been getting harder and harder to walk on, so they lead him to a bay.
Andy finishes her snack and Jack says there's more in the back. She's surprised to see that he brought his awards. He just wants his brother to know he made something of himself. Andy's surprised Jack didn't google his brother to find out what kind of person he is. He wants an honest first impression. Andy finds a bag labeled "healthy sperm snacks" and asks him about it. He stumbles a bit, telling her what's in the mix, but she points to the word sperm, clarifying exactly what she was asking. He reluctantly admits that he's helping Maya and Carina conceive. She's shocked because they had a pact. He assures her it's not violating their pact because he's doing it in a cup and it's not complicated or messy because they talked about it so much that he almost didn't want to do it anymore to stop the talking. Andy doesn't think that's true. He says it might be complex, but it's not messy. He's happy with it. Andy says they had a pact, but she still flirted and kissed Jeremy. They made the pact because she always picks bad guys. Jack says that's not why that happened. It happened because Jeremy's a predator. Nothing that happened was her fault. Andy looks at Jack and says she doesn't always pick bad guys. They're almost to their destination.
Ben asks Sullivan is there's a reason Ross has been cold to him. Sullivan pretends not to know anything, but Ben knows that's not true. Sullivan finally admits they were in the Marines together. The bond is deep, but she promoted him because she trusts him. She just doesn't want it to seem like anything other than that. Ben asks if it's truly not because he's trying to become captain by taking down an innocent man. Sullivan says Beckett's not innocent. He was clean because he wasn't drunk that day.
Erroll groans in pain as Travis unwraps his foot. Travis is shocked when two of Erroll's toes fall to the ground. He calls for Ben, who is also shocked.
Travis asks Erroll if he's diabetic. Erroll doesn't think so, but doesn't know for sure. His toes started to turn a while back, but he thought it was just bad circulation. Ben checks and he has no sensation in his foot. Maya pricks his finger to check his blood sugar while Ben goes to check the other foot, which also shows signs of foot disease. He tells them it's diabetic neuropathy and foot disease until proven otherwise. He needs to be moved to Grey Sloan. He tries to get up because he doesn't have insurance. Ben says they'll worry about that later, but for now, he needs not to lose more toes.
Jack and Andy stand outside the house and look up. Andy knows he's nervous, but they need to do more than stare. It's a really nice house and Jack wonders what he does. Andy approaches the house and a man opens the door before she gets there. Joshua Hill awkwardly introduces himself. It's weird for both of them. He assumes Andy is Jack's wife, but they correct him, stumbling a bit before settling on saying they work together as firefighters. He says he should get them to check his smoke detectors. He then leads them around the house to the back, saying his family is inside and they're loud.
Bryan says that when they divorced, Jane threw her world's best mom mug at his head. He tells Jane that their son told them who he is and wonders why she can't listen. Jane persists in misgendering Matt. Bryan says that Matt came out to them a few years and Jane enrolled him in a beauty pageant. Bryan knows he should have taken Matt away right then, but he thought she'd come around. It would have been nice to navigate this with someone else who understood what he was going through. It's hard to parent a child in a world that's committed to rejecting him every single step. They watch as a truck pulls up and Randall, Jane's new husband, gets out. When Randall calls Matt "our daughter," Matt insists that he's not his dad. He asks Vic not to make him go back.
Ross takes pictures of the clinic on her phone. Sullivan approaches and she mostly ignores him. She's taking pictures for the board meeting to show them how busy it is and see if they can get more funding. She walks away and Carina approaches. He heard she got her interview and congratulates her. She mostly ignores him, so he asks if she still doesn't like him. She didn't say that, but her body language is. Carina asks if Ross is mad at him, because she's reading body language, too. She asks if he's planning any more of his moves. He got Maya demoted, then he got a promotion, then he tried to get Beckett out. She just wants to make sure his future moves don't involve her life because it's important to Carina that Maya is happy. They're building a life and a family together. Sullivan says he's just looking out for the team that he cares about.
Joshua offers them drinks and snacks. Jack asks Joshua what he does and he says he works in finance. He describes his job as taking money and making it into more money. Jack says he had a friend who used to do that. Andy likes the snacks and asks about them. Joshua says his wife and kids took up baking during the pandemic and kept it up. Even he gets involved. He and Lulu made those cookies. Laura is his eldest child. She hates her name even though she loves his aunt, whom she was named after. He has two kids and his wife is pregnant with the third, which will be their last. A kid for each bedroom is the plan. Jack says the house is nice. Joshua fell in love with the house when he saw it because it looked so much like the one he grew up in. His parents had to help with the down payment. Jack asks if he grew up in a nice house and had a good childhood and he says he did. He played Little League. He asks about Jack. Jack says no, but it's fine. The system is tough. But it sounds like Joshua got adopted by some great people. Joshua says he wasn't adopted. Their parents raised him.
Joshua says their mom got pregnant with Jack in high school. She was pretty far along before anyone noticed. She was terrified. Their parents were both raised poor and conservative. They wanted him to have a better life than they could give him. They didn't expect that they would get married and raise a family together. Dad's retired now after being a superintendent. Mom's a teacher, but only part-time. She does crafts with the kids. Jack asks if he knew about him. Joshua says when the results came back, he, Vivian, Brooke, and Abby confronted their parents together and they admitted to everything. Jack realizes Joshua has more siblings. He says they wanted to meet him, too, but they didn't want him to be overwhelmed. Their mom said she didn't even know where he was and if she did, it wouldn't be right to uproot his life like that. They want to meet him, but wanted him to stress that it's Jack's choice. Andy sees that Jack is struggling and says they'll leave. She helps Jack get up. Joshua apologizes, saying he didn't know how to do this. He did it because it sounded like Jack really needed and Joshua wanted him to know he had a family out there that wanted to meet him to. Jack doesn't say anything as Andy leads him away.
Erroll asks if they can put his toes back on at the hospital and Ben says it's unlikely because the tissue is dead. Erroll wonders how this happened so fast without him knowing. He didn't have insurance, so he ignored the symptoms he had. The foot has been tingly and numb for a few months, but it never felt like something worth going into debt over. He was a toll booth worker before they made them all computers. Ben says he's calling an aid car to take Erroll to the hospital. Erroll starts to worry about the cost. Travis says all their services are free, but Erroll's worried about what comes next. Travis promises to help him figure it out.
Matt doesn't know how to explain to his mother that he's a boy. He just knows and always has. She always tried to make excuses for all the things he did. But she doesn't understand that it wouldn't matter if he wore dresses or makeup because he'd still be a boy. If he goes back, he'll be forced to go through a female puberty that'll make him feel worse. He's scared he won't survive it. Clarke informs them that Bryan has been awarded full custody and Officer Marinis says the kidnapping charges have been dropped. Matt asks if he can talk to his dad. Clarke says he's inside filling out an incident report. As he goes, though, Jane grabs him and forces him into Randall's truck.
Vic, Theo, Clarke, and Officer Marinis race over to the truck as Randall prepares to drive away and stop him. They get Matt back out of the car and to his dad and then Jane and Randall are arrested. Jane begs Matt to say it's a misunderstanding, but Matt just says he's sad that she won't get to know the man he's becoming. She's going to miss out on loving the real him. Jane says she's trying to save him, that he doesn't know what's good for him. Matt says her calling him his deadname makes him want to die and that can't be good for him. As they're driven away, Matt hugs his dad. Vic tells him he was really brave to say that to his mom. She offers him additional support, saying Station 19 has clinic hours. As they go to leave, Clarke gives them brochures with other resources. Theo then turns around and tells them they might want to consider relocating and changing their phone numbers so Jane can't find them again, because people who have been told they're wrong, but think they're right can be dangerous. Vic says it sounds like he's speaking from experience, but he doesn't answer.
As they clean up the clinic, Ben comes in and says Erroll has been admitted to Grey Sloan. Sullivan wonders how you can watch your toes turn to mush and not get help. Carina says he obviously needs mental health care as well. Travis is upset that it came to this and rants about how the broken system won't provide that either. Erroll didn't get his diabetes checked out until his toes fell off because he didn't want to go into debt. Without the clinic, what would happen to him and all the others. Ben says they have the clinic, but Travis says if Dixon is elected mayor, he's going to shut it down. He rants about people making things worse. Maya says he won't win, but Travis thinks he could easily win. Travis is a great problem solver, but he can't fix this. They suggest that he run for mayor, but he's terrified that he might win. Carina thinks he should do it. She would vote for him, but she doesn't even have her green card yet. Maya wonders if he's really serious about it. He says he might run just to make sure Dixon doesn't get elected. Carina thinks he would win. It's crazy, but the world is crazy.
Andy drives herself and Jack back home. Suddenly, his truck gets a flat, forcing her to pull off the road. Jack angrily starts to replace it. It's even worse after the day they've had. Jack wonders what the point of any of this is. They thought they were protecting him by staying away, which is a joke. Andy says what they did has nothing to do with who he is. Jack injures himself when he hits the rim with the tire iron. Andy gives him an ice pack and he says he needed protection and someone to bake cookies with. Joshua got to have everything he needed. He didn't have to suffer, didn't get passed from predator to predator. Their parents didn't want him. Andy holds Jack as he starts to cry.
As they ride back to the station, Vic asks if Theo's going to tell her or if she has to beg. Theo says he had a friend as a kid named Angel, his favorite person. Angel used to do puppet shows with puppets he made out of old cans that were so funny. When they were in high school, Angel's parents walked in on him kissing another boy. His father beat him up and his mother told him to leave their house and never come back. Angel was so funny and smart and a good friend. His parents put love into him to make him that way, but then there was one part of him they couldn't accept or understand and they threw him out with the trash, in Jesus's name. He slept on Theo's floor for a few weeks, but then his dad showed up at Theo's with a shotgun. Theo's parents tried to talk to him, but his dad wanted him out of town. If they were't going to love their kid, no one else could either. People are so stuck on their ideas of right and wrong and can't see that it's wrong to hate their own child. Vic asks what happened to Angel. Theo says he never heard Angel laugh again. They wrecked him. They poured all that love into him and then wrecked him.
Andy and Jack are back on the road. Andy asks if he told anyone else what happened to him. He says he did, but they just moved him to another home. He wanted to meet Joshua so bad becuase his childhood sucked and he thought he could borrow some of his memories. Andy hates that no one protected Jack and that the person who abused him got away with it. Jack says they always do. And for every one of him, there's a dozen other kids who never said anything because they thought it was their fault. That's why predators do what they do. And they keep getting away with it because the kids carry the shame that belongs to them. He tells Andy there are more of him. Whenever he'd get moved, they'd put another kid in their place. The system kept giving the abusers more victims. And chances are Jeremy has gone to others what he tried to do to her. Andy realizes he's right. They have to find them and get them to come forward. She wonders how they find them, but Jack has no idea. Andy feels lucky that Jack is her brother.
Maya comes home. She puts her bag down and then goes over to the bed, where she wakes Carina with a kiss. Maya tells Carina that whatever she said to Sullivan scared him. Carina says that's good because she's sick of his moves. Maya doesn't think the Beckett thing is a move because he's definitely an alcoholic, but Sullivan is sleeping his way to the top. Carina tells Maya she'll get back there. Carina leans in, asking if they should study. She notes that Maya's left eye is bluer than her right. She wants to write that down on the clipboard. But first, she kisses Maya. They keep kissing as they lie down. Carina mouths that she loves Maya.
Sullivan comes out of the bathroom with just a towel on to find Ross waiting on his bed. She admits she was cold to him. She hated it. He thinks she went overboard because people noticed and started asking questions. Ross is damned if she does and damned if she doesn't. Sullivan says people are wondering about the nature of the relationship. He told them she's the one who got away. She leans in and kisses him. As they kiss, he helps her undress and they fall back on the bed where they have sex.
Cast[]
Main Cast[]
- Jaina Lee Ortiz as Lieutenant Andy Herrera
- Jason George as Dr. Ben Warren
- Boris Kodjoe as Lieutenant Robert Sullivan
- Grey Damon as Lieutenant Jack Gibson
- Barrett Doss as Victoria Hughes
- Jay Hayden as Travis Montgomery
- Danielle Savre as Lieutenant Maya Bishop
- Stefania Spampinato as Dr. Carina DeLuca
- Carlos Miranda as Lieutenant Theo Ruiz
Guest Stars[]
- Merle Dandridge as Fire Chief Natasha Ross
- Josh Randall as Captain Sean Beckett
- Romy Rosemont as Jane
- Grant Harvey as Joshua Hill
- Ritesh Rajan as Clarke Wright
- Cullen Douglas as Erroll
- Ben Bodé as Bryan
- Eric Allan Kramer as Randall
- Jennifer Jalene as Luisa Berrol
- Hollidae Wilder Livingston as Matt
Co-Starring[]
Rescues[]
Matt[]
Crisis One was called to 778 Mulberry Drive. Vic and Theo arrived and met Clarke Wright, a social worker and Crisis One volunteer, who told them that a neighbor had called in a domestic dispute. They found Jane and Bryan arguing over their child. Jane told them that Bryan, her ex-husband, had taken their child from Florida. She said they left in the middle of the night a few days ago and she used their child's phone to track where they'd gone. Just then, the child appeared and said that his name was Matt, contrary to what Jane had told them. His parents had divorced over him being trans. Jane's new husband, Randall, arrived and Matt begged them not to make him go back. Officer Marinis and Clarke determined that Bryan had been granted sole custody, meaning he wouldn't have to go with them. However, when Matt went to go talk to his dad, Jane and Randall grabbed him and forced him into Randall's truck. Vic, Clarke, Theo, and Officer Marinis stopped them from leaving and Jane and Randall were arrested while Matt was returned to his father. Theo also suggested they consider relocating and changing their phone numbers so his mom couldn't find them again.
Erroll[]
Erroll came into the station 19 clinic, saying his leg was getting harder and harder to walk on. Travis removed his sock and two of his toes fell off. They asked him if he was diabetic and he said he didn't know, but didn't think so. He said his toes had started to turn black a while ago, but he thought it was just bad circulation. He had no sensation in his feet. Ben examined his other foot and saw the same signs of diabetic neuropathy and foot disease. Maya pricked his fingertip to test his blood sugar. They said he needed to go to Grey Sloan immediately. He objected because he couldn't afford it and didn't want to go into debt for it, but Travis promised him they'd help him figure it out. He said he'd had the numbness for a few months, but it never seemed urgent enough to go into debt.
Music[]
| Song | Performer | Scene |
|---|---|---|
| "This I Know" | Nané |
|
| "Home to Me" | Dominique Fils-Aimé |
|
| "Amen" | Natalie Taylor |
|
| "Leave a Light On" | Keir, Fenne Lily |
|
Notes and Trivia[]
- This episode's title originated from the song The Road You Didn't Take, originally from the musical Follies.
- This episode scored 3.95 million viewers.[1]
Gallery[]
Episode Stills[]
Quotes[]
See Also[]
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A complete overview of this episode's crew can be found here. |
| Station 19 Season 5 | ||||||
| #01 | "Phoenix from the Flame" | #07 | "A House Is Not a Home" | #13 | "Cold Blue Steel and Sweet Fire" | |
| #02 | "Can't Feel My Face" | #08 | "All I Want for Christmas is You" | #14 | "Alone in the Dark" | |
| #03 | "Too Darn Hot" | #09 | "Started from the Bottom" | #15 | "When the Party's Over" | |
| #04 | "100% or Nothing" | #10 | "Searching for the Ghost" | #16 | "Death and the Maiden" | |
| #05 | "Things We Lost in the Fire" | #11 | "The Little Things You Do Together" | #17 | "The Road You Didn't Take" | |
| #06 | "Little Girl Blue" | #12 | "In My Tree" | #18 | "Crawl Out Through the Fallout" | |
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