Grey's Anatomy Universe Wiki
Grey's Anatomy Universe Wiki

Who We Are is the eighth episode of the fifth season and the 84th overall episode of Private Practice.

Short Summary[]

The Seaside Wellness group stages an intervention for a defensive and volatile Amelia, who has resurfaced after disappearing on a 12-day drug binge with her boyfriend, Ryan. During the intervention, Amelia mercilessly attacks her friends one-by-one, and Addison, in particular, has trouble seeing her sister-in-law in her present condition.

Full Summary[]

In a flashback, a young Amelia hides two pennies her father gave her in a big crack in the floorboards in the back of her father's shop. Her voice over says she's saving them so she can buy a town, or so she tells her big brother Derek, who's reading a comic. Two guys come in, pull a gun and take the money. Now they want his watch. Mr. Shepherd looks at his children, who don't know what's going on.

Present. A cheerful Amelia gets off the elevator and greets Cooper, who seems shocked to see her. She walks past Addison's office and Addison can't believe she's there. Amelia wants to get coffee first but she tells her she has some news. Violet gets out of her office, just like Addison.

Amelia walks into the kitchen and greets Sheldon, Charlotte, Pete, Jake, and Sam. She needs coffee. She grabs a cup and fills with all the coffee left. As everyone watches her silently, she promises to make a fresh pot. Sheldon suddenly walks up to her and hugs her. She doesn't get why. Addison, Violet, and Cooper come in. They all stare at her. She asks if they know already and if Ryan was here or something and then blurts out she's engaged. Addison walks up to her and slaps her face. "What the hell was that?" Amelia asks. Violet and Cooper say they called the police and every hospital. And the morgue, Pete adds. Amelia wants to know why. Because they all thought she was dead, Addison says. Amelia doesn't get why, but Sheldon says no one has seen her. Amelia says she only missed a couple days of work. Twelve exactly, Jake says. Sam repeats no one has seen her in twelve days. This shocks Amelia too and Charlotte asks what she's on. Amelia asks what she's talking about. "Are you high right now?" Charlotte asks. She stays silent.

Amelia admits to her colleagues she was on drugs, she slipped. She thought she was going over the edge and even Ryan got worried over her. He told her there's partying and then there's the scary thing she had been doing. He dragged her to many meetings, she said, for which she's grateful, because he helped her. She didn't know it's been 12 days and she can imagine what they all must have thought and she apologizes for that. She promises Addison she was getting right with her higher power and staying sober every day. Addison asks if she's okay and she replies that she is. She'll have to go to three meetings a day for as long as it takes, but she swears she'll be okay. Addison now hugs her and says she worried. Amelia thanks her for that, but assures her there was no reason to as Ryan helped her. Amelia says she apparently has a lot of work to catch up on, so she'll talk to them later. She leaves the kitchen. Sam and Addison are relieved, but Charlotte claims Amelia is lying. The others are surprised, but that's because they haven't been an addict, Charlotte says. Jake says it would surprise them how adept an addict is at hiding their addiction. He played with the idea of specializing in addiction before choosing fertility. They have to do something, Charlotte says. If she's lying, Violet adds. Cooper wants to know if Charlotte is maybe blowing this out of proportion giving her history. She replies it's only because of her history that she knows the secrets, the games, the lies. "And I'm telling you, that girl is using!" she concludes.

In her office, Amelia is thinking about an earlier conversation with Ryan in their hotel room.

She told him that she loves her family members and that she's been loved, but it happened so naturally that she can't say that she knows what love is. She'd never been in love before, but she loves him. She said not to freak out or leave her, as passionately starts kissing her. He asked her if she wanted to get married, but she thought they couldn't as it would be insane. He said he'd never leave her and that he's in love with her too. He asked her to say yes if she wanted to get married, which she did, and kissed him.

Back in the present, Amelia is smiling in her office.

Cooper and Charlotte are searching for drugs in Amelia's office. Charlotte finds a package of pills in a flowerpot and she asks Cooper to take the pills from her. So he does. Sam comes to inform them that Amelia is in the parking lot.

Addison is waiting in front of the elevator, waiting for the doors to open. When they do, she blocks Amelia's path and asks her if they can talk to her. "Who is we?" Amelia asks and Addison lets her pass. Every doctor of the practice is sitting in the waiting area. Also present is Leni, a woman who has experience with interventions. Amelia greets them and Leni introduces herself. Amelia asks Addison if Leni has a brain tumor, because that better be what's going on. Leni says that everyone present here cares about her and that they all would like her to stay and listen to them. Amelia realizes they're talking about an intervention and can't believe this. She wants to walk to her offices as she has patients to see, but Leni informs her there are no patients today. It's all about her. Amelia shuts Leni up and says that she knows how an intervention works. Leni is just the party planner, it's one of her colleagues who is supposed to have the guts to speak up instead of hiding behind Leni. She aggressively asks if any of them has the balls to do so. They all stay silent. "Great intervention, I have been intervened upon. I'll see you tomorrow!" Amelia says as she gets back on the elevator.

Sheldon blocks the elevator doors and says he's not letting her leave. Addison is shocked and says that Amelia has the right to be upset as she thinks she's being ambushed. Meanwhile, Amelia is banging her hands against the wall. Addison is not sure if this is the right way to go, but Violet assures her that she can do this. She orders Amelia to get off the elevator, but Amelia simply says "screw you" to both her and Sheldon. If she doesn't get off, Addison will fire her. "Then I quit," Amelia says. Pete says she needs to get off the elevator or he'll call the police. "And tell them what?" Amelia asks. That she's been writing prescriptions for her own personal drug use, Charlotte replies. This seems to get to Amelia, although she claims Charlotte has no idea what she's talking about. Actually, she does. Amelia then agrees to stay at the practice, but she walks towards her office, saying she only agreed to staying at the practice, not to staying with them. Addison once again says it's not working as Amelia just walked out. "So go after her," Leni says. Leni adds that they have to steer the ship sometimes, they can't just come along for the ride. Addison starts questioning if Leni is even qualified to do this. Charlotte reminds her they all agreed to this and Addison then says she'll go.

She and Jake to go to Amelia's office and ask her to listen what everyone has to say. Amelia tells her she got sober young, then spent the bulk of her 20s in the library, studying her ass off in high and med school, then her residency and her neuro fellowship. So now, she wanted to have some fun. She acknowledges that she made a mistake, but she's fine now. She thought Addison would get that. Addison does, but she tells Amelia that she is an addict. Amelia bounces back that Addison drinks a bottle of wine with every meal, she drinks when she's happy, when she's sad, and when it's Tuesday. Should they do an intervention about her alcoholism? No, Addison says, as she doesn't have a problem. That's the difference, she doesn't need to drink. She hasn't had a drink in months. "Yeah, because the only thing you're more addicted to than booze is having a baby, which is sad because hell, you're freakin' barren!" Amelia shouts. She adds that Addison waited to long so her junk dried up, and she ruined every man who'd want to even consider impregnating her. Poor Derek, poor Mark. "You aborted his kid right? And now you've got Sam, and at least he's smart enough not to want to try and breed with you, because let's be honest, not even Rosemary's baby would want to live amongst the tumbleweeds in your uterus!" Amelia yells as Addison is on her way out.

As soon as Jake even opens his mouth, she questions what he's even doing here as she barely knows him. He's here because they all agreed they would be here and because she doesn't get how lonely most people are. Most people go to work, they come home, maybe they have friends, but on any given day, they're not sharing, caring or giving as much as all of them at the practice give to each other on an average Wednesday. So she's right, he doesn't know her, but he does now that she has a family here and he sees that she's destroying it. If she continues down this path, she won't go down alone. She'll take all the people that love her down with her. As soon as he's walked out, she starts looking for something in a drawer.

In the waiting area, Cooper has no idea what they should do next, as Amelia clearly isn't listening. Violet now suddenly is not in favor of the group confrontations anymore, as research has shown it doesn't work. Leni tells them Amelia is soon going into withdrawal. That's their chance, so they have to keep her here until that happens. Sam and Addison think Amelia is not high right now, but Leni insists that she is. She'll come through the doors any minute, as her high will be on its way out and they are the only thing standing between her and getting more drugs. Leni says she'll be a little irritable, tweaking, twitching, sweaty. Her guess is that she's on oxycodone, as this drugs can easily turn a nice girl into a bitch on wheels. "Any minute, she's coming through those doors," Leni says. They all wait in silence and indeed, soon Amelia appears. She tells them spit out what they have to say so she can go soon. She sits down and says she doesn't have all day.

Back in the flashback to the shop of Mr. Shepherd, the criminals place a revolver against his head. Little Amelia screams and her brother Derek holds his hand over her mouth and holds her tightly. Amelia's voice over explains that the watch was given to Mr. Shepherd by their mother. It's a symbol for their life together, of how much she loved him.

Leni tells Amelia that everyone is going to take turns talking now and that they're all here to help her. She wants Amelia to keep that in mind. It's not about anyone judging her, Leni says. Amelia laughs and says she has clearly never met these people. "Who's talking first?" she asks. Violet raises her hand. "Perfect! Shrink talk, my favorite!" Amelia comments as Violet sits down next to her. Since they're not close, Violet has nothing personal to tell her, so just asks Amelia if she's okay, as her she's sweating and her foot is shaking. "You're aging and your husband hates you, so you know, things could be worse for me," Amelia replies. Pete tries to calm her down, but Violet says it's okay. She knows Amelia is scared and just lashing out. She's had patients that were angrier and sicker than Amelia, so she can take it. Amelia asks if she's looking for applause as usual. Pete once again interferes, as he thinks it's not okay at all, contrary to what Violet thinks. Amelia tells him that ever since she saved his pathetic life, she's been thinking if it has been worth to do so, as he's kind of a tool. Maybe saving him was a waste of her energy and her mad, mad surgical skills. Maybe he's a waste of life. Maybe Angel of Death dude should call it a day and swallow some pills himself. She claims that Pete crossing over to the other side would give Violet some great material for her next book and she'd love that. "That's her thing, raping her personal experiences for attention. Oops, did I say rape? Sorry Charlotte," Amelia says. Violet is done and leaves, with Pete following her.

They enter the kitchen. After a moment of silence, they look at each other and start laughing so hard that they need to lie down on the floor. They check if they're both okay. They conclude Amelia is like an cornered, injured Rabid dog. As they calmed down, Charlotte comes in to see if they're all right. She answers Pete question and says Amelia hasn't shot anyone yet. Charlotte says she couldn't ask everyone because they were all in the middle of it, but she thinks it's time. They want Violet to do it as she's the shrink. Charlotte grabs a bottle of water from the fridge.

As Violet and Pete return to the waiting area, Amelia asks if this is all there is. A big intervention with screwed up people telling her how screwed up she is? She doesn't think she's screwed up because last time she checked, she was a world-class neurosurgeon with a near-perfect surgical record, so if they want to intervene about that, fine, because she can go all day. "Can you? All day?" Leni asks. Amelia asks if they're talking riddles now and if Leni is the riddler, because if they are, she might need a pen to write this all down. Leni laughs and says she's loving Amelia right now. She says Amelia is winning better than Charlie Sheen right now, at least if she overlooks that she's a giant oxy addict who's killing herself. She says everyone here has agreed that Amelia will no longer be enabled. "Enabled? Is that one of your special SAT words?" Amelia asks. Addison then says she'll change the locks, so Amelia can't live at her house anymore until she's gotten help. She will change the locks, throw her out, call her mother, her brother and her sisters, then she'll call the medical board and report her because she loves her, but she won't love her to death. Charlotte comes in with the bottle of water and offers it to Amelia. Amelia walks to the reception desk with it and she stops right before taking a first sip. She puts it down and she tells them she knows there is bupe dissolved in the water. It's a nice little drug that'll make withdrawal symptoms go away immediately and it'll prevent other drugs from getting her high within 72 hours. She puts away the bottle. Charlotte says it could help her and Pete agrees it would give her the chance to listen to them without being high and going through withdrawal. Amelia repeats she has been sober for five days and assures them she's clean. Cooper, Sam, and Sheldon tell her she should give the bupe a chance then. Amelia plays a little with the bottle and asks if they want her to listen so she can get sober. Yes, Charlotte says. "Okay, fine. Get me some oxy. Score me some oxy and then I'll stay as long as you want," Amelia says as she throws the bottle of water towards Leni.

In a flashback to right after the engagement, Amelia is searching in her purse for something to give to Ryan as an engagement present. He says he didn't give her anything, but she says he gives her love. She's sure he'll give her a ring sometime, when they put on clothes and leave the room. She then finds her father's watch. She explains it was her father's and that her mother saved money for three years in order to be able to buy it. He thinks it's amazing and loves, but he says she doesn't have to. She repeats he gives her love and he doesn't judge, nor does he try to change her. And he makes her feel beautiful. He kisses her and asks her to come back to bed. She wants to get high first and he agrees.

Back in the present, Amelia is sitting in the waiting area, heavily shaking her foot, with Leni watching her. 

In one of the offices, all of the doctors agree that they can't let Amelia leave, as it's all over then. Sam can't believe they are seriously discussing the possibility of giving Amelia some oxy. Cooper thinks they can make it worse, as they don't know what's in her system, so they could cause an overdose. Jake points out they're talking about giving her 40 mg of oxycodone, not shooting her up with heroin. They are eight doctors in a medical office, so she'll be more than monitored. Sam objects to supporting her drug habit, just because she lacks discipline and is acting like a child. Jake says addiction is a disease. Pete proposes a vote, but Jake is the only one in favor. "Seriously? he asks. Charlotte says she shouldn't vote giving her past, but than Addison raises her hand too, followed by Violet, as she's here to support Addison. The others still vote no. Jake asks Sam what kind of doctor he is, saying he should know better.

Jake is getting a beverage in the kitchen and Sam comes in, saying they only have a difference of opinion, which happens all the time at the practice. Jake says Sam's about a century behind in his thinking and he asks if Sam thinks addicts should be locked up, institutionalized instead of treated. Sam thinks Amelia should take responsibility for her actions. Jake asks if Pete should take responsibility for his heart attack then, but Sam thinks that's not the same thing. "Why not?" Jake asks. Because Pete has heart disease, Sam says. Amelia has a disease too, Jake says. Sam says that that is his opinion and that they both know that that is up for debate in the medical community. The whole disease model comes from AA, where the first thing they try to do is get people to admit that they're powerless against their addiction. "Because drugs function differently in their bodies. Addiction is a threefold disease!" Jake says. Sam says it's only a disease that doesn't fire up unless you take the drugs and that Amelia has control over that. She made a choice the first time she took those drugs, just like she has a choice today. Jake can't believe Sam really thinks that people choose that misery, that life. "You think they want to be licking drugs off of bathroom floors and neglecting their kids and destroying their husbands and killing themselves? You think anyone who is not in the throes of a disease would consciously do that to themselves? Is that what you think?" Jake asks. Violet is standing in the doorway and asks if he wants to talk. He asks if they would be all right without him. Violet says they would, as there are lots of them in there. Jake leaves. Violet sits down with Sam, who guesses he hit a nerve. Violet says there are lots of those flying around today, so it's hard to avoid them. Sam thinks they should get back in, but Violet doesn't seem to want to.

In the waiting area, Cooper is reading his speech about how Amelia is still someone's child out loud from a paper. Amelia is just pacing up and down. While he says he works with children every day and sees their parents' love, she starts chanting that she wants her drugs now. Cooper tries to continue his speech. "What do we want? Drugs. When do we want them" Now!" Amelia keeps on chanting louder and louder into Addison and Sam's ears. Addison gets up and walks away as Amelia thanks the ladies and gentlemen and informs them her next show will be in five minutes. 

Sheldon follows Addison, who's on her way to get drugs for Amelia. Sheldon says they agreed not to. Addison replies that thing in there used to be a sweet and funny person, whom she took to get her ears pierced. She did Amelia's hair for prom and she told her all about birth control when she didn't know who to ask. They were sisters, even closer than that. She used to love Amelia Shepherd and she wants her back, and if it means that she has to give her some oxy to keep her here to have her listen to them, so be it. Sheldon walks away and tells her he's getting the key to the drug dispensary. Addison takes his hand in hers and they walk away together.

Amelia is pushing the elevator button but Sam is body-blocking her. He tells her that everybody's life is tough and that everybody sometimes has unthinkable pain, but that that's no reason to throw it all away like she's doing. "Everybody here has been to hell and back. Pete, Violet, Charlotte. We're not using," he says. He says that if she wants to stop being a drug addict, this is how she has to do it: stop taking drugs. "Grow up, take some responsibility for yourself!" he says, as Addison and Sheldon come in with the oxy. Amelia thanks Addie. "Gotta love that woman of yours, Sam. Of course, we all know you can't commit, so maybe you don't gotta, but I do," Amelia says. Cooper still objects to giving her the drugs, but Sheldon points out that Amelia is in trouble and if they let her leave, it'll only get worse. Amelia takes the oxy and starts to leave, but Leni objects. She has to do it here, in front of all these people who care about her. She either has to show them who she is now, or not do the drugs at all and show them who she wants to be. It's her choice. With everybody watching her, Amelia takes the pill and smashes it with a stapler. She takes a business card of one of the doctors and uses it to put the powder in a line. Only Charlotte and Addison have turned their heads away, but they all hear Amelia sniff the powder. 

Meanwhile, Jake is driving his car with a box on the passenger seat.

Charlotte tells a high Amelia that if she keeps this up, she'll kill someone. She's gonna walk into some OR, get behind the wheel of a car, ... She's gonna kill someone, that's where this is going. "When you do that, you do not come back from it. Maybe you get sober, but you don't come back," Charlotte says, but Amelia barely reacts. She continues to say that she'll spend every day trying to be a better person, trying to save a life, trying to make it right, but she won't be able to gave that mother back her child or that husband back his wife. She'll walk, talk, breathe, sometimes even smile or laugh, but she won't come back. Still, Amelia doesn't react. Pete asks Leni what the point is, as Amelia is so high she can't even listen to them. With a weak voice, Amelia says she is listening and that what Charlotte said was really beautiful and real. She does worry about what Charlotte said would happen, and starts crying. Sheldon kneels in front of her and asks her to give them 30 days to get her clean and sober so she can start all over again with a clean slate. Amelia says it sounds nice, but she doesn't think she can do. Sheldon takes her hand and says she can. They will all help her. He says they have found a great rehab facility right next to the ocean, where there's a bed waiting for her. "Will you come too?" she asks him, and he promises he'll come see her every night. Charlotte smiles as she sees it's working. Suddenly the elevator dings and Ryan gets off. Amelia runs towards and hugs him. As they kiss, Sheldon helplessly looks at Addison.

Jake swipes the leaves off his wife's grave. He puts the box down and sits down on the tombstone, enjoying the sun.

Sam tells Ryan he has to go, but Amelia wants him to stay and doesn't want Sam to speak like that to her fiancé. Pete says Amelia will never get sober if she decides to stay with Ryan. Leni stands up and says Amelia's addiction is not Ryan's fault. In fact, if Ryan wants to get sober too, they can help him as well. Sam and Addison object, but Violet points out Amelia will do better if the person she loves is in the program getting sober as well. There are studies on this, she says, and she asks Sheldon to back her up. Cooper stars objecting, but Charlotte agrees with Violet and Leni. Meanwhile, Addison sees the watch around Ryan's wrist. "You gave him your father's watch?" Addison asks Amelia, who after some struggles tells her that it was an engagement present. Amelia asks her to leave her alone about the watch and Ryan asks Addison to give her a minute, but Addison yells that it's none of his business and that she's talking to her sister. As Amelia says that she's not her sister, Addison says she can't believe Amelia took the watch from her mother. Leni asks everyone to calm down and Violet asks what the significance of the watch is. Amelia claims it's just the watch her mother gave to her father on one of their anniversary, but Addison says it's not the significance. She urges Amelia to tell the truth, but starts to tell the story herself when Amelia refuses too. Amelia yells to shut up as it's not her story to tell because it was not her father. She breaks down and keeps yelling at Addison, whom she calls a stupid, ignorant monster bitch, to shut up and not to tell that story to anyone, ever. She says she'll kill her with her bare hands if she ever does tell the story. Ryan is hugging Amelia to calm her down. She wants to go, so they push the elevator button. Calmly, Sheldon begs Amelia to stay, but she simply asks if he knows she'll never love him back. Sheldon back off and Ryan says it was nice to see them all and he hopes to see them again after things have calmed down. They get on the elevator.

There's another flashback to Amelia's youth. She and Derek are in the back of the store as two guys come in. They don't pay attention until their father starts screaming. Mr. Shepherd is threatened with a revolver. The criminals shoot Mr. Shepherd in the head, take his watch and flee. In the back of the store, Derek holds Amelia tight. When the criminals are gone, Derek goes to take a look at their father's body. Young Amelia drops her pennies.

Ryan and Amelia are lying in bed. He tells her that no one has ever tried to save him like her friends did. No one's ever cared about him like that and he's never been around anyone like her before. He talks about the significance of the watch and says he wants to have anniversaries with her, like her father and mother, lots of them. He also wants kids. If they were sober, they could have kids and a life. She's happily surprised he wants kids, but he definitely wants them to be clean first, as his father was a cokehead and he doesn't to put his kid through that. "Do you want to get sober with me?" he asks. She accepts and they kiss. She says this is going to be great. He proposes to get the names of rehab facilities. They can go and out together. It's a commitment and it's important. He wants to know if she can do this. She can. They kiss and he picks the last package of pills from the bedside table. He says they should probably flush this. She first says they should, but then proposes they do it one last time. He objects and she tells him to flush them. He goes to the bathroom, but comes back in and agrees to one last time. As he prepares the oxy and she puts a belt around her arm, they agree to get four kids: two boys and two girls. He kisses her and then places the shot. She enjoys and immediately gets high. Before she closes her eyes, he tells her she's so gorgeous. 

Back the practice, Sam asks what they should do now. Leni says they have to cut Amelia off. When she calls, and she will call, they can't give her any help until she's ready to seek help for her addiction. They can't respond to calls for a ride, for a place to stay, or to give her her job back. The only call they can respond too is a call for help to get her off drugs. It's up to her now. Addison thinks this was a bad idea, but Leni says it is what works. They all think it didn't work, as Amelia is out on the street doing God knows what with Ryan. They lost her. Leni says they don't know that. They started something with her today, progress was made. They may not see it, as results aren't always immediate. Sometimes, an addict actually has to hit rock bottom. "Amelia snorting oxycodone off the reception desk doesn't qualify as rock bottom?" Addison asks. Leni sits down and says that 15 years, 3 moths and 4 days ago, she took her 5-year-old son to the park. He was on the swing, having fun, and it was a beautiful, sunny day. There were other kids to play with, they had all afternoon. She knows he was having fun, as she could hear him laughing as she shot the tenner of heroin she had on her. She passed out and when she came to about an hour later, her son was gone. They never found him. "Honey, that's rock bottom," Leni tells Addison.

Jake is eating pastries from the box he brought and he's talking to the tombstone. He says that she called him to invite him to come over for a visit. She offered him to stay at a dorm down the hall. He agreed to come, but he preferred to stay at the Four Seasons. He tells his deceased wife that her daughter misses her, but he doesn't want her to worry as he's taking care of her. He knows she's not his real daughter and that she has a real father, but there's nothing real about that guy. He tells his wife he still misses her, every day, but for the first time since she "left", he found some nice people and a job he really likes. They make him feel less alone. He hopes she's not alone either, and that she found some peace. He remembers that whenever she was trying to get clean, she used to eat a lot of crullers. He picks up the pastries box and says that he hopes that she's clean. He then puts the box down again and tells her he brought her some crullers. He gets up and walks away from his wife's grave.

Amelia wakes up in the hotel bed. She lies her head on Ryan's chest, but doesn't hear a heartbeat. She looks and sees he's dead. She tries to wake him up, but it doesn't work. She gets out of bed and starts crying and calling his name. A maid comes in and calls a manager. He uses the phone in the room to call the police. Meanwhile, Amelia keeps frozen on the spot and keeps calling his name. An officer tries to talk to her, but she crawls back into bed and tells Ryan he can't die because they were going to have a family. More officers come in and they place his body on a gurney. Amelia pushes them aside and yells not to touch him while she keeps repeating his name. They were getting married. She tells him two guys shot his father for his watch, something she never told anyone before. She takes the watch off his wrist and she sits down on the bed. The officers zip the body bag and one of them asks if there's anyone he can call for her. "Call Dr. Addison Forbes Montgomery. Tell her I said I'm ready to go to rehab," she says and closes her eyes as she takes a breath.


Main Cast[]

Guest Stars[]



Song Performer Scene
"Ain't Nobody" Mary J. Blige
  • Amelia stands in her office and thinks back to Ryan proposing to her with a smile on her face.
"25/8" Mary J. Blige
  • Amelia gives Ryan her father's watch as an engagement present. They share a kiss.
"Need Someone" Mary J. Blige
  • Jake talks to his deceased wife about their daughter and his life now. He leaves a box of crullers at her grave.
  • Amelia wakes up and finds Ryan dead next to her. She freaks out as the authorities remove his body. She takes the watch and asks someone to call Addison as she's ready to go to rehab.

Notes and Trivia[]

  • This episode scored 7.23 million viewers.
  • This episode is the first part of a two-hour Private Practice event, the second part being The Breaking Point.
  • This is the only episode of season five where Addison is not seen in therapy.
  • This episode is focused on Amelia.
  • This is one of the very few episodes of both shows in which there is no patient. Amelia is not considered a patient as the doctors reached out to her as friends rather than doctors.
  • The flashbacks of Derek and Amelia from this episode were later seen in "Could We Start Again, Please?".


Episode Stills[]

Behind the Scenes[]


Cooper: Charlotte, is it possible, I mean, is it just possible, given your history, that you're blowing this out of proportion?
Charlotte: Because of my history, I know the games, the secrets, and the lies. And I am telling you, that girl is using.

Amelia: I've never been in love. I've loved my mother, my brother, my sisters, friends, my father. I've loved, I've been loved. I mean, I'm not saying I know what love is. I just... I've never been in love. I've never... I love you. I'm in love with you, okay? Don't freak out or leave me.
Ryan: Do you want to get married?
Amelia: Are you serious? I mean, we can't get married. I mean, that's insane.
Ryan: It's not. Amelia, I'll never leave you. I'm in love with you, too.
Amelia: Oh, my God. We're getting married?
Ryan: You have to say yes.
Amelia: Yes. Yes. Yes! Yes!

Leni: My guess is she's an oxy girl? Nothing like oxycodone to turn a nice girl into bitch on wheels.

Amelia: I know how an intervention works. You're not the one who talks. You are just the party planner. One of you is supposed to have the guts to speak up instead of hiding behind this chick. One of you has to have the balls to say something to me. Do you? Any of you? Okay. Great intervention. I have been intervened upon. I will see you tomorrow.

Amelia: Addison, I got sober young. And then I spent the bulk of my 20s in a library, studying my ass off: college, med school, residency, neuro fellowship. So now I wanted to have some fun. I made a mistake, and now I'm fine. I would think you'd get that.
Addison: I do. I get that. But you are an addict, Amelia.
Amelia: You down a bottle of wine with every meal. You drink when you're happy and when you're sad and when it's Tuesday. Should we do an intervention about your alcoholism?
Addison: I don't have a problem. That's the difference here. I don't need to drink. I haven't had a drink in months.
Amelia: Yeah, because the only thing you're more addicted to than booze is having a baby, which is sad, because, hell, you're friggin' barren. You waited too long, and your junk dried up, and you've ruined any man who would want to even consider impregnating you. Poor Derek. Poor Mark. You aborted his kid, right? And now you've got Sam, and at least he's smart enough to not want to try and breed with you, because let's be honest, not even Rosemary's baby would want to live amongst the tumbleweeds in your uterus.

Jake: See, most people, they just go to work. They go to work, they come home, maybe they have friends. But on any given day, they're not sharing as much or caring as much or giving as much as all of you give to each other on an average Wednesday. So, yes, you're right, I don't know you. But I know that you have a family here and I see that you're destroying it. If you continue down this path, you won't just go down alone, Amelia. You'll take all the people that love you down with you.

Violet: I've had patients that are angrier than you and sicker than you, so I can take it.
Amelia: Awesome. Are you lookin' for applause, as usual?
Pete: Amelia!
Violet: It's okay, Pete.
Pete: No, it's not okay.
Amelia: Honestly, Pete, all I have been able to think since I saved your pathetic life is, was it worth it? 'Cause you're kind of a tool. I mean, maybe saving you was a waste of my energy. Maybe it was a waste of my mad, mad surgical skills. Maybe you're a waste of life. Maybe Angel of Death dude should call it a day and swallow some pills yourself. What do you say, cross on over to the other side? It'd give your wife some great material for her next book, and she'd love that. That's her thing, raping her personal experiences for attention. Oops. Did I say rape? Sorry, Charlotte.

Sheldon: Please, stay.
Amelia: Sheldon, I will never love you back. You get that, right?

Ryan: Your mom gave your dad this watch for their anniversary. I want to have anniversaries with you, lots of 'em, and kids. If we were sober, we could have kids, and a life. We could have a life, too.
Amelia: You want kids?
Ryan: We'd have to be clean. My father was a cokehead, and I won't. I... I can't. We have to be clean.
Amelia: Okay.
Ryan: Do you want to get sober with me?
Amelia: Yeah.

Leni: Results aren't always immediate. Sometimes an addict actually has to hit rock bottom.
Addison: Amelia snorting oxycodone off the reception desk doesn't qualify as rock bottom?
Leni: 15 years, 3 months and 4 days ago, I took my 5-year-old son to the park. He was on the swings, having so much fun. It was a beautiful day. The sun was shining. He had other kids to play with. We had all afternoon. He was on the swings. He was okay. I knew he was, 'cause I could hear him laughing as I was shooting the tenner of heroin I had on me. I passed out. I came to an hour or so later, and my son was gone. They never found him. Honey, that is rock bottom.

Amelia: Call Dr. Addison Forbes Montgomery. Tell her I said I'm ready to go to rehab.

See Also[]

A complete overview of this episode's crew can be found here.