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With a Wonder and a Wild Desire

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“ There is a portion of the cerebral cortex of your brain folded deep within an area between the temporal and frontal lobes. It's called the insula and it's where desire starts. The insula is only about the size of a pea, but what it triggers in our bodies, and by extension in our lives, can be epic. We'd like to imagine that we're in control, but more often than not, the chemicals in our brain control us. The insula lights up and we're compelled to change our lives. Compelled by longing. Compelled by yearning. Compelled by desire for more. ”

With a Wonder and a Wild Desire is the first episode of the fifteenth season and the 318th overall episode of Grey's Anatomy.

Short Summary[]

The doctors at Grey Sloan Memorial vie for a new position. Meredith is seemingly distracted and struggles to stay focused, and Maggie finds herself the keeper of a big secret while Amelia and Owen try to figure out their relationship. Meanwhile, Jo and Alex's honeymoon doesn't go exactly as planned.

Full Summary[]

Meredith and Andrew are making out in her bed before she suddenly stops and asks what he's doing there. He says whatever she wants and they start kissing again.

Meredith jolts awake but then is shocked to see Jackson come out of her bathroom in a robe. He strips and she turns to the other side, where she sees Koracick judging her dreams. She says he doesn't get to do that, but he points out that it's not really him. It's her.

Meredith wakes and looks around for a minute. Zola comes in and tells Meredith that Bailey spilled milk on Ellis.

Alex and Jo walk onto the beach. They find a spot and set up their gear. They lounge on the beach.

Teddy steps up to Owen's door and knocks. She's surprised to see Betty answer. She thinks she has the wrong house. Betty tells her Amelia and Owen are still sleeping because the baby was up all night. Teddy repeats that she has the wrong house and flees.

Amelia jolts awake on the couch as Betty shuts the door. Leo wakes up, so Amelia asks Betty to make coffee.

Andrew is sleeping on Jackson's couch. Maggie comes down the stairs hungover from the weddings. Jackson wonders why they numb life's most powerful moments with alcohol. Jackson kicks the couch to wake Andrew and says it's a beautiful day, so they're all going to walk to work, despite Andrew's declaration that he needs to call in sick.

Bailey is walking to work and stops to get a pineapple juice.

Catherine brings Richard coffee and asks if he made his AA meeting. He says he came in early to get through some charts, so he'll go in the evening. He says he slept beautifully because of her and hopes to again tonight.

Bailey finds Teddy waiting for her. Teddy says she can't take the interim Chief job because instead of staying, she's leaving and going somewhere far away.

Jackson talks to Maggie about April getting married. He's truly happy for her. And he wants to pay attention to what's next in his life. Andrew, who is a few steps behind them, suddenly remembers that he kissed Meredith and is horrified. Maggie's not sure how April could make a decision that big that quickly. She's not like that. Jackson says April did the same thing with him. Maybe that's how faith works.

They step into the crosswalk to cross the street, but Andrew notices a car not stopping and pulls both of them back just before a car can hit them. Nisha Chopri, who is riding her bike, is not as lucky and gets hit with the car before the car hits a pole.

Maggie goes to Cece Colvin in the car, while Jackson and Andrew go for Nisha. Andrew calls for an ambulance as Jackson evaluates her. Jackson tells Andrew he saved their lives. If he'd called in sick as he wanted, they'd be dead.

Meredith is reading an article when Tom asks her about it. He flirts with her, but she shuts him down. They enter the elevator, followed by Owen, Amelia, and Leo. The elevator opens to reveal Teddy. Owen asks her why she's there. Teddy explains about the interim Chief position and says she's leaving. She says goodbye to Owen awkwardly and leaves. Owen wonders why Teddy didn't call to say she was in Seattle. Amelia wonders if he's hung up on her still, but doesn't want the answer. She takes Leo to drop him off at day care. Vik and Levi run by, on their way to an incoming trauma. Owen checks the page on his phone and then jogs to join them.

Vik and Levi both think they were first, but Richard says he was actually the first. Patty Clemens then comes in with her husband, Barry, whom she found on the bathroom floor screaming. He says it's just his stomach, so Richard sends them to get checked in. After a moment, he decides to go join that case and leave the incoming to Owen and Levi.

Teddy is on her way out when she feels a sharp pain in her thigh. She finds Casey at the desk and asks him about the head of cardio.

The ambulances arrive and Nisha is unloaded with the bike still wrapped around her because it's stopping a bleed. Owen tells them to get the new ortho guy. Maggie unloads Cece and says she can handle the case. Cece is more worried about Nisha and says she's sorry.

Amelia enters Bailey's office and makes a case for her being chosen for the interim Chief of Surgery. She wonders what Teddy has that she doesn't.

Carina sees Andrew and says he looks rough. He's thrilled despite the hangover because he saved two lives. They both arrive at Barry's x-ray at the same time. Vik paged both because Richard didn't specify which DeLuca. He meant Carina, but invites Andrew to stay. The x-ray shows that he has something in his rectum. They make bets on what it is. Carina says men are worried their wives will think they're gay if they ask her to play with that area. Vik is fascinated by this information.

Casey pulls Maggie aside and tells her about Teddy, so she leaves Cece to get an EKG and leaves.

Nisha is getting treated. She thinks she's in heaven because they're all so pretty. Cece comes over and is worried about her. She apologizes for hurting her. Nisha says she was worried she'd die without finding love and now she thinks she has to die to find it, in heaven. Cece says she's a matchmaker by trade and she'll dedicate her life to finding Nisha love. They ask Cece to go back to her bed, but she says she's had two heart transplants, so she's already lived beyond her expectation and she won't leave Nisha alone until her parents are there. Owen says she has to move so the ortho team can get through. Nisha is excited when Link and Nico arrive. She's convinced she's in heaven.

Link evaluates Nisha as they figure out a plan to remove the bike so she can be treated. They have to take the bike apart.

Teddy is looking at her own scans when Maggie comes in. Teddy's worried abut how young she is. And then she figures out that she's Meredith's sister. Teddy says what she's about to say is confidential. She confesses that she's pregnant and she thinks she has a clot in her femoral vein. She's hoping Maggie can confirm, prescribe heparin, and then she can leave. Maggie sends Casey to take care of Cece so she can work on Teddy.

Jo asks Alex about an article she was reading about cancer cells. It made her think and it feels new while Boston feels old. He wouldn't mind their kids growing up in Boston. Jo has a thought and apologizes as she runs back up the beach.

Barry needs surgery to remove the object. Richard says it would be helpful to know what it is before they go in, but he maintains that it must just be a growth.

Richard walks away from Barry's bed as Bailey joins him. She wants in on his case, but he will only agree to that if she makes him Chief of Surgery. He reminds her he taught her and he could use something to sink his teeth into. She walks off.

Tom and Amelia are working on their project while Amelia lists reasons to make her interim Chief. Tom asks about the blonde from this morning. Amelia fills him in about her history with Owen. Tom tells her she was not a victim in her marriage to Owen. She was an ass to him, so much so that Tom didn't know they were married. The sex they had after he operated on her was "Thank God I'm no longer married to that ginger" sex and she knows it. The water containing the brain they are working on starts to boil.

Meredith checks with Cece if she's had two heart transplants. Cece confirms and suspects she's up for a third. Meredith says her ECG looks clear, but they will run more tests to find out what caused her to crash. She orders labs and tells Casey to stop calling her Ma'am. Andrew comes up and apologizes for kissing her. She says it's fine, but he disagrees. He respects her, but he was drunk. It won't happen again. Once he's gone, Cece says that's a shame. Meredith says she's Andrew's teacher. Cece can tell Meredith wants to be kissed, though. It's her super power. Meredith objects, but Cece says it's all about desire. And Meredith is beautiful and vibrant. Bailey walks by and Meredith pitches herself to be appointed interim Chief. She talks about her dreams and how she needs the extra work.

Maggie tells Teddy she does have a clot, but monitoring and observation will do. Teddy starts crying, which is so not her. She does not get pregnant by accident, but the man she loved come to Germany and she couldn't resist. Maggie realizes Owen went to Germany. Tabitha, Teddy's roommate, asks who Owen is. Teddy asks about Maggie's relationship to Owen. Maggie says he's living with her sister, Amelia.

Alex finds Jo writing things down while seated at a bar on the beach. He apologizes for having talked about kids, but her talk made him imagine a future with kids. Jo tells him to shut up. She has a big idea and she will love all their children, but now she has to focus. The bartender gives Alex a beer on the house.

While en route to the OR, Carina talks to Barry about how a desire for a prostate massage is natural. Barry wants her to stop. Richard again asks what he put up his rectum. Barry finally confesses he used his wife's hair stuff. Vik is delighted that he was right.

Teddy has learned how the sisterhood works. Maggie injects the heparin while Teddy says they aren't actually sisters. Maggie clarifies it's metaphorically. Teddy stresses the importance of HIPAA, but Maggie assures her she won't tell Amelia. Casey will keep the secret, too. Teddy gets up to leave against medical advice. Teddy knows she can't fly, but she has her compression socks and she can elevate her legs anywhere. Teddy thanks Maggie for the consult and leaves.

Meredith tells Cece that her kidneys are failing because of the anti-rejection meds for her heart. She needs a kidney transplant, but she's going to need peritoneal dialysis until they find a match. Cece asks to be put in a room next to Nisha. Meredith will check. Cece then asks Meredith how long she's been single. Meredith says she is happy, but Cece says there's no cap on happiness. And sharing happiness is always nice. Cece can help her with that.

Link, Owen, Nico, and Jackson are scrubbing in while Link tells them about his previous job. Bailey comes in to offer an extra pair of hands. Link tells her his first day's going great so far. Owen brings up that he's been Chief, too. Link wouldn't want that job. It comes with stress. Bones and souls break under stress. Bailey stops scrubbing and leaves.

Since they couldn't remove the object with the EUA, they need to open up the sigmoid for access from above. Carina is watching from the gallery. As he has made the incision, Richard finds that the objects feels hard. Vik finds a small bleeder and cauterizes against Richard's advice. Suddenly, a flame shoots up, lighting Vik's sleeve on fire while a flaming can bounces around the room. Andrew starts extinguishing the flames on Vik's clothes. Richard pours water into the patient and explains it was aerosol hairspray. Vik claims he's okay, but he has burns on his face and arm. He thanks Andrew for saving him.

Richard rushes to control the bleeding. He'll need to divert with a colostomy. While Vik is taken away on a gurney, Richard instructs Andrew to scrub back in to help him out.

Amelia and Tom have completely fried the brain. Tom tells Amelia she'll have to knock the other player out of the game if she wants Owen back, but Amelia doesn't want to fight another woman. Tom says you don't get things worth having without fighting. Amelia has no respect for his life advice. He only has one regret in his life and that is that he let his wife walk out of the door of their marriage without fighting for her. It's not anti-feminist to fight for what she wants, it's anti-Amelia.

While Link shows Nico his technique, Owen looks up to find the gallery filled with admiring women, including Amelia. Link requests some music. It helps him to focus, but Owen finds it too loud to hear himself think. He has a nurse turn it down. Jackson says Nisha only wanted love. This has to mean something. As the other men point out that sounds like a bunch of cliché phrases, he says he must have hit his head. As they lock eyes, Nico winks at Levi, who drops a bassin. He feels like he's drowning in testosterone.

Cece is on the operating table. Meredith says it should be quick and easy. Cece wants to know what she's looking for in a man, but Meredith says she's not looking. She's just open to the idea for when it happens. Cece says she wants to be taken off the UNOS list and just wait until one comes walking through the door. Meredith has the anesthesiologist put Cece under.

Andrew and Richard are working to resuscitate Barry.

Barry's still flatlining. Andrew wants to channel his hero vibe and try one more time, but Richard declares that the man is dead. He calls time of death. Andrew reluctantly puts the paddles away. Richard asks Carina to help him explain this to Barry's wife.

Alex finds Jo working on her idea in the bathroom of their vacation apartment. He's spent the entire day enjoying himself. Jo wants to design cancer killer cells by introducing suicide genes in the cancer cell DNA, like guided missile immune therapy. She thinks he hates her for ruining their honeymoon. Alex says nothing has ever surprised him more than her marrying him, so he doesn't hate her. He just wants her to eat something. Their kids will be really smart.

Meredith and Jackson are standing outside Nisha and Cece's ICU rooms. Jackson says that could have been him and Maggie and he thanks Andrew again when he comes up. Andrew says it's been a crazy few days. He's feeling better now. Meredith tells Jackson she'll kill him if he ever cheats on her sister. Meredith runs into Link as she's walking off. He wants to introduce himself, but she says no and leaves.

Jackson comes home and joins Maggie in the kitchen. She wonders about the penalty if she accidentally were to slip a detail about a patient's life to a family member. Jackson still has his near-death experience on the mind. Maggie notices he doesn't seem okay. Jackson recalls her likening to trusting that a hand will catch you, and then a hand pulled them out of the van's way. He prayed and April woke up. Maggie says it was DeLuca's hand and she's an excellent doctor. Jackson says Maggie sounds more like him than he does. Maggie says it's okay to evolve and search for a deeper meaning. Jackson realizes he believes in something. It's pulsing through him. He wants to take that leap and trust something will catch him, like April and Matthew did. Maggie says they got married. Jackson says yes. He wants to trust it. Maggie says they are out of milk and leaves.

Owen enters the kitchen after having put Leo down. Amelia blurts out she has feelings for him. She knows there is a lot of water under this particular bridge and she would understand if he couldn't go there again. If he's in love with Teddy and she is in love with him, she won't fight Teddy, but if she never told him and that's what made him chase after Teddy, she wouldn't be able to forgive herself. Owen says Teddy accused him of not being able of being alone. He doesn't want her to be right. He walks up to Amelia and kisses her.

Meredith's reading an article on her laptop in bed. She Googles Cece's matchmaking service, but decides against it. She closes her laptop and goes to sleep.

Cast[]

Main Cast[]

Guest Stars[]

Co-Starring[]

Medical Notes[]

Cece Colvin[]

  • Diagnosis:
    • Kidney failure
  • Treatment:
    • Peritoneal dialysis

Cece passed out while driving and hit Nisha Chopri before running into a pole. She'd had two prior heart transplants. Her EKG was normal, so Meredith ordered more tests to figure out why she'd passed out. Her anti-rejection meds had had a toxic effect on her kidneys and she needed peritoneal dialysis until she could get a transplant. Meredith took her into surgery to insert a valve for that.

Nisha Chopri[]

  • Diagnosis:
    • Open comminuted femur fracture
  • Treatment:
    • External fixation

Nisha was biking when she was hit by a car. Because her bike was keeping her from bleeding, they brought the bike in with her to the hospital to do a controlled extraction. They put a tourniquet on her leg and then removed the bike. She was taken into surgery, where her leg was put into an external fixator.

Barry Clemens[]

  • Diagnosis:
    • Impaled object
  • Treatment:
    • Exploratory laparotomy
    • Surgical extraction

Barry, 42, came into the ER with abdominal pain. An x-ray revealed an object that had been inserted into his anus and gotten stuck. They scheduled surgery to remove it. He claimed it was a growth, but on his way to surgery, he admitted he'd put his wife's hair stuff up there. In surgery, Richard noticed there was something hard in the cavity and while his back was turned, Vik cauterized a bleeder, which ignited the hair spray and caused a fire in his abdomen. The flames were extinguished and the surgery continued. Barry then coded and was unable to be resuscitated. He was pronounced dead at 17:03.

Teddy Altman[]

  • Diagnosis:
    • Pregnancy
    • Deep vein thrombosis
  • Treatment:
    • Compression socks
    • Heparin

Teddy developed a blood clot in her leg. She asked Maggie to confirm her diagnosis and prescribe heparin. Maggie wanted to keep her for monitoring, but she said she had her compression hose and left against medical advice.

Vikram Roy[]

  • Diagnosis:
    • Facial burns
  • Treatment:

Vik was injured when he cauterized a bleed and started a fire in a patient's abdomen. His face had some burns and he was taken away to be treated.

Music[]

Song Performer Scene
"Nah!" Striking Matches
  • Meredith has sex dreams about Andrew, Jackson, and Koracick.
  • Zola comes in to tell her Bailey spilled.
  • Alex and Jo settle down on the beach.
"Ou La La La (All Eyes On Us)" NVDES
  • Link turns on music while operating.
  • The men discuss if there's any meaning behind the accident.
"Out of the Blue" Fleurie
  • Richard asks Carina to talk to a patient's wife.
  • Jo explains her innovative idea to Alex.
  • Meredith, Jackson, and Andrew talk in the ICU. Meredith threatens to hurt Jackson if he cheats on Maggie.
  • Meredith bumps into Link.
"Silhouette" Aquilo
  • Maggie leaves after her conversation with Jackson.
  • Amelia confesses her feelings to Owen. He tells her about Teddy's accusation of being incapable of being alone. They passionately kiss.
  • Meredith contemplates using Cece's dating service but opts against it.

Notes and Trivia[]

Grey's_Anatomy_Season_15_Promo_(HD)

Grey's Anatomy Season 15 Promo (HD)

Grey's_Anatomy_-_2_Hour_Premiere_THURSDAY_September_27_at_8_7c

Grey's Anatomy - 2 Hour Premiere THURSDAY September 27 at 8 7c

  • This episode's title originated from the song With a Wonder and a Wild Desire, originally sung by Flogging Molly.
  • This episode scored 6.81 million viewers.[1]
  • As of this episode, Kim Raver is again credited as a main cast member after recurring in the previous season. She was previously a series regular from seasons 6-8.
  • The honeymoon scenes of Jo and Alex were shot on location in Santa Monica.[source?]
  • Meredith wears a new purple scrub cap after putting Derek's ferry boat scrub in her drawer in Cold as Ice. While she wore a purple scrub cap when she first became an attending, that scrub cap was plain purple while her new one has a pattern on it.
  • Promotional photos show a scene with Richard and Catherine walking in a park, but the scene appears to have been cut from the episode.

Gallery[]

Episode Stills[]

Quotes[]

Tom: You think they can sense our sexual tension?
Meredith: Wouldn't I sense it?
Tom: Oh, ouch. Delightful.
Andrew: Why would anybody want to do this to himself?
Carina: Because they're afraid to ask their wives to touch them inside there. They think their wives will think they're homosexuals.
Vik: This does seem that way to me.
Carina: Don't be stupid. Gay men know how to use proper sex toys that don't get lost up there. No. No, this is straight-man stupidity. The pleasure center resides just inside the anal canal for all men, gay or straight.
Richard: All right, then.
Vik: Wait, wait, wait. I want to hear this.
Carina: The prostate is the male G-spot.
Vik: Seriously?
Carina: Yeah. Why do you think we're always pulling stuff out of men's butts?
Cece: Now let's talk about you. You've been single for how long now?
Meredith: Cece. I am happy just as I am.
Cece: Well, of course you are. How could you not be, a beautiful, accomplished doctor like yourself? But is there a cap on happiness? And who couldn't use a little more? And who couldn't enjoy sharing it a little? I could help you if you'd let me, Dr. Grey. I'm the UNOS of love.
Meredith: Okay, Cece, this is going to be quick and easy. You should be out for less than 20 minutes. Any questions?
Cece: Just give me broad strokes of what you're looking for in a man so I can think about it while I sleep.
Meredith: I'm not really looking. I'm not against it. I'm open to the idea of something coming along, but I'm not out there looking for it.
Cece: Okay, I respect that. And I'd like to be taken off the UNOS kidney list.
Meredith: What?
Cece: I don't feel like we need to get out here and look for a kidney, do we? Let's just wait and hope one comes squishing through the door on its own.
Tom: You were awful to him, we've established that. So, if you really want him back now, you're actually gonna have to fight for him. Knock the other player out of the game.
Amelia: Your advice is that I should fight another woman for a man?
Tom: What thing that's worth having has anyone ever gotten without a fight? You didn't become a neurosurgeon without fighting for it. You didn't come back from a brain tumor without fighting for it you fought like hell. And if some woman had been standing between you and your ability to get out of bed, you would've fought her, Shepherd. There might have been Jell-O. Or mud. Maybe costumes.
Amelia: I am not gonna take personal life advice from you, Tom, because in that area, I have no respect for you.
Tom: Very smart. I have my flaws. But I only have one regret in this life, and that is that I watched my wife walk out the door of our marriage and into the bed of a man who wasn't me without fighting for her. It's not anti-feminist to fight for what you want. It's anti-Amelia not to.
Alex: I'm sorry I talked about kids on our honeymoon. It was stupid. It was just... You were talking about the future and snow stuff, and it just popped into my head. Like, I could see our kids playing in the snow, having fun, which is... You know, kids, snow. It makes sense.
Jo: Alex, shut up, please. I have an idea, a big idea, and I love you, and I will love all of our children, or at least one child, eventually. But for now, just shh.
Jackson: We almost got hit by a freaking car this morning.
Maggie: I know.
Jackson: Then I got hit by another kind of car.
Maggie: Hey, are you okay? You don't seem entirely okay.
Jackson: You know this morning, you said that faith is like just trusting that there's some giant hand out there that'll catch you, and then literally a hand pulled us out of the path of death?
Maggie: It was DeLuca's hand.
Jackson: I prayed, and April woke up.
Maggie: Or April woke up because I'm a really excellent doctor. Look, I'm not trying to be dismissive. And I'm not trying to claim any credit... What's funny?
Jackson: What's funny? You sound like me. You sound like me. I don't sound like me. It's embarrassing.
Maggie: Jackson...
Jackson: I'm embarrassed.
Maggie: It's okay to change. Yeah, I mean, actually, you should. You're alive. It's okay to evolve. It's okay to search for a deeper meaning.
Jackson: I believe in something. No idea what, but it's pulsing through me. You know, I want to take that leap. I do I want to trust my gut and feel like something's gonna catch me if I screw it up. I want to do what April and Matthew did, you know? I want to... I want to trust it.
Maggie: April and Matthew got married.
Jackson: Yeah. And I'm saying I want to trust it.
Maggie: We're... We're, um... We're out of milk.
Amelia: I have feelings.
Owen: I know. I know, and I am so sorry.
Amelia: No, Owen, don't apologize. I'm saying I have feelings for you. I have feelings for you. Like, um, pulse-racing, chest-pounding feelings, and I know that there is a lot of water under this particular bridge. And I would understand if you told me no, if you said, "Amelia, I can't go there again." I would understand. And if you are in love with Teddy and she's in love with you, I'm not gonna fight her. But if I never told you th... But if I never told you that I have feelings and you just went chasing after Teddy because I wasn't clear, I wouldn't be able to forgive myself for that.

See Also[]

A complete overview of this episode's crew can be found here.


References[]

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